day seventeen.

Why don’t we end this lie? I can’t pretend this time. I need a friend to find my broken mind before it falls to pieces. Misery won’t get the best of me because I’m calling, yes I’m calling on your bluff. Throw down the cards I’ve had enough.

- Billy Talent, This Suffering (II)

I am so grateful for my job last summer. Watching the lawn people mow the grass today made me miss Betty (my New Holland front blade mower) SO VERY much! I miss the instant gratification of cutting grass, being proud of my accomplishments, beautifying the town. I miss getting lost in my thoughts, just mowing and thinking and praying and singing and getting paid for it. What a great job. I am so glad I had that last summer.

I want to work from home EVERY DAY. It was awesome. It was so great, putting little to no effort into my appearance, sitting in a room with WINDOWS and all natural light, playing any music I want as loud as I want, singing along, not listening to gossip or complaining, not internet to distract me, just me and tons or productivity. It was the best. I feel so rejuvenated. I am defs going to see if I can do this again next week. Plus: I loved having Terrell over for lunch! That was so nice. I think he enjoyed eating more than a sandwich as well.

Tonight Nonie was taking pictures of me to practice with her flash and lets just say if I had a dollar for every time she said, “I’m just going to take one more” I would have enough coffee money for the rest of the…week. Yeah I would say summer but that’s such an over exaggeration, considering how much coffee I consume on a weekly basis.

Thinking about last summer makes me think about my Baba. She fed me every lunch hour, and I miss our little chats. There was a good three summers in a row where I felt like I lived at Baba’s house because I worked in SL and was eating there/being fed by her daily. That was great. How I didn’t weigh a zillion pounds afterwards I’m not sure. I miss her, I miss her talking in third person, I miss her food, her garden, her obsession with birds. I miss her clip on earrings and aprons. No take everything I just said I miss and put the word love there instead. I love getting her letters. I hope she’s doing alright.