day seven.

Lyric that has seriously been harassing me today (and I am not proud of this):

You got me trippin (oh), stumbling (oh), flippin (oh), fumbling (oh)
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love (in love)
You got me slippin (oh), tumbling (oh), sinking (oh), fumbling (oh)
Clumsy cuz I'm fallin in love (in love)
-Fergie, Clumsy (The Dutchess)

Stupid Fergie. I can’t wait until she sings in Sarnia and leaves forever, they have played this song on the radio WAY too much! Ps, Fergie can’t spell, I am aware that ‘Dutchess’ is incorrect spelling wise but that’s her brilliance, not mine.

What I am grateful for today:

My job! I have had such a good, quick, productive and successful day. Its been sweet and its days like today that make me feel like I’m actually doing a good job here. I get to work in an office and do something that actually feels like it matters, and that’s pretty cool. I also feel really good today AND I am having a hot day. Settle down, me.

What I want:

I really need to stop being such a worrier. Its stupid and doesn’t get me anywhere. I think I could read that scripture every day about not worrying and it still wouldn’t sink in. I mean I read it, and I know it, but like, how do you believe it? How do you apply it to your life? I feel like it’s the same as being told every day that you are beautiful and made in God’s image, which is great to hear and easy to know, but believing it in the head is different than believing it in your heart. It took me 10 years to even start to sometimes believe that – how long will it take with this worrying nonsense? Especially because I spend my worrying time fretting over things that haven’t happened yet, and perhaps may not ever happen. And that, my friends, is just a complete waste of time and effort.

Do not worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God your needs and don’t forget to thank Him for His answers. (Phil. 4:6)

Moment of joy today:

On the way to baseball, I was still reeling from what I had just read in White Oleander (a rather disturbing read, and I’m only on page 86!), and I mentioned to Terrell that I was feeling pretty disturbed. Usually he won’t let me/asks me not to tell him anything that I find disturbing, but he could tell I was feeling pretty squirmy so he broke down, saying, “Ok, ok. Tell me about it.” And I proceeded to tell him the gory details. It wasn’t nearly as scarring as it was to read it in the book, because she writes quite poetically, but I was happy to tell someone anyhow.

Also, I love doing devotions with Terrell, just talking about stuff like that together is really amazing.

Somebody I love:

I was remembering today this incredibly emo day I was having first year, and Scott was too, so we stayed up really late listening to his Ipod singing Kelly Clarkson and High School Musical. It was so fun and exactly what I needed. Scott was there for me so much first year, he was the friend I really needed and he was always there for me. We had this ability to hang out together when we were feeling introverted. Together we laughed, talked, cried, stayed up too late and ate way too much McDonalds. He was such a Godsend and I am so happy to call him a friend.