Much Ado About Nothing

Wow, I haven't posted in ever! I never seem to have a spare moment. Anyways, hows it going? Last night I spent all night writing this essay for ELA. It was comparing To Kill a Mockingbird (really good book) and Of Mice and Men (really sad book). It was pretty easy, but very extremely long. Anyways, so yeah. And its a little crazy at my house, emotional wise. Everyone's kinda freaking out, which is understandable, but the tension is really high and weird. Anyways, I had a dentist appointment so I had to miss Jazz band, which sucks. I love Jazz band, and when Eddie plays Default music! But next month, on December 29th I get my braces off! Whee! I am so excited. And I love Josh Groban, holy crap. He's so pretty and talented! Like the song "When You Say You Love Me" is so amazing and I wish he was singing it at me! Wow! LOL anyways, this is dumb and I don't have much else to say. Oh except this: know who I like? Ireen. I think she's nice and fun to hang out with at school. We're totally friends. Anyways, better fly!
P.S. I wish I could fly! I am such a Peter Pan loser!

Clocks

Hello hello again. So today I woke up an hour earlier than usual because I can't tell time. So I suck and am exhausted! But I actually ate breakfast this morning and read some of To Kill A Mockingbird, which was nice.
I'm excited, because today I get my HOJA CD! They were so awesome! And yeah, there are three different ones and Sarah and Ashley and I are collectively getting them all, so we'll share! I'm excited. Okay so my lips have been so uber dry lately, its annoying! Especially after band class. And so I've been slathering vasoline on them (hot, I know) but it like soaks in in like 2 minutes. So I hafta keep slopping it on. Yuck, it tastes bad. So yesterday we went to the art gallery in Brandon and looked at two different shows. One was The Best Man by Riel Benn, and the other was Cowboys and Indians (and Métis?) by David Garneau. They were really good! The Riel Benn stuff was really weird though. It was kinda creepy. He's really talented, though. I guess he just likes to use his talent to paint weird things. Then we got to paint with acryllic paint, which is the bestest. That was fun too. And on the way back we listened to Brynne's Kalan Porter CD!! I love it! There are some really good songs! Kalan is so awesome and pretty and NOT girly (darn you, Kalan bashers!). I guess it was weird that I called him pretty and ungirly in the same sentence. I'm a freak. Anyways, off to do some dreaded math before going to dreaded art and then buying my HOJA CD! Whoo! Talk at y'all later!
P.S. Last night I said goodbye to Patches, the cat Brynne is taking care of. I love that cat and I will seriously miss her! I love having a cat, and she's so pretty and cuddly and cute! I'll post some pictures if they turn out.

Under Pressure

What to even say...not a whole lot is new. I am feeling SO STRESSED about my math! Like I am freaking out. I refuse to think about grad because what if I'm not there? What if I don't graduate? Why did this happen to me? I mean life would be so much less stressful if I didn't have this math thing hanging over my head. I could anticipate grad and be excited about it. Frick this sucks. And lately I feel like I've gained some weight, and I mean I usually don't care, but like I was starting to trim down and be comfortable with myself, and now all I see is yucky flab. And life is so crazy and stressful and I just want to die and be finished math! Why don't I have my sister's brain? She'd be done it by now, or at least she'd have passed Pre-Calc in the first place. Frick. I'm gonna go do math now.
Oh and by the way Brion and I made up yesterday. That took a long time! And he told me I was his best friend. :)

Food, Glorious Food

Okay so tonight was SO MUCH FUN! There was Youth Group, which I needed after such a crappy day. It was the progressive supper, and we had appetizers, ceasar salad, potato soup, roast beef with potatoes and gravy, and turtle cake. Everything was inexplicably yummy! Then we had the devotion at my house. There were 28 teens squished into my living room. It was insane! Afterwards we all went outside and hung out and lots of people left. Brion, Brynne, Henk, Codie, Kate and I walked down to the church. Then Codie and Kate left, and the rest of us cruised in Henk's truck. It was totally frightening! He's a horrible driver, I gotta say. But it was so fun too. Then we dropped off Brion and the three of us talked and cruised in the Gremlin. That was so awesome! I mean Henk and I haven't bonded since...grade 10. And he was like yeah, I'm gonna take you guys flying! I was so excited! And we're gonna go see a movie sometime too. And then he told me I was awesome to talk to, and that was nice! We listened to Em and totally had a good time. We just cruised and had Gremlin moments, which are the best kind. One of the few that don't involve Dean! Thats a good thing. Anyways, so yeah it was totally awesome and I didn't get home until like, 11:00. Brynne was whining about how she had to get home, but I don't really blame her cause her dad's home and she had a 10 minute drive. But yeah it was totally awesome and tonight made my weekend. Anyways, I should go to bed so I can get up for church.
Night all!

The Nylons (and other good stuff)

So yesterday was actually a pretty good day, after all. We got our report cards, and I have 90% in ELA, 66% in Bio, 93% in Art, 89% in Band and 95% in Jazz Band. Good enough, I say! Well Bio could definately be brought up alot. So thats one to work on, but other than that, good on me! And last night The Nylons were at the theatre. I just about FREAKED they were so freaking amazing! I'm listening to their CD right now actually - I even got it signed. They are so amazing, and they wore funny sparkly shirts and danced all silly. And they were so hilarious! Everytime they spoke everyone was laying in the aisles laughing! They were just so totally awesome, what extraordinary talent. That was probably the best talent to ever be on that stage. Wow, they were amazing! And so many people I knew were there. Like David and Trevor, Hannah, Julia, and all these Dinner Theatre people. I miss them! They all came and talked to me and told me they missed me. They all wanted to know what I was up to, and I was like wow, I miss Dinner Theatre! Anyways, so I got home at like 10:45, so then I did my bio until late, so I am super tired today. I think Brynne and I are gonna watch a movie tonight. Yay the OC is on! Adam Brody! Right on. Later!

Me Against the World

So today I woke up and decided I was gonna do what I wanted and not care what anyone said. So I got up and thought I'd wear sweatpants - its all about comfort, baby! I also decided to vent through my eye make up. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, right? LOL. So I'm wearing like an inch thick of black eyeliner on both lids. I think it looks cool, actually. And I wore my Westman hoodie because it makes me happy. I need to feel happy because today is report card day.
Plus last night I had a fight with Brion. He was being such a boy about everything too, which made me more mad than I already was. I thought he was better than that, that we were different and he didn't have to act like a moron with me. But I guess we slipped. As Avril Lavigne would say, we lost it. LOL! Oh, Avril. Anyways, I'm off to do some more math, and then I have band instead of art! Yay!
Oh and I had a bio test today and thought it went pretty well.
And I'm listening to Josh Groban....hee hee I love him!

"The Dirt"

Okay, so I haven't done a real post in a while, so here goes.
Life had been alright lately I guess. I'm been in the crappiest of crappy moods lately and everyone seems to be trying my patience and pushing all the wrong buttons. And now I am remembering why I'm not friends in a group of 3. Because I always end up being the one feeling left out. Like the other two are way tighter than you and have all these inside jokes that are mentioned all the time. I hate when someone treats you a certain way to make you feel special and then does it to someone else too. I mean, that just makes me feel cheap. Everything seems to be disappointing me too. My friends, school, myself. I am freaking out about report cards like you would not believe! Yuck. I just don't like school, and I'm overtired and WAY behind in my math and really starting to feel the pressure now. And why haven't they contacted us about Drama yet? Why did I dream about Blaine and David? Why is my head so itchy? These are the questions that haunt me frequently. Well I'm off to do some math and then go to art class (joy).
Wow this was mopey and stupid. Sorry everyone.

Remember When It Rained

Josh Groban is the most talented person alive. I swear. He just blows my mind. Last night he sang "Remember When It Rained" on the AMA's. It was amazing! He like held this one note forever and it was so glorious and beautiful. And just effortless too! Oh wow I love him! So here they are, the lyrics for an amazing and beautiful song sung by someone who gets way less credit and respect as an artist than he deserves!

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do

Oh, remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Oh, remember when it rained
In the darkness I remain

Tears of hope run down my skin
Tears for you that will not dry
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die

Oh, remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Oh, remember when it rained
In the water I remain

Running down...
Ah ah ah ah ah na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Oh oh ah oh ah na na
Running down...

I Celebrate the Day

by Relient K
I find this song so incredibly moving and wonderful...

With this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let you know
How much you've touched my life because
Here is where you're finding me
In the exact same place as New Years Eve
And from the lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I wanna be

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?

And so this Christmas I'll compare
The things I've felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That you have come to meet me here

To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me
And the hope that
That you give
That you were born so I might really live
To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me…

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?

And I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life

Relient K Rocks My Socks!

Hey all. Nothing really new to report about. I was listening to my Relient K CD today when I was doing math. I love them! Really, they are my favorite band ever, they are so talented and awesome. They can be hilarious, and then sing something so moving and thought provoking that it just blows me away. It just rocks my socks. I mean there's this song on their Christmas CD called "I Celebrate the Day" and its so wonderfully moving. They make me feel like I can just open my ears and listen and hear God speak. I mean their lyrics are all about how we're normal, and we screw up, but God loves us so much that He just embraces us and loves and forgives us through all our crappy times. And I so need to hear that. I love Matt Theisson. He's my hero. His voice is just beautiful, like the words he writes. Anyways, everyone should go out and buy "Mmhhmm" and "Deck the Halls, Bruise Your Hand" because they ROCK!
GO RELIENT K!

Oh, Drama!

So tonight there were Drama auditions. Nobody came! Seriously, there were like me and 4 other girls and that was it. Lindsey was there. I love her, she's so talented and fun! And then all the Minnedosa crew, who I also love! LOL! And we hung out and talked, and I found out a person that everyone likes and thinks is hot that I don't like or think is hot...well they feel the same way as me about her! And it was funny, David and I talked about when we went out, lol, good times. It was fun, and I hope this is how Drama is, just our group. Because tonight was a sick amount of fun, again. I seem to have fountainous amounts of fun with those guys! The only bad thing is a girl who isn't worthy will most likely get the lead part, which is so typical Drama. I should really learn to just get over that. The weird thing is I don't want the lead. Like at all. I just wanna hang out downstairs with the crew. The Westman crew. And David and Trevor and I were talking and and David and I decided we were gonna do it as his house - as in hang out, you sick minded people! LOL! It should be fun, Trevor's got my number, so its gonna happen! I'm happy! And I have a huge headache so off I go to bed!
Oh crap I gotta print off that Outta Town thing first...

Churchy Weekend

Wow, I haven't posted in a while! Sorry! Anyways, nothing really interesting has happened. Well I guess Youth Group on Friday was awesome! We all went out to Baker's and played capture the flag in the dark in their bush. My team one! It was totally awesome, and my ex boyfriend was there, which is hilarious. He's not really a social setting kind of person, so I thought it was funny. Then we had hotdogs and cake and watched fireworks. It was FREEZING outside. But Kaitlan was huddling with me and we kept warm. Then we played dodge ball and that was it. But it was uber fun, and everyone was in a hugging mood, and I was too, so all was good. And Leanna hugged Henk, so she is therefore my hero! Ha ha. And then on Saturday Jodi, Ashley, Leanna and I (with Ireen) went to a Catholic church and taught their Sunday School kids some songs. I thought it went really well and it was fun because I was with them. When I got home Kristin and I watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. It was interesting. I thought it was good, and I loved her hair! Then today was church, and I cleaned my room. I should go do some math though. But I'm talking to Ashley on MSN and its really fun! But I should post this before it gets too long and stupid.
Byes!

If You're Not the One

by Daniel Bedingfield

If you’re not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you’re not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don’t need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don’t need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you’re not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you’re not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don’t know why you’re so far away
But I know that this much is trueWe’ll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I praying you’re the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

‘Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
‘Cause I love you, whether it’s wrong or right
And though I can’t be with you tonight
Know my heart is by your side

I don’t want to run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

Conflicted

I HATE THIS!
Why can't I ever just feel
Happy, or sad
Instead of both??
I mean I am SO HAPPY for Al
She and her boyfriend are disturbingly cute
But seeing pictures of them just
Makes me sad
I want that.
Where are all the good boys, anyway?
I mean why can't someone be happy to see me
And happy to be with me
Like that?
Arg, I'm going to bed.
Today sucks.

Another Blarging Day

Well, today was another AARRG day. It just wasn't the grandest day, and I am super tired. I actually almost cried. And I didn't get the job I wanted, and every class basically was torture. I mean bio and art just SUCK. Like hardcore suck. And I feel so rushed and over tired and over worked and it generally blows. Wow I'm in a complaining mood today! I guess jazz band was good today. And I am happy for Ashley. She's the greatest person, and I couldn't think of anyone who deserves that job more. And I got all my homework done. So yay me. Anyways, I guess I should go and call Cass. I haven't talked to Cass or Al in forever, and I feel kinda crappy about that. Especially Al. I at least talk to Cass on MSN, so I know most of the scoop. But I have no clue whats going on with Al. So yeah I should go call them. Later I guess.
P.S. I promise the mopey and irritating posts will stop soon.
P.P.S. I love CSI: Miami! They played the song "Get Low" in the opening!
P.P.P.S. I hate CSI: Miami! They killed Speed! I bawled the whole episode! I LOVE SPEED!

Happy Halloween (how original!)

Tonight, I feel very AAGHH! I feel really happy, and really sad at the same time. Tired, but like I never want to sleep again. I think its because when I sleep, I dream, and I always seem to wake up disappointed that what I thought just happened didn't. Does that make sense? I just feel sometimes like my life doesn't meet the expectations I have for it, which is stupid. I dunno. I just feel really AAGHH, and it sucks. I'm worried about something, even though I don't know what yet. That scares me a little. I hope whatever's worrying me doesn't jump out and slap me in the face.
I really should stop posting at night, they never make sense...