I'm going to AFRICA!

Hey guys! Whats happening? Today we got back from Victoria, it was sweet. Most of the week was focased on our upcoming trip to South Africa! This guy from Zimbabway talked to us about its history and what to expect and stuff like that. It was neat. Then we had a meeting tonight, and we watched the video of last year's site's trip to SA. Ashley says hi. It was AMAZING! It became so much more real to me, that I'm going there to see giraffs and hold little black babies. It was phenominal, I almost cried through the whole video. The black people singing, the harmony! Oh it was FANTASTIC! I am so beyond pumped (and completely frightened) to go. I know already though, that I am completely going to fall in love with Africa, and every single child and person there, and that totally scares me. The thing that frightens me the most is coming home after Africa. I know I am going to be in the biggest funk of my life and that freaks me out. I just hope that I can take this whole thing one step at a time and enjoy every individual day. I'm also concerned about packing...Marcus said last year he didn't take hiking boots! I was like, why spend $160 on boots that I'll hardly wear? So dumb. That was frustrating. And hey, we get to learn to Gumboot dance, and it looks like so much fun! I'm super pumped. There is so much that we'll learn and get to do! I can hardly even wrap my mind around it. I am just so completely excited that I had to e-mail you as soon as the meeting was over. WOW! I'm going to Africa!! I can't believe it! This is intense!
In other news, all the boys here are shaving their heads. They feel so soft, everyone keeps rubbing their heads. Zach just shaved his, and its the softest thing I've ever felt. My black is fading but my hair still looks black. I'll send a pic home of it when I can. I really like it! Anyhoo, on Saturday night we went to a U of Vic basketball game and guess who they played? Brandon Bobcats!! It was insane! And they played really well too! I was like, small freaking world, eh? So that was cool, and at half time, they had Gumboot dancers! It was so cool! I was like, we were meant to be at this game! It was just crazy! Anyways, that was neat. We also went to a Rememberance Day Service at Royal Roads University (where they are filming X-Men 3!!) and it was beautiful, outdoors, and pouring rain. We got pretty wet (well my upper half was dry due to my rain coat) but it was nice and the trumpet player was amazing.
Well Mike wants on the computer so I should go. We have a free morning tomorrow which is sweet because I slept horribly at the hotel. So that will be nice, and we have class in the afternoon. Well I'd better go, I love you guys!

P.S. Henk e-mailed me! He's doing good and loving school!
P.P.S. Hey Jordan, I just bought a Jackson 5 Christmas CD and that its AMAZING!
P.P.P.S. Alysha (this totally fun girl who reminds me of KB) and Larissa (I love her) read mom's letters for me and they're both like, "I love your mom! I feel like I know her already!" It was cute! And I shared my Craisins, they were a big hit. Plus I invited all the Winnipeg to come out for a weekend some time after Outtatown is all said and done. They are super pumped to go to Hal's! :)

Wow...its been awhile

Hey everyone! Sorry its taken so long to post! I've been swamped and crazy busy! But here I am at the Blue Moose in Hope, BC with Allison and Alysha. I finally feel like I have enough time to talk about stuff going on here. We have a free weekend coming up, tomorrow we're all going into Chilliwack to buy Halloween costumes at Value Village. It should be fun, I have no idea what to be though. Anyhoo, I also have a book report due on "Can You Hear Me". Its all about hearing God, which I finally feel like I can do. This week has been amazing. We got into our small groups and laid hands on each other and prayed for one another. It was such a blessing! I was moved, and bawling, and I almost fell down once. Everything they said was an answer to the prayers I've been praying for the last 2 weeks. And I felt so loved, just by them having their hands on me and praying for me, it was a huge bonding moment. And last night, WOW! We hiked in the tunnels, and when we got back the boys had decorated the dining hall and planned this beautiful banquet supper for us. They served us and had cards and flowers for each of us. There were candles and some of the boys played guitar. Man it was beautiful and amazing. Joshua had also made a slideshow and it had all these pictures of us, and at the end of the night we had a hugging line! The best part was that the boys were all dressed up in ties and with gelled hair. Man that was awesome, they looked so beautiful and I was wearing like a hoodie. Man. Now I'm here and this is incredible. Sorry I can't write much more, I'm going to try my hardest to post more often. This is an amazing experience, I am SO BLESSED to be here!! I love and miss you all, you are in my prayers!!
P.S. The time is BC time.

First Day at Outtatown!

Oh my gosh, what a whirlwind of a day! Got to Winnipeg by 11:30, ate at Mickey D's and got to campus by 12:20. Ash and I were first to register and got our student loans figured out. Then we waited outside for the group photo, which was fun. I had an individual photo, worshiped with every other site (1 & 2) and then headed out to the lawn. Ash and I met Carmyn and said goodbye to our families before jumping in the van. The van ride here was so much fun, Ash and I were in a van full of fun people. There's this guy named Zack who's really funny and great at breaking ice. We sang Black Eyed Peas and Blink 182 on the way here. Then there's this funny girl named Sarah who totally has no fear of talking to new people. I sat with her and Zack, Ash, Carmyn and Leanne at supper and we talked about scars and times we've wounded ourselves. It was totally hilarious and totally fun! After supper we played games outside, just silly fun stuff (most people got winded really easily and we decided to call it "Outtashape" instead of Outtatown). It was fun, but the bugs got bad so we went inside and sat in circle and introduced ourselves to eachother, it was cool. I'm sharing a room with a girl named Alison, and sharing a bathroom with Mae, Nashley, and Janice. They're nice, Nashley is cool and she worked at Madge Lake Bible camp where Cass used to go! I'm having so much fun, the people here are awesome! I'll write a better post later, but its snack time (by the way supper was totally good). Tomorrow breakfast is at 8:30 and classes at 9:00. We have our first speaker tomorrow! I'm excited! We also have "alone time" which will be cool, its just time to spend alone with God. I'm totally pumped. The site leaders rock, I love Charlene (who's like 4'9") and just meeting all these new people! Anyhoo, I'd better go, I love you all!!!!
Love,
Janna :)

What if I Stumble?

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road You've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling
What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
I hear You whispering my name
You say "My love for You will never change"
Never change
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God
Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

Happy 100th post to me! :)

Red Eye (dun dun DUH)

Okay so last night Brynne and I has a crazy fun Gremlin trip to Bdn and saw Red Eye. It was totally enjoyable! The beginning was a bit draggy, because it relied to much on silly dialogue, but once they started beating the crap out of each other it got totally better! Seriously, that movie should be used for a self-defence class. I never knew that pens in the throat and stilletos in the thigh could be so lethal! Same with a cheerleading baton! She kicks his butt for like 30 minutes, and when he finally manages to catch her, she says to him, "you are so pathetic." HA! So true! I mean his butt gets kicked by a 5'5", 118 pound girl! And her hair looks beautiful the entire movie, even after being thrown down a flight of stairs. She rocks, I love Rachel McAdams! No matter what color her hair is, she looks stunning. And she's a convincing cryer. Anyhoo, so then we went to Walmart and I bought lipgloss called "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" and Brynne's was called "Rich and Famous" so we started coming up with guy's names who fit the titles. I had Ewan McGregor and Clive Owen, she had Kalan Porter and seriously just about any celebrity ever, lol. I think we should share Johnny Depp. I giggled. Then we went to Dairy Queen and headed for home just talking and chilling out. I totally missed that, we haven't done that in SO long! And I missed that and it so won't happen again until like CHRISTMAS. So freaking weird, I mean we're like attached at the hip and now we're separated until December. So weird. I can't believe she's leaving and I'm leaving and that we're all being separated. Yikes. I don't like it. Well I want to go watch Untamed Heart and have a good cry. Love you guys!

Canadian Idol - Week 6

After missing last week’s performances, I was thrilled to see my first live show because I’M DONE WORK, SUCKERS! Ha! Anyhoo, I finally got to watch it at 7:00, so that was nice.
Yay! Props to CI for bringing us the Guess Who week! So Zack started off the evening by playing guitar, which was entertaining, I guess. Really he just couldn’t stand being outdone by Josh last week. Anyways, Ben Mulroney is HOT! Holy crap! Sass’ shirt is appalling, not even a young girl should wear that, let alone Sass Jordan. I love Rex and his awesome accent. What an adorable boy.
He started the show singing “No Sugar Tonight”. Rex is so cute, I totally enjoyed it! He looked beautiful! And he was hurt, but he still sang amazingly and I loved it. Casey was almost overpowered by my father singing along, but from what I heard she was good! She looked amazing! And she sounded like the old Casey that I got to love, so I’m glad she’s back! Suzie tried to spin her way out of another boring performance. She sang a good song, but once again in the exact same style she always does. And mostly all she did was stomp around…meh I think she’ll be in the bottom. Melissa was DULL, and every line of the song ended in “eeee” which got really annoying, especially because it was sung on a flat awful note. She was B-A-D BAD and I agree with Zack finally, that her outfit etc was awful. Yikes! Okay, Aaron rocks! He just had to sing “These Eyes” it was so perfect for him and he did a really good, relatively un-cheesey performance. He deserved the standing O that Farley gave him. I was happy.
So…the bottom three is: Suzie, Melissa, and Rex (although I really hope Rex is safe) and MELISSA GOES. Because she is the only logical person to go! If she doesn't, I give up.

Word Vomit

So I'm at work right now...geez its freezing in here. And my ears keep clicking. Perhaps the meds are finally working. For the past few days I've felt like I have tinitus, hearing an electrical whirring all the time. It was weird, I could hear it over my own whisper. Now they are clicking away, making whooshing sounds like they do after you go swimming and your ears are all full of water. Good ole ear infection. I miss my scarf. It kept me toasty warm and now I’m just like freezing my butt off. It was just cozy and comforting. I hope Baba brings me something nice and hot for supper. Like a baked potato with sour cream. And soup, that stuff she brought me before. Supper should be here soon, like in the next half hour because Baba likes to feed me at like 4:00 in the afternoon. I miss Brynne. We haven’t hung out in ever. We should get together and rent “A Lot Like Love’, I wanna see it. Even though it has Ashton Kutcher in it. I actually enjoy Punked, its some stupid garbage but it is so much fun to watch people like Eva Longoria and Mario freaking out or weeping because they got arrested or had am old lady accuse them of looking at her breasteses. Ha ha! Know what movie I want to see again? Mod Squad. Totally enjoyable, the best part of the movie is Claire Danes’ hair, so pretty and fun and it never looks bad, ever. That’s kind of irritating. Like me missing all this season of the OC! And Lost too. I’m saddened, I mean how will I know what happened to Marissa after she shot Trey? Is Ryan mad? Is Kirsten sober? Is Sandy still wonderful? Please tell me Seth and Summer and good and going strong and that Zach is gone and that annoying girl Jess is gone too. And in Lost, who are the others? Is that kid still alive? Does bimbo still love brown man? When will Kate and Dr. Wonderful get together? Will the adorable Chinese couple re-unite? Is Charlie going to use the drugs they found on the plane? Will angry bald man lose his ability to walk? You can tell I’m rusty already because I forget all their names. Sadness. Brat Camp is almost over, and I’m beginning to mourn already. The opening to that show is so spectacularly amazing that I want to like eat it. Everyone on earth should be jealous that they didn’t create it, I mean the pictures, words, and music are all just like perfect and amazing and inspired. I love it. And Isaiah’s hair, and the name Isaiah. And Shawn’s stoner voice, I love it. He almost cried and I got emotional. I could really go on forever about Brat Camp, so I should stop now. I wonder if I can e-mail CTV and buy a copy of the season? I’d do it too. I am so cold I could die. I am so pining for my scarf right now. Ah I want to go home and watch old episodes of the OC that I taped. Four more hours of work. You people should watch SYTYCD because its fun and the dancing is great. Jonnis is amazing and Canadian, he does all this exciting clowning stuff. It was a fun time anyhoo. All hearing has gone out of my right ear. Its weird and annoying. Brynne brought me a scarf, its warm and crazy long! I love the Killers new song. Two more hours of work. Label makers are so addicting! I want to go home and watch the Notebook and Untamed Heart. Both of those movies are upsetting and moving. Baba gave me chocolate cake stuff and its thrilling. This sucks I am so done with work and I want to go home! I’m going to go to the bathroom as soon as the Killers song finishes (it came on right after I typed that I love it. Uncanny or what?). “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” Well now I only have one hour of work left, so I have to shut down the computer and cover it up for another year. Toodles! Thanks for coming out.

Crying a River

This is a sad sad day. I hate crying before I go to bed! I know it takes a really small and pathetic person to get so over-emotional and stupid over TV shows, but come on, even you were sad when Speed was killed on CSI: Miami, right? Was that just me? So I am sad because two of my favorite people were removed forever from my television tonight, and I've grown quite attatched to them, so I am mourning the loss.
Nick was like my favorite kid on Brat Camp, the most addicting and emotional show to ever grace my living room. Seriously! He's this little troubled guy with dyslexia who is 14 and can't read or tell you what 15 divided by 3 is, but he's so endearing and sweet that you just want to cry and embrace him. Which I did - well the crying part at least. He was a good boy who changed and promised not to try to kill his brother anymore and he left Sagewalk and went home tonight, away from my TV for always. I'm saddened. At least Shawn is still around - he makes me emotional too, when Mother Raven almost wept and touched his head...sigh. I will truely weep when he is gone for good.
I can't believe Josh was kicked off Canadian Idol! I miss a week and look what happened!! I mean Daryl going last week was crazy, but this is ridiculous. I just sat on my couch and bawled, what a man, what a genius, what a presence, what a talent, what an individual, what an OUTRAGE that those three girls beat him! He's such a lovely man, such a lovely spirit, he's better off without idol, but now I can't watch him every week. Everyone go to idol's official site and watch the video of him singing "In the Air Tonight", it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I just bawled. A crime, really.
So thats pretty much it for my rant. I only have 2 more days of work and like 2 weeks until Outtatown. I am going to wet myself I am so frightened!!!

I Love Qass

This is me and my beautiful friend Cassie at Joey's Only. I really miss her. Knowing Cassie is like knowing the person that you wish you were, you know? She's one of those people who makes you a better person just for hanging around her. She loves everybody genuinely because she sees us all as siblings in Christ and in return everyone loves her. I think I love her the most.
I miss her today.

I Heart VBS

Okay, so this week is VBS, and I am crazy busy, going to the church to prepare in the am, VBS from 1:00 - 3:30, and then working from 4:00 - 8:00. Crazy. But seriously, one hug from an adorable child makes it all worth it. I love those kids. This one kid, named Cory, looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid, just sweet and innocent. And these kids are SMART. They are so much fun, and maybe I'm jynxing myself by saying this on day 2, but they're pretty well behaved. I love it, and this is the first year that I've taught VBS where I feel like I'm doing it right, like I feel that God is giving me the right words to say to these kids. Its making me crazy excited to go to Africa and embrace and love and witness to beautiful African children. I am SO pumped, because this year's VBS is giving me all this experience. I actually might cry on the last day, I'm so thankful for all these kids and their willingness to learn about God. VBS is an amazing experience that I won't forget. Plus I get to do it with Curtis, and hanging out has been so much fun, with too many laughs to count (spitting ice cream, Mr. Doolots, juice powder, glittery signs, Chinese Codie, silly kid jokes), staying up way to late to get ready, He's just the best, and we could not do it without Kate. Thank God for Kate, our extra hand and voice of reason. AH it just rocks I am having so much fun! Thats pretty much it. :)

Canadian Idol - Week 4

Ok, its Big Band week on CI, which is odd because its usually one of the last themes. Oh well, lets see what our idols can do!
Suzi Rawn opened the show singing this song we listened to in Jazz Band. It sounded nothing like it. I must agree with my brother when he said during her performance, "some people just shouldn't try singing" because he hit the nail on the head. She suits the jazz stuff I guess, but it was very lounge singer-esque and mostly was sung by the crowd. Meh. Aaron's dancing was adorable!! This was his thing, he did it and it was great! Farley was finally like, "just embrace who you are!" and I agree. Good for Aaron, he should be proud of his ability. The worst performance of the night was by Melissa, singing "De-Lovely". It was more like "De-AWFUL" and "De-id not hit a note". It was awful, our judges don't even listen anymore. They just say what they want. Talk her up all you want, you did the same thing to Elena and she was eliminated pretty fast. I WANT TO MARRY JOSH. He shaved, pushed back his hair and looked so beautiful I wanted to explode. There is no reason why he shouldn't win. Can I marry him please? Wow, it was almost a religious experience. It was....wow. Wow wow WOW. The next best performance was by none other than Rex Goudy. He was simply amazing. Holy mother, I love him, he's so beautiful and real and emotional and honest and wow. Holy cleavage Casey! Thats not how I like to see my nice little girl. Her voice hardcore broke and she was boring as per usual. Daryl is the cutest guy ever. I mean dang, this kid can SING. My gosh! I want to hug him, the judges were unreasonably mean to him. LIKE SO MEAN. Evil Jake! And like you can talk Farley, in your ugly nasty old lady Easter hat. Yuck. They just jealous that he is so much better than Melissa and Suzi combined. Wow, thats actually a bad mental image.
Some other things to note - Zach actually dressed well tonight! Farley's hat is hideous. The band is AMAZING. And lastly, Ben Mulroney is the tallest person alive. He towers above everyone. Thought he looked ready to work the cruise ship, I still love him.
So...the bottom three is: Casey, Melissa, and Suzi (if Daryl, Josh, Rex or Aaron are in the bottom 3 heads will roll). And MELISSA GOES. Man I hope so!

BOO CANADA!!!

I can't BELIEVE that Amber got kicked off!!! What is wrong with Canada? YUCK YUCK YUCK! I want to throw something...
This is awful....its exactly like eliminating Kalan Porter third and leaving Manoah behind. Vomit. Filth. Yuck. I cannot find anything to say that is pleasant.
I dunno, if Zach doesn't give her a record deal....
I AM ANGRY. If I was one of those Brat Camp kids this post would be very different. Speaking of that show, it puts me in the hugest funk ever. I am currently angry to be a citizen of Canada. I feel like I am surrounded by clueless people. Have we turned into the US, where we choose Ruben over Clay? Vonzell over Nikko? A pretty face over any pinch of talent? I am disgusted by this choice, and will continue to be so.
This is depressing, Canadian Idol was so much better last year with Kalan, Josh, Shane, you know, people with talent. I guess now I'm pulling for Daryl. And Josh (who was in the bottom two - ridiculous!), a musical genious. Whatever, it obviously doesn't matter who has talent anymore.

Janna: Boo! Boo! Boo!
Canadian Public: Why do you do this?
Janna: Because you had talent in your hands, and you gave it up!
Canadian Public: But they would have eliminated Suzi if we hadn't done it.
Janna: Your next Canadian Idol was there. And you chose another. Amber saved you in the Top 10, and you treated her like garbage. And that's what you are, the Country of Refuse. So cheer her on now if you want, cheer to her. Cheer on, Country of Slime, Country of Filth, Country of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo! Boo! Boo!

(Special thanks to the Princess Bride for the script.)

Canadian Idol - Week 3

Okay, so here I am for another night of Idol fun! It was 80’s week. Yeah I know, my favorite era of music. I was soooo excited about it too (note the sarcasm).
First of all, I love to say how happy I am to see Zack humiliated on national TV. Playing a clip of his old rock band…priceless. His hair was hilarious.
Anyhoo, Amber started the show. It was alright. I mean, sung well, but just…meh. I wanted chills and I just didn’t get them. Rex was next, and he looked splendid as usual. He was good, I mean I enjoyed it. He sang it like Rex. Ok, when Byrd says that you sang ‘okay’ and you’re about to perform in front of Canada…that’s the kiss of death. This is what was said to Casey in her pre-song clip. I think anyone who thinks that was good has gym socks in their ears. Sass only liked it because they shared the same hair style and color of extensions. Daryl may be odd, but he is amazing!!! He was completely awesome tonight, singing ‘Tainted Love’ which is one of my favorites. That kid rocks. What up with Suzi’s scary dancing? She must’ve read my review last week and tried not to spin or sing like Pee Wee, and somehow it was 10 times worse. She looked hot, but sounded completely hideous. Wow. Aaron is amazing for having a faux hawk! He did so good! I am happy that Jake yelled at Zack (by the way Zack, the show is NOT about you so get over yourself). JOSH WAS AMAZING. OH MY GOSH WHAT TO EVEN SAY. INEXPLICABLE. FRESH! EXCITING! Ha ha ha. He was brilliant. I thought Melissa was about to pole dance the way she kept carrying her mike stand around for no reason. ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ is a great song, but it was not sung great at all. She can leave at any time and I’ll be glad.
Sooo…I survived 80’s week. Everyone should be proud, especially Brynne.
Down to business: the bottom three – Casey, Suzi, Melissa. This is a toss up between Suzi and Casey, but I guess I have to decide. CASEY GOES.
Note: Due to Ashley's elimination, I'd like to offer a big fat congrats to Suzi Rawn, Canada's first Pee Wee Idol!!

Canadian Idol - Week 2

Okay, so last week I was off a bit on the bottom three, but Emily was eliminated, as I predicted. Whoo! So here I am again to dis…I mean, to critique tonight’s performances.
Casey started the show off with a yawn, singing pretty well, but just not great. That’s the weird thing with her – she’s good but just not good enough. She’s too cute though. Next was Josh, who just did what he does. It was funny, I enjoyed the dancing. He really needs to shave, though. Ashley attempted to growl her way through a song and hide her missed notes (as in all of them) by spinning the entire performance. Hey, the Pee Wee-ness seems to work for Suzi. Didn’t work so well for her though. Of course the judges loved it, I mean she’s got a meaner growl than Sass Jordan, so she was probably feeling intimidated. Daryl decided to act like a star and walked out confidently, not like he was about to dodge tomatoes. He was awesome! He sang so well and loosened up a lot, I feel so proud of him! Plus he sang “Superstition” which is always a good time. I know I said it last week, but I’ll say it again: I. LOVE. REX. That’s pretty much all there is to it, he sang like a cool tough guy. I had no idea that the song “Gansta’s Paradise” sampled a Stevie Wonder song! I know I’m slightly biased, because she was born in Manitoba, but Amber is so wonderful, its getting to the point that I just have to look at her and get chills. She should win, I really want her up there. Brilliant. Ooh, and I lose all respect for Melissa but brutalizing the song that she sang tonight. It was putridly awful. She can’t hold on much longer. Aaron did so well. The thing that’s different about him in comparison to most of the other competitors is that he does the same stuff they do, only he actually hits the notes. He’s got some mad talent. Suzi continues to compete for Pee Wee Idol this week, singing that song from “Center Stage”. She copies Ashley and tries spinning to hide her bad notes. Perhaps all the competitors should start spinning, the judges really seem to like that.
It was all around a pretty enjoyable show, with all the people I like doing well, and all the people I don’t doing whatever it is they do.
The bottom three? Melissa, Ashley, Casey. AND ASHLEY GOES.

P.S. Hey if she leaves then Suzi can officially be crowned the winner of the first Pee Wee Idol!

To Avoid Being Tarred and Feathered...

I've decided to post my Canadian Idol rantings on my site, instead of on their website where I will be beaten and hated by every Idol fan in Canada.
So...last night was the first night of the top 10. I wasn't expecting much, because Canada has promptly turned into the USA by voting all these talentless girls in based on looks instead of singing ability. I wasn't expecting much, and I didn't get much.
Aaron was first, and he was okay I guess, kinda fun, but ultimately forgettable. Emily was next. This girl is BAD, as in TERRIBLE and completely TALENTLESS. Like she is horrendously awful, and I am offended that she was voted in above Vince and Josh. Oh it just makes me sick. She thinks she's miss Teen Canada and she needs a strong kick in the teeth to convince her otherwise. I'd just like to thank Farely for his comments and Zach as well who called her a pageant singer. Daryl was next, my boy Daryl, who was so scared I thought he was going to die right there on stage. He was possibly frightened by Sass' boob exposure! Poor kid, he'll improve with time. That kid can sing though. Even Baba told me he had good tone. Suzi was next - and I'll admit it early, that I cannot stand her. The mere sight of her unclean hair and the way she sings! Man! What is this, Pee Wee Herman Idol?!? And she was bad, every big note she reached for or run she sang was just off and terrible. Even Kristin, who likes her, said she was bad. So thats that. Melissa gets some points because I liked her bio. She seems like a cool chick and I love seeing her in shorts, playing basketball and being normal. She sang pretty good too I guess. Ashley is competing in the Pee Wee Idol competition as well, I see. Her song was "near flawless" because it consisted of five notes and takes no skill whatsoever to sing. I loved her brother crying and saying "this is like Oprah - they make you cry!" That was awesome. Rex....Rex....I LOVE REX. This boy can really do no wrong, in my mind. I love his accent and his reference to the Loreal Girls. What a nice boy. Amber is AMAZING. She looked beautiful and I had chills the entire song, I was seriously freezing afterwards. When Zack called her voice holy, he's pretty close. Josh was incredible, that boy is OFF THE HOOK. Just amazing. Too good for the show and wonderful. Plus his guitar room is pink, how amazing is that? Casey was cute, she's so adorable and I feel bad for her because her song was so rushed.
So, what's my prediction for tonights bottom 3? Emily, Aaron, Casey - AND EMILY GOES. She MUST go...

I Am Understood?

Okay, I'm gonna steal some of Cassie's words when she said, "what the dog is up with blindside that, like, influences me so deeply?" Because I feel the EXACT same way about Relient K. Their songs never cease to amaze, move and bless me so much that I can't even describe it. Jesus is so present in their lives. Last night I was listening to "Two Lefts Don't Make a Right, But Three Do" and I had to stop and write down what I felt. I was like, Matt Theisson is AMAZING. I mean I've never met him or anything, but it feels like he just gets me and writes songs that say what I'm thinking and feel but could never write. Its like we're so on the same track, and he's so amazing because he shares all these personal conversations with God and records them. Wow, they are so amazing. Here's a song that blesses my life, I hope it blesses yours.

sometimes it's embarassing to talk to you
to hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
this version of myself i try to hide behind
i'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
and sometimes i'm so thankful for your loyalty
your love regardless of the mistakes i make will spoil me
my confidence is in a sence, a gift you've given me
and i'm satisfied to realize you're all i'll ever need
you looked into my life and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
are so simple but so beautiful
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak
you let me know, i am understood
and sometimes i spend my time just trying to escape
i work so hard, so desperately, in an attempt to create space
cause i want distance from the utmost important thing i know
i see your love, then turn my back, and beg for you to go
you looked into my life and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
you're so simple but so beautiful
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak
you let me know, i am understood
you're the only one who understands completely
you're the only one who knows me yet still loves completetely
and sometimes the place i'm at is at a loss for words
if i think of something worthy, i know that it's already yours
and through the times i've faded and you've outlined me again
you've just patiently waited to bring me back and then
you looked into my life and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
you're so simple but so beautiful
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak
you let me know, i am understood
your voice has broken my defence
let me embrace salvation
your voice has broken my defence
let me embrace salvation
let me embrace
let me embrace salvation.

Grad 2005

Look, it's Curtis and me on grad day, aren't we beautiful?

I don't really have the drive to write anything about grad, other than it was a great day, everyone looked beautiful, I WON AWARDS and I was really emotional and cried through alot of it. Thanks so much to everyone who gave me cards that said nice things in them (thats you, Christie) and for all the beautiful gifts. And special thanks to my parents who made all of this possible, I'm sorry for all the time, money, concern and effort you've put in through the past 12 years, especially when it came to math, Mom. I don't even wanna think of where I'd be without all of the above stuff, so really I am truely grateful. Even though I am very excited to finish this chapter of my life, I am also sad to leave behind many amazing people that have helped make me into the person that I am today. Without most of you, I think life would be very different. Thanks for all your prayers! I love you all!!

P.S. I miss you Cass.
P.P.S. I miss Ireen too.
P.P.P.S. And Henky Panky, miss you, boy.

Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…

Best Weekend Ever

Okay so I just had, like, the most amazing weekend ever.
The youth group went to PLBC and cleaned up the camp. So we left on Friday at 4:00, and I was in the vehical w/ Ashley, Leanna, Adrienne, Henk and Brion. Leanna and Beatrice and I talked the whole way there about all this stuff, like drinking and smoking and premarital sex and everything we could think of and discussed the spiritual stuff about it. That was awesome. Then we got there and like, picked out our beds in the cabin. I had all awesome people in mine - Ashley, Adrienne, Allison, Natalie, and Leanna. I was pumped. So we all walked around and hung out, and Allison and I just talked and it was totally awesome to get to know her better, we have so much stuff in comman. So then, like, we had supper, which was fantastic and wonderful and we hung out more, then we had a campfire devotion, at which I gave my testimony. It was scary, but it felt so wonderful after, and like I totally cried and it made Ashley cry. Then everyone came up and hugged me and thanked me. Henk told me it was moving.
So then we went inside and had hot chocolate. It was so hot we all burned our tongues. Henk played the piano for us and it was beautiful. He's so good, (who knew?) and really it was so pretty. Then Leanna and Allison and I hung out, talking about God and everything, and it was so cool to have people want to talk about it. It was bed time, and Leanna sat up in her bunk reading the Bible. Ashley came up to join us, and we just layed there talking (all three of us on a single bed, TOP BUNK, man it was awkward). We laughed like idiots and it was so much fun. After like 3 hours we fell asleep. I woke up at like 5:30 and was so hot and uncomfortable, so I moved down to my bed. Leanna was like "no offence Janna, but THANK GOD." It was funny. Two hours later we were geting up for breakfast. It was pancakes, my favorite.
Then we split into groups and my group did the dishes. After that we went to dig out the volleyball pit. That was awful, the "sand" has turned hard as cement. It was bad. So Henk and I went to clean the tuck shop, and just talked and had some really good coversations about God and stuff. It was so neat to talk to him about it. We just talked for like an hour. After that we went back to the pit and picked weeds out of it. It was fun, Curtis and I buried Kim in the sand. So then we had lunch and had free time until 3:00. So Leanna and I sat in her bunk and talked about our church and all this stuff that we felt and stuff. It was so amazing. We felt the same about so much of it. So like, I changed and got clean and I just hung out with people, it was cool. Curtis and I played volleyball. I love that kid.
Then we drove to Brandon and had free time in the mall. I walked around with Leanna and Ash. I bought mascara. Anyhoo. So I met up with my parents, and the youth group left. I got my pictures developed and they are awesome, so many of me and Carlyle!!! Yay! Anyhoo. So yeah. I looked for grad shoes and couldn't find any. That was sad. Then I bought these beautiful and amazing pink and black airwalks, I love them to death. So we ate and the McDonalds guy hit on me, it was ridiculous. So on Sunday I went to church and we did fuzzy wuzzies in Sunday School. People wrote nice stuff on mine, and Curtis wrote "the greatest ever!" and Ashley wrote "the bestest friend." I was so thrilled I almost peed.
After church we got ready for mom's b-day party (her birthday is today). Then people came over. It was so fun, and the food and the cake was amazing. We sat around and it was awesome. Everyone went for a walk and then Ashley and I had this deep and amazing talk and we sang songs from camp and talked about songs we want to teach the orphans in Africa. It was so fun. Then everyone came back and Henk was soaked cuz he fell in a flooded ditch. It was hilarious. So we talked and ate around the campfire. After the Bakers left, Henk and Kristin and I sat around the fire, talking. Its so sad, I was just watching Henk and memorizing all these things about him, trying to take it all in and put it in a box so I could keep it and remember it always. I almost cried, I'm sad he's leaving. Then she went to bed and we talked out there until 3:00 am about everything. He's never been so open, ever. It was neat to hear him just be open and honest. So yeah, I'm tired, but I sat with Carlyle all band class, it was awesome. I should go, this post is way too long.

Breathe

Sorry I haven't done a real post in forever. I've just felt uninspired or lazy or something, and I didn't want to do a crappy job of a post. So yes, here I am to spill out my brain as I see fit.
Okay so Tuesday night was the final band concert - or wait, my final band concert, ever. Last year I would've been praising God, but this year in band was so much fun! I think I'll miss it, I love so many of the people, and the music is so good! Dang. But yeah. It was fun though, I took some pictures of me with my peeps, and if they turn out I'll put some of them up on here.
Okay so did you like ever hear a song and wish you wrote it, or thought of some of the lines? That Anna Nalick song, 2 am (Breathe) has some lines that make me go, "dang! I wish I wrote that!"
2 am and I'm still awake writing this song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to
Frick, thats some good stuff, same with when she says, "life's like an hourglass glued to the table." Who came up with that anyways? I wish I could've. Know what else is a beautiful song? Iris, by Goo Goo Dolls. Wow. Anyhoo, I'm dumb, I'm feeling all funky and depressed because I don't have a job, and I need one, and this is my last normal month, and Henk is leaving so soon, and I'll like never see him, and yeah I'm sad. So thats pretty much it for me right now. So yeah. Sorry this post has sucked as much as it does.