Thursday, February 11, 2010

recess

its kinda funny how just one tiny thing can take you right back to the emotional state of being 10 years old.

a few days ago i was in terrell's apartment and as i was leaving, friend after friend of ours was coming into the apartment with food. they had decided to all make supper togeher and eat together, each person bringing different foods that were cooked together to create a dish.

i felt really awkward, because terrell was invited, and my roomate was participating, and i knew nothing about it. so i went back to my room to eat supper by myself in my apartment.

before i left terrell said i should stay if i wanted to, but i felt awkward because i didn't have any food to contribute to the meal. i also just felt awkward because frankly, i wasn't invited. even though terrell invited me in that moment (and his roomate sort of invited me to stay as i was leaving), i already felt shafted and didn't feel like staying. does anyone else get that? or am i alone here and you think i was being dumb for not staying?

(as an aside, i might have stayed after terrell's invite but i had a massive migraine and just needed quiet)

well i got back to my apartment and made a salad and was on the verge of tears the entire time. i thought at one point i might actually cry...and i felt ridiculous about it!! my friends didn't forget me to be mean, or to make some point...they just forgot, and in our busy lives i can't blame them. but i still felt like i was in grade 6 and my friends started playing a cool game at recess without me and then when i showed up they said i could be the maid while they were all princesses (hey, thats the way it was in the '90s).

i am not telling this story to make anyone feel bad, or to make you feel sorry for me, but rather to point out that a person can be quickly approaching 25 and still feel like a prepubescent.

people are weird.

4 comments:

Jadis said...

I totally get it...I've been on the track of reminicsing my childhood big time and tons of things are reminding me of it.

Mom said...

Stuff like that still happens to me, and as we all know, I'm 42. (Aren't I? That's right, isn't it? If my sister is 24 now, that makes me . . . )
Seriously, though, unintentional or not, that was thoughtless of your friends, and that kind of thing continues to happen through life. Know what feels worse? Unintentionally doing it to someone else. That's when you really realize you aren't 10 anymore. Love ya.

KBL said...

Grade six is a rough time. Hang in there, Jan; your friends probably thought you had some fabulous catered church function to be at, right? It's crazy how quickly people get out of synch when life situations become different (i.e. student life vs. working life). I hope you're having a good week.

Please don't say things like 'fast approaching 25!' Some of us are driving a little faster up that hill lol.

As always, Mom, excellent math skills. Just add the fact that you worked in bookkeeping/accounting!

Mom said...

lol