When I Go Down

I'll tell you flat out it hurts so much to think of this. So from my thoughts I will exclude the very thing that I hate more than anything is the way I'm powerless to dictate my own moods. I've thrown away so many things that could've been much more. And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored, but that's not the way it works. No that's not the way it works. When I go down, I go down hard. And I take everything I've learned and teach myself some disregard. When I go down, it hurts to hit the bottom. And of the things that got me there I think, "if only I had fought them." If and when I can clear myself of this clouded mind I'll watch myself settle down into a place where peace can search me out and find that I'm ready to be found. I've thrown away the hope I had in friendships. I've thrown away so many things that could have been much more. I've thrown away the secret to find the end of this. And I just pray my problems go away if they're ignored, but that's not the way it works. No that's not that way it works. Any control I thought I had just slipped through my hands while my ever-present conscience shakes its head and reprimands me, reprimands me. Then and there I confess I'll blame all this on my selfishness. Yet You love me, and that consumes me, and I'll stand up again - and do so willingly. You give me hope, and hope, it gives me life. You touch my heavy heart, and when you do it makes me light. As I exhale I hear your voice, and I answer you, though I hardly make a noize. And from my lips the words I choose to say seem pathetic, but it's a fallen man's praise. Because I love You. Oh God, I love You. And life is now worth living if only because of You. And when they say I'm dead and gone it won't be further from the truth. When I go down, I lift my eyes to You. I won't look very far cause You'll be there with open arms to lift me up again...to lift me up again.

Stuck In My Head

Here's the thing, we started out friends. It was cool, but it was all pretend. Yeah, yeah, since you been gone. Your dedicated, you took the time, wasn't long, til I called you mine. Yeah, yeah, since you been gone. And all you'd ever hear me say is how I pictured me with you. That's all you'd ever hear me say. But since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time. I'm so moving on, yeah yeah! Thanks to you now I get what I want, since you been gone. How can I put it? You put me on. I even fell for that stupid love song. Yeah, yeah, since you been gone. How come I'd never hear you say I just wanna be with you? Guess you never felt that way. But since you been gone, I can breathe for the first time. I'm so moving on. Yeah, yeah. Thanks to you now I get, I get what I want. Since you been gone...you had your chance, you blew it, out of sight, out of mind. Shut your mouth, I just can't take it again and again and again and again... Since you been gone I can breathe for the first time. I'm so moving on. Yeah, yeah. Thanks to you now I get, I get what I want. I can breathe for the first time, I'm so moving on, yeah yeah. Thanks to you now I get, you should know, that I get, I get what I want. Since you been gone...since you been gone. Since you been gone...

The One That Got Away

Ok, so these past two weeks have been insane. I haven't really been home for like the past five days. I went to Winnipeg to Festival Du Voyageur twice!!! It was totally awesome and fun and I love it there! Beaucoup de les mignons garçons! LOL I saw my future husband, he was this adorable dark haired guy who was the lead singer in a french band. He was so talented! And french! And didn't appear to have a girlfriend present! But yeah, I think we might have looked at each other once or twice (we had a moment!), but then they left and I never got to talk to him or find out his name or even the band's name! :( So yeah, it made me sad. I just chose to call him the one that got away...

Its My Birthday

I"M 18!!!

SCARY!!!!

So yeah, happy brithday to me, I think Brynne and I are gonna go see "Finding Neverland", so toodles!

My New Kitties!

Hey! I got kitties on Monday, they are so cute and cuddley and I love them! The one on the left is orange and his name is Mozart. The one on the right is named Melody. Mo is so dumb, he's a huge goof. Mel is cute and really shy, but I think she'll get used to us eventually. They are siblings and 7 months old right now, so they're so tiny! I love them, and I am so excited to have cats!

Stop! In the Name of WAD

Okay, so last night Brynne and I went to this family dance thing to watch WAD in Shoal Lake. It was AWESOME! Geordie and Eddie are discustingly talented. And Geordie is so my hero, I mean he's amazing at both the drums and the piano. Watching him play is amazing, I love watching people do what their passionate about and/or good at. Like seriously! After their first set Brynne and I went and sat with him because there was seriously no one else there our age. So we hung out with Geordie for like an hour. It was very funny, he was telling us stories he plans on telling magazines when he's famous! LOL I laughed! And about music and bands, like Default - turns out they're fans too! Whoo! Default power! Then it was midnight and Eddie's birthday so we went and yelled happy birthday at him. That was funny. The lead singer of the other band was really good! He sang happy birthday to Eddie and it was funny. He's only 15 now, but he's more talented than like 30 year olds out there now. He's like a next-generation Jimmy Hendrix! Seriously! Then WAD went back on and Brynne and I sat on the side, where we had a better view. They totally played a Default song! I was so excited and singing along. And at the end, I cheered - I was the only one however, much to my embarassment! But yeah, I shook it off, I mean anything in the name of Default, right? So yeah, the point of this story is that I was discustingly impressed, among other things, right Brynne? IT WAS SO COLD IN THERE! I thought I would die! I had my coat on the whole time, and yeah I was freezing! My toes froze. I got home and they were all white and I had to rub them for like 10 minutes before I went to bed. It was bad. And so I slept like a rock last night, I'm still tired, and yeah, thats my story. Go see WAD when you can people! Brynne and I are now gonna be groupies! LOL lata playas...