The List

ten things i want to do in my lifetime:
1. see Relient K in concert
2. fall in love and get married
3. become a youth pastor
4. have a family of my own
5. master the guitar
6. travel around Europe
7. start a band
8. write and publish a book
9. have blue hair
10. help lots of people find Jesus

nine things on my mind:
1. only 5 days until Africa!
2. I'm excited to have painted nails
3. Narnia...I'm always thinking about Narnia...
4. I miss Terrell
5. my nose is itchy
6. I wish I owned "Bewitched"
7. I eat too much chocolate
8. my hands are brown and sparkly - oops
9. how will I make everything fit in my bag?

eight songs i love:
1. Hide and Seek - Imogen Heap
2. Always - Hillsongs United
3. My Real Life - Amanda Stott
4. Standing in the Rain - Billy Talent
5. Banana Pancakes - Jack Johnson
6. All These Things I've Done - The Killers
7. Red Letters- DC Talk
8. Getting Scared - Imogen Heap

seven things i do almost every day:
1. complain
2. brush my hair
3. work out
4. miss people
5. eat a lot
6. laugh
7. say "Holy Crap"

six things (not people) i love:
1. rainbows
2. snuggling with my cats
3. getting e-mails
4. track jackets
5. dancing
6. playing the piano

five people i enjoy the company of: (not in any particular order)
1. Ashley
2. Terrell
3. Brynne
4. Caryn
5. Everyone who's reading this now...I LOVE YOU! I love too many people.

four most recent movies i’ve seen:
1. The Chronicles of Narnia
2. Fun with Dick and Jane
3. Batman Begins
4. Bewitched

three skills i have:
1. writing stuff
2. singing
3. being sympathetic - I cry when you do

two things i’d change about myself:
1. I would be happier with how I look
2. i would be less of an emotional headcase!

one bit of advice:
1. there's nothing better than a hug for no reason at all!

Cutest Snowman EVER!

Okay so I don't have too much energy to post...but here's a picture of the cutest thing I've ever seen!

P.S. I'm done both my assignments! HA HA HA!!

I Celebrate the Day

by Relient K

I realise I posted this last year, but its worth posting again. I hope you all have a safe and blessed Christmas, I love all you guys, and really remember why we celebrate today.

With this Christmas wish is missed

The point I could convey

If only I could find the words to say to let you know

How much you've touched my life because

Here is where you're finding me

In the exact same place as New Years Eve

And from the lack of my persistency

We're less than half as close as I wanna be

And the first time that you opened your eyes

Did you realize that you would be my Savior

And the first breath that left your lips

Did you know that it would change this world forever

And the first time that you opened your eyes

Did you realize that you would be my Savior

And the first breath that left your lips

Did you know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare

The things I've felt in prior years

To what this midnight made so clear

That you have come to meet me here

To look back and think that

This baby would one day save me

And the hope that, that you give

That you were born so I might really live

To look back and think that

This baby would one day save me…

And the first time that you opened your eyes

Did you realize that you would be my Savior

And the first breath that left your lips

Did you know that it would change this world forever

And the first time that you opened your eyes

Did you realize that you would be my Savior

And the first breath that left your lips

Did you know that it would change this world forever

And I celebrate the day

That you were born to die

So I could one day

Pray for you to save my life

Pray for you to save my life

Pray for you to save my life.

Best Day EVER!

Ok, so yesterday was like the best day ever. I had so much fun, but now am so tired. It was sweet. I invited people over for a movie night, and they all ended up spending the night because of the crappy road conditions. Scott came over for a bit which was exciting because I haven't seen him in a long time!
Well the best part of the entire day was when TERRELL CALLED ME! Seriously, made like my week, I was so happy! Plus we talked for like 74 minutes...yeah it was amazing to hear from him! :)
Ok so Ashley and Curtis arrived, and then Kaitlan and Brynne. So we snuck into the school and scared the little kids by throwing a ball in the gym...ha ha that was fun. Then we went and found Brad, and Kaitlan gave him his Christmas gift. We invited him over after cadets was finished. Then we watched Codie get his truck hopelessly stuck in the ditch. Then we headed back to my house, where Henk was waiting - in his yellow shirt! That truely made my joy complete!
So we watched Weekend at Bernies, which is pretty much the funniest movie ever. Brad showed up. Then we watched The Odd Couple 2, which we mostly talked through. I checked my e-mail and Caryn sent me the best e-mail ever! It made like my entire day! Yeah, it was amazing, I really love that girl.
So after the movie Curtis and I started throwing orange peels at each other. He was behind the loveseat and I was in front of the Christmas tree, and we pelted each other with peels for like half an hour! It was hilarious! My aim was good, but my consistancy was terrible! It was funny, I hit him square in the face so many times. I was like crying I was laughing so hard! That was like the funniest 30 minutes of my life.
Then we decided to go for a walk. So Brynne, Henk, Curtis and I head out to walk the streets at like 2:00 am. We walked everywhere, the streets were completely dead. We even stood in the middle of the highway for like 10 minutes, and it was dead. So we walked around and told freaky stories and decided to walk to the graveyard, which is across the highway by the school. So we went out there and it was really dark. We were walking through really deep snow, and then we hit this super deep snow drift. Curtis teetered, and then fell on me, who fell on Brynne, and we were stuck in this huge snow bank! I couldn't stop laughing, and I also couldn't get up. Henk had to pull us up. So we trudged on, and got back by the school. Then we saw this huge drift, and we all ran and jumped in it. We did that for so long, and took all these dumb pictures. We just layed in the snow for a crazy long time. I was freezing by the time we stood up and walked back to my house.
We got back to my house around 4:30, and Ashley was sleeping. They had watched Liar Liar when we were gone. Then we all put on dry pants and watched a TV Evangalist on mute, with me doing narration. He had a huge head! Goodness. Then Curtis and Kaitlan tickled me until I thought I would die. I also ate a sick amount of chips. But yeah, around 7:00 we decided to get some sleep. I woke up at 10:00 today. Crap I'm tired, so off I go to have a nap. We were gonna go to see Narnia today, but the roads are too icey.
So yeah, that was a ridiculously good time, I am so content with how that went. Here's a pic of some snowy craziness for your enjoyment. :)

Joy to the World!

So today has been cool...church in the am, and guess who was there?? HENK! Whoo! Made my whole day, seeing that kid! And he seemed pretty pumped to see me as well, which made it even better. He looks great! And yeah, it was amazing to see him, and he's coming over this week, I am so excited! Man I missed that guy!
Then I went to Baba's and decorated cookies with the sibs. Thats sweet, I mean thats a tradition that we've done since I was like, two years old. I love that we still do that. It was fun, and very messy (I dropped an iced cookie on myself, it was all over me!). And we had supper there as well.
Then we had the carol service at church...lets not talk about it...and the fellowship after it was thoroughly enjoyable! I talked with Matthew, and sang in Ukranian with Kristin, oh what a time! Plus Kaitlan gave me her vest ("I saw Elizabeth..." lol) which is brilliant! I am so happy and wearing it as we speak. After chatting with them (and Henk again!) I went home, we put on some carols and finished decorating the Christmas tree! That was fun, I love that part about Christmas because each ornament has a memory and we have a few good laughs every year.
Then - now this is the important part - I talked to my uncle on the phone, and guess what? HE'S GETTING ME A GUITAR! That's right, ladies and gents, by December 25 I should have my very own acoustic guitar! Yay! I am so beyond pumped right now! I'm going to pay him back, but STILL! And he said that his friend as the music store likes to swing him some pretty sweet deals...
So yup, thats pretty much that, sorry this is so poorly written. My journalism skills have completely dissappeared. How sad. Like my cheesey Christmas title? Love it! Laters.

You Are So Good to Me

Okay, I just wanted to post to say GOD IS SO GOOD. Like, amazing! Okay, firstly, I bought this amazing Worship CD (WOW Worship) and it has all these songs that we sing on Outtatown but not at my church, so I was extremely happy about that and have listened to it non-stop.
Also, I've been Christmas shopping the past two days, and managed to finish, hardly spending any money at all. It was amazing. I usually debate and deliberate over what to get people, and it was all there for me. It made it so unstressful and fun.
Then today, I dunno, I've been working out and eating well and stuff, trying to slim down a bit before Africa (for myself) and then today we ate out for lunch, I bought a chocolate bar and ate cake and cookies after supper! I just feel like the past week has been wasted! So I was sitting at the computer, moping because my arm hurts too much to work out (stupid Twinrix) and I came online to see 4, count 'em FOUR e-mails from my Outtatown friends for me. And they made my entire day and put me in a very thankful and happy mood. Happy to be alive, thankful for having people like them in my life. Wow, I love you guys, you don't even know how much. I just praise God for you.

You are so good to me, You heal my broken heart, You are my Father in Heaven...

P.S. I saw Aaron in the mall last night!! I haven't seen him since like, April, and he gave me the longest hug ever and it was SO GOOD to talk to him! Man I forgot how much that kid rocks!

Yay Pictures!

So I thought I should post some pictures from the past three months...
Firstly, here is what I look like now. Thats right, ladies and gents, black hair!




And here is a picture of me, Mae and Terrell after climbing Mount Hope. I love those two, we are like the three amigos. We're loud enough ourselves but together? Oh yes. Loudness at its best.

Overwhelmed!

Man I love going on MSN now - I am like overwhelmed by 8 conversations right from the get go! Immediately like all these people are like "JANNA!!!!" and I feel so loved! Man I love it, I've become an MSN addict lately. I used to go on like never and now, all the time. Wow I've said like so many times its ridic!
Its weird, I always dread working out until I actually do it. Then it feels great! Why was I not doing this earlier? I think its good that I keep adjusting it to fit me, ex: its easier for me to do 4 reps of 15 than 3 of 20. Plus it makes me tired so I have to go to bed earlier and sleep alot sounder. And thats hard to do because I'm used to falling asleep listening to 11 other girls breathing/talking/snoring in their sleep. Man I loved that - our cabin was SWEET!
So I love getting e-mails so keep e-mailing me, people! Allison Enns e-mailed me and I was so excited! It made me very happy. I need to reply back tho. Don't worry Als, I love you even though I procrastinate! And talking to Alysha last night was very exciting...and Jenn and Kirsten tonight! Yay! I love it!
Crap I really gotta read Kaffir Boy; I just don't like reading it before bed because its so upsetting and disturbing! But I need to get on that. If only I had the questions for it so I could do it *cough MARCUS! cough*.
Today was a good day because I watched Oprah. She is my hero. :)
Sorry all my posts suck but I am so tired right now! I'll try to post some pictures tomorrow!

First Evening Alone!

Well hello again. Last night was the Christmas Banquet thing. It was pretty fun, I got to talk with Kaitlan, Leanna and Ashley about their boy situations. That was sweet! But yeah, I found it tiring and was ready to go home about an hour before I did. But Curtis took me for a ride in his Mustang! It was sweet! I missed hanging out with that kid, he never stops making me laugh! Like writing Codie Smells in shaving cream on his truck - so funny! I laughed.
Saturday...what have I done today? Gone on MSN (yay people were on!) and watched curling with Dad (I wanted Scott to win) and yeah, thats pretty much it. I should really be reading Kaffir Boy. I think I'll do that later, I want to get all my assignments done this week so I don't have to worry about it. Yeah Ash and I have got to get together and do the church assignment so I can be done with that.
Mom and Dad went to another banquet tonight which was sweet because then I got to be alone for the first time in 3 months! I didn't even do anything interesting. I went online for a bit, worked out, took a super long shower while singing along loudly to Clay Aiken's Christmas CD and just had eaten a piece of cake when they came back in with Art and Tammy. So we visited, I ate a Christmas orange, watched a bit of the Grinch and they left. Then I called Brynne, which was sweet! We talked for like an hour and a half. And here I am.
So this is the exciting of life of Janna Bryce, really a life worth posting about.

Life...what is that anyways?

So here I am, back at home...I was just looking at the title of my blog and thinking, what the heck? I mean, life as I know it really doesn't mean anything to anyone at all. Because the life I've lived for the past three months has been so surreal and unordinary that I can't image it applying to anyone but myself. Who has a life like mine? Well, 37 other people, but thats out of how many in the world? Goodness.
Well that was by far one of the dumbest things I've written. But I'm tired and sad and disoriented. Being at home is weird - it feels normal but not because no one else from Outtatown is here. I really miss everyone, and its only been one day! How stupid is that? Plus none of my clothes from home fit me...well I've only worn sweatpants since I got home in fear of that. How depressing. But it was sad to leave everyone yesterday, I bawled when Caryn left, and hugging Dave was sad too. And then like 45 min into the ride home I'm like "I miss Terrell" and Ashley says to me "You are SCREWED." And I was like, pretty much! I've decided that everytime I miss someone I'm going to pray for them. So I have prayed for many people in the last 24 hours. Some people more than once.
What have I done since I got home...well I slept (amazing!) and today I showed mom and dad all my pictures and explained who everyone was and what were doing at the time. They must have been crazy bored, it took like 2 hours. Then I showered (so nice!) and grandma came over, so I entertained her for an hour, then went upstairs to lay down because of a super huge headache that had taken over my brain. So I ended up falling asleep around 8:30 and woke up at like 2:30. So I put in my retainers and headed back to bed. Mel and Mo slept with me! It was sweet! But yeah I should go to Ashley's now, we gotta write our speech for the Youth Group Christmas Banquet tonight.
Any Outtatown people reading this: I MISS YOU LIKE A TOOL!!

I'm going to AFRICA!

Hey guys! Whats happening? Today we got back from Victoria, it was sweet. Most of the week was focased on our upcoming trip to South Africa! This guy from Zimbabway talked to us about its history and what to expect and stuff like that. It was neat. Then we had a meeting tonight, and we watched the video of last year's site's trip to SA. Ashley says hi. It was AMAZING! It became so much more real to me, that I'm going there to see giraffs and hold little black babies. It was phenominal, I almost cried through the whole video. The black people singing, the harmony! Oh it was FANTASTIC! I am so beyond pumped (and completely frightened) to go. I know already though, that I am completely going to fall in love with Africa, and every single child and person there, and that totally scares me. The thing that frightens me the most is coming home after Africa. I know I am going to be in the biggest funk of my life and that freaks me out. I just hope that I can take this whole thing one step at a time and enjoy every individual day. I'm also concerned about packing...Marcus said last year he didn't take hiking boots! I was like, why spend $160 on boots that I'll hardly wear? So dumb. That was frustrating. And hey, we get to learn to Gumboot dance, and it looks like so much fun! I'm super pumped. There is so much that we'll learn and get to do! I can hardly even wrap my mind around it. I am just so completely excited that I had to e-mail you as soon as the meeting was over. WOW! I'm going to Africa!! I can't believe it! This is intense!
In other news, all the boys here are shaving their heads. They feel so soft, everyone keeps rubbing their heads. Zach just shaved his, and its the softest thing I've ever felt. My black is fading but my hair still looks black. I'll send a pic home of it when I can. I really like it! Anyhoo, on Saturday night we went to a U of Vic basketball game and guess who they played? Brandon Bobcats!! It was insane! And they played really well too! I was like, small freaking world, eh? So that was cool, and at half time, they had Gumboot dancers! It was so cool! I was like, we were meant to be at this game! It was just crazy! Anyways, that was neat. We also went to a Rememberance Day Service at Royal Roads University (where they are filming X-Men 3!!) and it was beautiful, outdoors, and pouring rain. We got pretty wet (well my upper half was dry due to my rain coat) but it was nice and the trumpet player was amazing.
Well Mike wants on the computer so I should go. We have a free morning tomorrow which is sweet because I slept horribly at the hotel. So that will be nice, and we have class in the afternoon. Well I'd better go, I love you guys!

P.S. Henk e-mailed me! He's doing good and loving school!
P.P.S. Hey Jordan, I just bought a Jackson 5 Christmas CD and that its AMAZING!
P.P.P.S. Alysha (this totally fun girl who reminds me of KB) and Larissa (I love her) read mom's letters for me and they're both like, "I love your mom! I feel like I know her already!" It was cute! And I shared my Craisins, they were a big hit. Plus I invited all the Winnipeg to come out for a weekend some time after Outtatown is all said and done. They are super pumped to go to Hal's! :)

Wow...its been awhile

Hey everyone! Sorry its taken so long to post! I've been swamped and crazy busy! But here I am at the Blue Moose in Hope, BC with Allison and Alysha. I finally feel like I have enough time to talk about stuff going on here. We have a free weekend coming up, tomorrow we're all going into Chilliwack to buy Halloween costumes at Value Village. It should be fun, I have no idea what to be though. Anyhoo, I also have a book report due on "Can You Hear Me". Its all about hearing God, which I finally feel like I can do. This week has been amazing. We got into our small groups and laid hands on each other and prayed for one another. It was such a blessing! I was moved, and bawling, and I almost fell down once. Everything they said was an answer to the prayers I've been praying for the last 2 weeks. And I felt so loved, just by them having their hands on me and praying for me, it was a huge bonding moment. And last night, WOW! We hiked in the tunnels, and when we got back the boys had decorated the dining hall and planned this beautiful banquet supper for us. They served us and had cards and flowers for each of us. There were candles and some of the boys played guitar. Man it was beautiful and amazing. Joshua had also made a slideshow and it had all these pictures of us, and at the end of the night we had a hugging line! The best part was that the boys were all dressed up in ties and with gelled hair. Man that was awesome, they looked so beautiful and I was wearing like a hoodie. Man. Now I'm here and this is incredible. Sorry I can't write much more, I'm going to try my hardest to post more often. This is an amazing experience, I am SO BLESSED to be here!! I love and miss you all, you are in my prayers!!
P.S. The time is BC time.

First Day at Outtatown!

Oh my gosh, what a whirlwind of a day! Got to Winnipeg by 11:30, ate at Mickey D's and got to campus by 12:20. Ash and I were first to register and got our student loans figured out. Then we waited outside for the group photo, which was fun. I had an individual photo, worshiped with every other site (1 & 2) and then headed out to the lawn. Ash and I met Carmyn and said goodbye to our families before jumping in the van. The van ride here was so much fun, Ash and I were in a van full of fun people. There's this guy named Zack who's really funny and great at breaking ice. We sang Black Eyed Peas and Blink 182 on the way here. Then there's this funny girl named Sarah who totally has no fear of talking to new people. I sat with her and Zack, Ash, Carmyn and Leanne at supper and we talked about scars and times we've wounded ourselves. It was totally hilarious and totally fun! After supper we played games outside, just silly fun stuff (most people got winded really easily and we decided to call it "Outtashape" instead of Outtatown). It was fun, but the bugs got bad so we went inside and sat in circle and introduced ourselves to eachother, it was cool. I'm sharing a room with a girl named Alison, and sharing a bathroom with Mae, Nashley, and Janice. They're nice, Nashley is cool and she worked at Madge Lake Bible camp where Cass used to go! I'm having so much fun, the people here are awesome! I'll write a better post later, but its snack time (by the way supper was totally good). Tomorrow breakfast is at 8:30 and classes at 9:00. We have our first speaker tomorrow! I'm excited! We also have "alone time" which will be cool, its just time to spend alone with God. I'm totally pumped. The site leaders rock, I love Charlene (who's like 4'9") and just meeting all these new people! Anyhoo, I'd better go, I love you all!!!!
Love,
Janna :)

What if I Stumble?

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road You've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling
What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
I hear You whispering my name
You say "My love for You will never change"
Never change
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God
Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

Happy 100th post to me! :)

Red Eye (dun dun DUH)

Okay so last night Brynne and I has a crazy fun Gremlin trip to Bdn and saw Red Eye. It was totally enjoyable! The beginning was a bit draggy, because it relied to much on silly dialogue, but once they started beating the crap out of each other it got totally better! Seriously, that movie should be used for a self-defence class. I never knew that pens in the throat and stilletos in the thigh could be so lethal! Same with a cheerleading baton! She kicks his butt for like 30 minutes, and when he finally manages to catch her, she says to him, "you are so pathetic." HA! So true! I mean his butt gets kicked by a 5'5", 118 pound girl! And her hair looks beautiful the entire movie, even after being thrown down a flight of stairs. She rocks, I love Rachel McAdams! No matter what color her hair is, she looks stunning. And she's a convincing cryer. Anyhoo, so then we went to Walmart and I bought lipgloss called "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" and Brynne's was called "Rich and Famous" so we started coming up with guy's names who fit the titles. I had Ewan McGregor and Clive Owen, she had Kalan Porter and seriously just about any celebrity ever, lol. I think we should share Johnny Depp. I giggled. Then we went to Dairy Queen and headed for home just talking and chilling out. I totally missed that, we haven't done that in SO long! And I missed that and it so won't happen again until like CHRISTMAS. So freaking weird, I mean we're like attached at the hip and now we're separated until December. So weird. I can't believe she's leaving and I'm leaving and that we're all being separated. Yikes. I don't like it. Well I want to go watch Untamed Heart and have a good cry. Love you guys!

Canadian Idol - Week 6

After missing last week’s performances, I was thrilled to see my first live show because I’M DONE WORK, SUCKERS! Ha! Anyhoo, I finally got to watch it at 7:00, so that was nice.
Yay! Props to CI for bringing us the Guess Who week! So Zack started off the evening by playing guitar, which was entertaining, I guess. Really he just couldn’t stand being outdone by Josh last week. Anyways, Ben Mulroney is HOT! Holy crap! Sass’ shirt is appalling, not even a young girl should wear that, let alone Sass Jordan. I love Rex and his awesome accent. What an adorable boy.
He started the show singing “No Sugar Tonight”. Rex is so cute, I totally enjoyed it! He looked beautiful! And he was hurt, but he still sang amazingly and I loved it. Casey was almost overpowered by my father singing along, but from what I heard she was good! She looked amazing! And she sounded like the old Casey that I got to love, so I’m glad she’s back! Suzie tried to spin her way out of another boring performance. She sang a good song, but once again in the exact same style she always does. And mostly all she did was stomp around…meh I think she’ll be in the bottom. Melissa was DULL, and every line of the song ended in “eeee” which got really annoying, especially because it was sung on a flat awful note. She was B-A-D BAD and I agree with Zack finally, that her outfit etc was awful. Yikes! Okay, Aaron rocks! He just had to sing “These Eyes” it was so perfect for him and he did a really good, relatively un-cheesey performance. He deserved the standing O that Farley gave him. I was happy.
So…the bottom three is: Suzie, Melissa, and Rex (although I really hope Rex is safe) and MELISSA GOES. Because she is the only logical person to go! If she doesn't, I give up.

Word Vomit

So I'm at work right now...geez its freezing in here. And my ears keep clicking. Perhaps the meds are finally working. For the past few days I've felt like I have tinitus, hearing an electrical whirring all the time. It was weird, I could hear it over my own whisper. Now they are clicking away, making whooshing sounds like they do after you go swimming and your ears are all full of water. Good ole ear infection. I miss my scarf. It kept me toasty warm and now I’m just like freezing my butt off. It was just cozy and comforting. I hope Baba brings me something nice and hot for supper. Like a baked potato with sour cream. And soup, that stuff she brought me before. Supper should be here soon, like in the next half hour because Baba likes to feed me at like 4:00 in the afternoon. I miss Brynne. We haven’t hung out in ever. We should get together and rent “A Lot Like Love’, I wanna see it. Even though it has Ashton Kutcher in it. I actually enjoy Punked, its some stupid garbage but it is so much fun to watch people like Eva Longoria and Mario freaking out or weeping because they got arrested or had am old lady accuse them of looking at her breasteses. Ha ha! Know what movie I want to see again? Mod Squad. Totally enjoyable, the best part of the movie is Claire Danes’ hair, so pretty and fun and it never looks bad, ever. That’s kind of irritating. Like me missing all this season of the OC! And Lost too. I’m saddened, I mean how will I know what happened to Marissa after she shot Trey? Is Ryan mad? Is Kirsten sober? Is Sandy still wonderful? Please tell me Seth and Summer and good and going strong and that Zach is gone and that annoying girl Jess is gone too. And in Lost, who are the others? Is that kid still alive? Does bimbo still love brown man? When will Kate and Dr. Wonderful get together? Will the adorable Chinese couple re-unite? Is Charlie going to use the drugs they found on the plane? Will angry bald man lose his ability to walk? You can tell I’m rusty already because I forget all their names. Sadness. Brat Camp is almost over, and I’m beginning to mourn already. The opening to that show is so spectacularly amazing that I want to like eat it. Everyone on earth should be jealous that they didn’t create it, I mean the pictures, words, and music are all just like perfect and amazing and inspired. I love it. And Isaiah’s hair, and the name Isaiah. And Shawn’s stoner voice, I love it. He almost cried and I got emotional. I could really go on forever about Brat Camp, so I should stop now. I wonder if I can e-mail CTV and buy a copy of the season? I’d do it too. I am so cold I could die. I am so pining for my scarf right now. Ah I want to go home and watch old episodes of the OC that I taped. Four more hours of work. You people should watch SYTYCD because its fun and the dancing is great. Jonnis is amazing and Canadian, he does all this exciting clowning stuff. It was a fun time anyhoo. All hearing has gone out of my right ear. Its weird and annoying. Brynne brought me a scarf, its warm and crazy long! I love the Killers new song. Two more hours of work. Label makers are so addicting! I want to go home and watch the Notebook and Untamed Heart. Both of those movies are upsetting and moving. Baba gave me chocolate cake stuff and its thrilling. This sucks I am so done with work and I want to go home! I’m going to go to the bathroom as soon as the Killers song finishes (it came on right after I typed that I love it. Uncanny or what?). “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” Well now I only have one hour of work left, so I have to shut down the computer and cover it up for another year. Toodles! Thanks for coming out.

Crying a River

This is a sad sad day. I hate crying before I go to bed! I know it takes a really small and pathetic person to get so over-emotional and stupid over TV shows, but come on, even you were sad when Speed was killed on CSI: Miami, right? Was that just me? So I am sad because two of my favorite people were removed forever from my television tonight, and I've grown quite attatched to them, so I am mourning the loss.
Nick was like my favorite kid on Brat Camp, the most addicting and emotional show to ever grace my living room. Seriously! He's this little troubled guy with dyslexia who is 14 and can't read or tell you what 15 divided by 3 is, but he's so endearing and sweet that you just want to cry and embrace him. Which I did - well the crying part at least. He was a good boy who changed and promised not to try to kill his brother anymore and he left Sagewalk and went home tonight, away from my TV for always. I'm saddened. At least Shawn is still around - he makes me emotional too, when Mother Raven almost wept and touched his head...sigh. I will truely weep when he is gone for good.
I can't believe Josh was kicked off Canadian Idol! I miss a week and look what happened!! I mean Daryl going last week was crazy, but this is ridiculous. I just sat on my couch and bawled, what a man, what a genius, what a presence, what a talent, what an individual, what an OUTRAGE that those three girls beat him! He's such a lovely man, such a lovely spirit, he's better off without idol, but now I can't watch him every week. Everyone go to idol's official site and watch the video of him singing "In the Air Tonight", it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I just bawled. A crime, really.
So thats pretty much it for my rant. I only have 2 more days of work and like 2 weeks until Outtatown. I am going to wet myself I am so frightened!!!

I Love Qass

This is me and my beautiful friend Cassie at Joey's Only. I really miss her. Knowing Cassie is like knowing the person that you wish you were, you know? She's one of those people who makes you a better person just for hanging around her. She loves everybody genuinely because she sees us all as siblings in Christ and in return everyone loves her. I think I love her the most.
I miss her today.

I Heart VBS

Okay, so this week is VBS, and I am crazy busy, going to the church to prepare in the am, VBS from 1:00 - 3:30, and then working from 4:00 - 8:00. Crazy. But seriously, one hug from an adorable child makes it all worth it. I love those kids. This one kid, named Cory, looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid, just sweet and innocent. And these kids are SMART. They are so much fun, and maybe I'm jynxing myself by saying this on day 2, but they're pretty well behaved. I love it, and this is the first year that I've taught VBS where I feel like I'm doing it right, like I feel that God is giving me the right words to say to these kids. Its making me crazy excited to go to Africa and embrace and love and witness to beautiful African children. I am SO pumped, because this year's VBS is giving me all this experience. I actually might cry on the last day, I'm so thankful for all these kids and their willingness to learn about God. VBS is an amazing experience that I won't forget. Plus I get to do it with Curtis, and hanging out has been so much fun, with too many laughs to count (spitting ice cream, Mr. Doolots, juice powder, glittery signs, Chinese Codie, silly kid jokes), staying up way to late to get ready, He's just the best, and we could not do it without Kate. Thank God for Kate, our extra hand and voice of reason. AH it just rocks I am having so much fun! Thats pretty much it. :)

Canadian Idol - Week 4

Ok, its Big Band week on CI, which is odd because its usually one of the last themes. Oh well, lets see what our idols can do!
Suzi Rawn opened the show singing this song we listened to in Jazz Band. It sounded nothing like it. I must agree with my brother when he said during her performance, "some people just shouldn't try singing" because he hit the nail on the head. She suits the jazz stuff I guess, but it was very lounge singer-esque and mostly was sung by the crowd. Meh. Aaron's dancing was adorable!! This was his thing, he did it and it was great! Farley was finally like, "just embrace who you are!" and I agree. Good for Aaron, he should be proud of his ability. The worst performance of the night was by Melissa, singing "De-Lovely". It was more like "De-AWFUL" and "De-id not hit a note". It was awful, our judges don't even listen anymore. They just say what they want. Talk her up all you want, you did the same thing to Elena and she was eliminated pretty fast. I WANT TO MARRY JOSH. He shaved, pushed back his hair and looked so beautiful I wanted to explode. There is no reason why he shouldn't win. Can I marry him please? Wow, it was almost a religious experience. It was....wow. Wow wow WOW. The next best performance was by none other than Rex Goudy. He was simply amazing. Holy mother, I love him, he's so beautiful and real and emotional and honest and wow. Holy cleavage Casey! Thats not how I like to see my nice little girl. Her voice hardcore broke and she was boring as per usual. Daryl is the cutest guy ever. I mean dang, this kid can SING. My gosh! I want to hug him, the judges were unreasonably mean to him. LIKE SO MEAN. Evil Jake! And like you can talk Farley, in your ugly nasty old lady Easter hat. Yuck. They just jealous that he is so much better than Melissa and Suzi combined. Wow, thats actually a bad mental image.
Some other things to note - Zach actually dressed well tonight! Farley's hat is hideous. The band is AMAZING. And lastly, Ben Mulroney is the tallest person alive. He towers above everyone. Thought he looked ready to work the cruise ship, I still love him.
So...the bottom three is: Casey, Melissa, and Suzi (if Daryl, Josh, Rex or Aaron are in the bottom 3 heads will roll). And MELISSA GOES. Man I hope so!

BOO CANADA!!!

I can't BELIEVE that Amber got kicked off!!! What is wrong with Canada? YUCK YUCK YUCK! I want to throw something...
This is awful....its exactly like eliminating Kalan Porter third and leaving Manoah behind. Vomit. Filth. Yuck. I cannot find anything to say that is pleasant.
I dunno, if Zach doesn't give her a record deal....
I AM ANGRY. If I was one of those Brat Camp kids this post would be very different. Speaking of that show, it puts me in the hugest funk ever. I am currently angry to be a citizen of Canada. I feel like I am surrounded by clueless people. Have we turned into the US, where we choose Ruben over Clay? Vonzell over Nikko? A pretty face over any pinch of talent? I am disgusted by this choice, and will continue to be so.
This is depressing, Canadian Idol was so much better last year with Kalan, Josh, Shane, you know, people with talent. I guess now I'm pulling for Daryl. And Josh (who was in the bottom two - ridiculous!), a musical genious. Whatever, it obviously doesn't matter who has talent anymore.

Janna: Boo! Boo! Boo!
Canadian Public: Why do you do this?
Janna: Because you had talent in your hands, and you gave it up!
Canadian Public: But they would have eliminated Suzi if we hadn't done it.
Janna: Your next Canadian Idol was there. And you chose another. Amber saved you in the Top 10, and you treated her like garbage. And that's what you are, the Country of Refuse. So cheer her on now if you want, cheer to her. Cheer on, Country of Slime, Country of Filth, Country of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo! Boo! Boo!

(Special thanks to the Princess Bride for the script.)

Canadian Idol - Week 3

Okay, so here I am for another night of Idol fun! It was 80’s week. Yeah I know, my favorite era of music. I was soooo excited about it too (note the sarcasm).
First of all, I love to say how happy I am to see Zack humiliated on national TV. Playing a clip of his old rock band…priceless. His hair was hilarious.
Anyhoo, Amber started the show. It was alright. I mean, sung well, but just…meh. I wanted chills and I just didn’t get them. Rex was next, and he looked splendid as usual. He was good, I mean I enjoyed it. He sang it like Rex. Ok, when Byrd says that you sang ‘okay’ and you’re about to perform in front of Canada…that’s the kiss of death. This is what was said to Casey in her pre-song clip. I think anyone who thinks that was good has gym socks in their ears. Sass only liked it because they shared the same hair style and color of extensions. Daryl may be odd, but he is amazing!!! He was completely awesome tonight, singing ‘Tainted Love’ which is one of my favorites. That kid rocks. What up with Suzi’s scary dancing? She must’ve read my review last week and tried not to spin or sing like Pee Wee, and somehow it was 10 times worse. She looked hot, but sounded completely hideous. Wow. Aaron is amazing for having a faux hawk! He did so good! I am happy that Jake yelled at Zack (by the way Zack, the show is NOT about you so get over yourself). JOSH WAS AMAZING. OH MY GOSH WHAT TO EVEN SAY. INEXPLICABLE. FRESH! EXCITING! Ha ha ha. He was brilliant. I thought Melissa was about to pole dance the way she kept carrying her mike stand around for no reason. ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ is a great song, but it was not sung great at all. She can leave at any time and I’ll be glad.
Sooo…I survived 80’s week. Everyone should be proud, especially Brynne.
Down to business: the bottom three – Casey, Suzi, Melissa. This is a toss up between Suzi and Casey, but I guess I have to decide. CASEY GOES.
Note: Due to Ashley's elimination, I'd like to offer a big fat congrats to Suzi Rawn, Canada's first Pee Wee Idol!!

Canadian Idol - Week 2

Okay, so last week I was off a bit on the bottom three, but Emily was eliminated, as I predicted. Whoo! So here I am again to dis…I mean, to critique tonight’s performances.
Casey started the show off with a yawn, singing pretty well, but just not great. That’s the weird thing with her – she’s good but just not good enough. She’s too cute though. Next was Josh, who just did what he does. It was funny, I enjoyed the dancing. He really needs to shave, though. Ashley attempted to growl her way through a song and hide her missed notes (as in all of them) by spinning the entire performance. Hey, the Pee Wee-ness seems to work for Suzi. Didn’t work so well for her though. Of course the judges loved it, I mean she’s got a meaner growl than Sass Jordan, so she was probably feeling intimidated. Daryl decided to act like a star and walked out confidently, not like he was about to dodge tomatoes. He was awesome! He sang so well and loosened up a lot, I feel so proud of him! Plus he sang “Superstition” which is always a good time. I know I said it last week, but I’ll say it again: I. LOVE. REX. That’s pretty much all there is to it, he sang like a cool tough guy. I had no idea that the song “Gansta’s Paradise” sampled a Stevie Wonder song! I know I’m slightly biased, because she was born in Manitoba, but Amber is so wonderful, its getting to the point that I just have to look at her and get chills. She should win, I really want her up there. Brilliant. Ooh, and I lose all respect for Melissa but brutalizing the song that she sang tonight. It was putridly awful. She can’t hold on much longer. Aaron did so well. The thing that’s different about him in comparison to most of the other competitors is that he does the same stuff they do, only he actually hits the notes. He’s got some mad talent. Suzi continues to compete for Pee Wee Idol this week, singing that song from “Center Stage”. She copies Ashley and tries spinning to hide her bad notes. Perhaps all the competitors should start spinning, the judges really seem to like that.
It was all around a pretty enjoyable show, with all the people I like doing well, and all the people I don’t doing whatever it is they do.
The bottom three? Melissa, Ashley, Casey. AND ASHLEY GOES.

P.S. Hey if she leaves then Suzi can officially be crowned the winner of the first Pee Wee Idol!

To Avoid Being Tarred and Feathered...

I've decided to post my Canadian Idol rantings on my site, instead of on their website where I will be beaten and hated by every Idol fan in Canada.
So...last night was the first night of the top 10. I wasn't expecting much, because Canada has promptly turned into the USA by voting all these talentless girls in based on looks instead of singing ability. I wasn't expecting much, and I didn't get much.
Aaron was first, and he was okay I guess, kinda fun, but ultimately forgettable. Emily was next. This girl is BAD, as in TERRIBLE and completely TALENTLESS. Like she is horrendously awful, and I am offended that she was voted in above Vince and Josh. Oh it just makes me sick. She thinks she's miss Teen Canada and she needs a strong kick in the teeth to convince her otherwise. I'd just like to thank Farely for his comments and Zach as well who called her a pageant singer. Daryl was next, my boy Daryl, who was so scared I thought he was going to die right there on stage. He was possibly frightened by Sass' boob exposure! Poor kid, he'll improve with time. That kid can sing though. Even Baba told me he had good tone. Suzi was next - and I'll admit it early, that I cannot stand her. The mere sight of her unclean hair and the way she sings! Man! What is this, Pee Wee Herman Idol?!? And she was bad, every big note she reached for or run she sang was just off and terrible. Even Kristin, who likes her, said she was bad. So thats that. Melissa gets some points because I liked her bio. She seems like a cool chick and I love seeing her in shorts, playing basketball and being normal. She sang pretty good too I guess. Ashley is competing in the Pee Wee Idol competition as well, I see. Her song was "near flawless" because it consisted of five notes and takes no skill whatsoever to sing. I loved her brother crying and saying "this is like Oprah - they make you cry!" That was awesome. Rex....Rex....I LOVE REX. This boy can really do no wrong, in my mind. I love his accent and his reference to the Loreal Girls. What a nice boy. Amber is AMAZING. She looked beautiful and I had chills the entire song, I was seriously freezing afterwards. When Zack called her voice holy, he's pretty close. Josh was incredible, that boy is OFF THE HOOK. Just amazing. Too good for the show and wonderful. Plus his guitar room is pink, how amazing is that? Casey was cute, she's so adorable and I feel bad for her because her song was so rushed.
So, what's my prediction for tonights bottom 3? Emily, Aaron, Casey - AND EMILY GOES. She MUST go...

I Am Understood?

Okay, I'm gonna steal some of Cassie's words when she said, "what the dog is up with blindside that, like, influences me so deeply?" Because I feel the EXACT same way about Relient K. Their songs never cease to amaze, move and bless me so much that I can't even describe it. Jesus is so present in their lives. Last night I was listening to "Two Lefts Don't Make a Right, But Three Do" and I had to stop and write down what I felt. I was like, Matt Theisson is AMAZING. I mean I've never met him or anything, but it feels like he just gets me and writes songs that say what I'm thinking and feel but could never write. Its like we're so on the same track, and he's so amazing because he shares all these personal conversations with God and records them. Wow, they are so amazing. Here's a song that blesses my life, I hope it blesses yours.

sometimes it's embarassing to talk to you
to hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
this version of myself i try to hide behind
i'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified
and sometimes i'm so thankful for your loyalty
your love regardless of the mistakes i make will spoil me
my confidence is in a sence, a gift you've given me
and i'm satisfied to realize you're all i'll ever need
you looked into my life and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
are so simple but so beautiful
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak
you let me know, i am understood
and sometimes i spend my time just trying to escape
i work so hard, so desperately, in an attempt to create space
cause i want distance from the utmost important thing i know
i see your love, then turn my back, and beg for you to go
you looked into my life and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
you're so simple but so beautiful
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak
you let me know, i am understood
you're the only one who understands completely
you're the only one who knows me yet still loves completetely
and sometimes the place i'm at is at a loss for words
if i think of something worthy, i know that it's already yours
and through the times i've faded and you've outlined me again
you've just patiently waited to bring me back and then
you looked into my life and never stopped
and you're thinking all my thoughts
you're so simple but so beautiful
and you recite my words right back to me
before i even speak
you let me know, i am understood
your voice has broken my defence
let me embrace salvation
your voice has broken my defence
let me embrace salvation
let me embrace
let me embrace salvation.

Grad 2005

Look, it's Curtis and me on grad day, aren't we beautiful?

I don't really have the drive to write anything about grad, other than it was a great day, everyone looked beautiful, I WON AWARDS and I was really emotional and cried through alot of it. Thanks so much to everyone who gave me cards that said nice things in them (thats you, Christie) and for all the beautiful gifts. And special thanks to my parents who made all of this possible, I'm sorry for all the time, money, concern and effort you've put in through the past 12 years, especially when it came to math, Mom. I don't even wanna think of where I'd be without all of the above stuff, so really I am truely grateful. Even though I am very excited to finish this chapter of my life, I am also sad to leave behind many amazing people that have helped make me into the person that I am today. Without most of you, I think life would be very different. Thanks for all your prayers! I love you all!!

P.S. I miss you Cass.
P.P.S. I miss Ireen too.
P.P.P.S. And Henky Panky, miss you, boy.

Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You’re not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s. Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen…

Best Weekend Ever

Okay so I just had, like, the most amazing weekend ever.
The youth group went to PLBC and cleaned up the camp. So we left on Friday at 4:00, and I was in the vehical w/ Ashley, Leanna, Adrienne, Henk and Brion. Leanna and Beatrice and I talked the whole way there about all this stuff, like drinking and smoking and premarital sex and everything we could think of and discussed the spiritual stuff about it. That was awesome. Then we got there and like, picked out our beds in the cabin. I had all awesome people in mine - Ashley, Adrienne, Allison, Natalie, and Leanna. I was pumped. So we all walked around and hung out, and Allison and I just talked and it was totally awesome to get to know her better, we have so much stuff in comman. So then, like, we had supper, which was fantastic and wonderful and we hung out more, then we had a campfire devotion, at which I gave my testimony. It was scary, but it felt so wonderful after, and like I totally cried and it made Ashley cry. Then everyone came up and hugged me and thanked me. Henk told me it was moving.
So then we went inside and had hot chocolate. It was so hot we all burned our tongues. Henk played the piano for us and it was beautiful. He's so good, (who knew?) and really it was so pretty. Then Leanna and Allison and I hung out, talking about God and everything, and it was so cool to have people want to talk about it. It was bed time, and Leanna sat up in her bunk reading the Bible. Ashley came up to join us, and we just layed there talking (all three of us on a single bed, TOP BUNK, man it was awkward). We laughed like idiots and it was so much fun. After like 3 hours we fell asleep. I woke up at like 5:30 and was so hot and uncomfortable, so I moved down to my bed. Leanna was like "no offence Janna, but THANK GOD." It was funny. Two hours later we were geting up for breakfast. It was pancakes, my favorite.
Then we split into groups and my group did the dishes. After that we went to dig out the volleyball pit. That was awful, the "sand" has turned hard as cement. It was bad. So Henk and I went to clean the tuck shop, and just talked and had some really good coversations about God and stuff. It was so neat to talk to him about it. We just talked for like an hour. After that we went back to the pit and picked weeds out of it. It was fun, Curtis and I buried Kim in the sand. So then we had lunch and had free time until 3:00. So Leanna and I sat in her bunk and talked about our church and all this stuff that we felt and stuff. It was so amazing. We felt the same about so much of it. So like, I changed and got clean and I just hung out with people, it was cool. Curtis and I played volleyball. I love that kid.
Then we drove to Brandon and had free time in the mall. I walked around with Leanna and Ash. I bought mascara. Anyhoo. So I met up with my parents, and the youth group left. I got my pictures developed and they are awesome, so many of me and Carlyle!!! Yay! Anyhoo. So yeah. I looked for grad shoes and couldn't find any. That was sad. Then I bought these beautiful and amazing pink and black airwalks, I love them to death. So we ate and the McDonalds guy hit on me, it was ridiculous. So on Sunday I went to church and we did fuzzy wuzzies in Sunday School. People wrote nice stuff on mine, and Curtis wrote "the greatest ever!" and Ashley wrote "the bestest friend." I was so thrilled I almost peed.
After church we got ready for mom's b-day party (her birthday is today). Then people came over. It was so fun, and the food and the cake was amazing. We sat around and it was awesome. Everyone went for a walk and then Ashley and I had this deep and amazing talk and we sang songs from camp and talked about songs we want to teach the orphans in Africa. It was so fun. Then everyone came back and Henk was soaked cuz he fell in a flooded ditch. It was hilarious. So we talked and ate around the campfire. After the Bakers left, Henk and Kristin and I sat around the fire, talking. Its so sad, I was just watching Henk and memorizing all these things about him, trying to take it all in and put it in a box so I could keep it and remember it always. I almost cried, I'm sad he's leaving. Then she went to bed and we talked out there until 3:00 am about everything. He's never been so open, ever. It was neat to hear him just be open and honest. So yeah, I'm tired, but I sat with Carlyle all band class, it was awesome. I should go, this post is way too long.

Breathe

Sorry I haven't done a real post in forever. I've just felt uninspired or lazy or something, and I didn't want to do a crappy job of a post. So yes, here I am to spill out my brain as I see fit.
Okay so Tuesday night was the final band concert - or wait, my final band concert, ever. Last year I would've been praising God, but this year in band was so much fun! I think I'll miss it, I love so many of the people, and the music is so good! Dang. But yeah. It was fun though, I took some pictures of me with my peeps, and if they turn out I'll put some of them up on here.
Okay so did you like ever hear a song and wish you wrote it, or thought of some of the lines? That Anna Nalick song, 2 am (Breathe) has some lines that make me go, "dang! I wish I wrote that!"
2 am and I'm still awake writing this song
If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me
Threatening the life it belongs to
And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to
Frick, thats some good stuff, same with when she says, "life's like an hourglass glued to the table." Who came up with that anyways? I wish I could've. Know what else is a beautiful song? Iris, by Goo Goo Dolls. Wow. Anyhoo, I'm dumb, I'm feeling all funky and depressed because I don't have a job, and I need one, and this is my last normal month, and Henk is leaving so soon, and I'll like never see him, and yeah I'm sad. So thats pretty much it for me right now. So yeah. Sorry this post has sucked as much as it does.

He Will Lift You Up

When the world is crashing down around you
And no one understands
He will lift you up
When you feel no arms of love surround you
And you're all alone inside
He will be your Friend

He will lift you up
Close to the Heavens
Feel His embrace
Rushing down like the rain
Turn up your face
And thank your Heavenly Father
For He will lift you up

Cause He feels the pain you feel
And He longs to bear it for you
His love will soon reveal the plans
He has in store for you

He will lift you up
Close to the Heavens
Feel His embrace
Rushing down like the rain
Turn up your face
And thank your Heavenly Father
For He will lift you up

For He will lift you up

Here I am to Worship

Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope for a life spent with You

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me

King of all days
Oh, so highly exhaulted
Glorious in heaven above
Humbly You came to the earth You created
All for love's sake became poor

Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me

I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sins upon that cross
I'll never know how much it cost
To see my sins upon that cross

Napoleon Dynamite

Okay, so this is the dumbest and funniest movie ever! All the characters are funny, and Napoleon is my hero, I just love him. I've seen it twice, both times with Henk present, which really helps complete the experience. So yes, run out and rent it, its very funny!!
Sarah sent me this link to a survey thing to figure out which character you are, and these were my results:

You are Deb and could drink whole milk if you wanted.

I was just happy that I wasn't Kip or Uncle Rico!

Its All Over Now

Okay, so last night was the final night of Drama. I thought I would cry, and I did. I wasn't really sad that the play was done, but mostly was sad that I'd miss the people. And that I wouldn't be back there next year, because I'm in grade 12. So the play went pretty good. All of our scenes were good, so I was happy about that. I gave out the cards I had made. My favorite reaction was David. He just sat there reading with the genuine smile on his face. He looked so happy and then he looked at me and was like, "well Janna that was very sweet." And I was happy. Then he hugged me. So yeah, the show went on. Then we had curtain call and I almost cried. Then we backed up and cheered, and then I started weeping. I hugged Brynne and Sarah and Mike, then Randy and Julia. Wow I bawled like a tool when I hugged Julia. I am so going to miss her the most. Then I hugged Jim, and I mean I just bawled. I got tears all over his shirt, and he just kept saying these nice things to me. Then Rob gave me a rose, and I cried harder. After that I hugged Trevor and William, Scott and David. Scott was so cute. He hugged me and was like,"I'm gonna miss you." It was adorable. So yeah, I continued to cry and hug, and was totally humiliated because I was the only one.
So I went downstairs and changed, washed off my makeup etc. Then Brynne and I went upstairs to eat. SO MUCH GOOD FOOD! I sat with Julia and Hannah, Jim and Randy and Brynne. It was fun, and we ate way too much. Then we moved down closer to the front to watch the program. There were some skits, like the little kids dressing up like Jackie and Willie and singing. Too cute!! And some speeches by the directors and principles, etc. Then it was almost over and I was like, I have something to say. So I went up on stage and pulled out my notes I had made. I was like yeah, I always told myself I'd do this, but maybe it was a better idea in my head. I was intimidated! There were alot of people out there. So I was like, this was my 10th production here. But my voice was all wobbley. It was awful! And then I started crying. So I couldn't talk. So I blubbered my way through my speech about how much we're a big drama family, and how much each person there had touched my life. And I said that they helped raise me from 8 to 18. And then I said that I was looking forward to coming back to watch it next year, and finally feel back home. And then I went and sat down, but seriously I was bawling. I got to the stairs, and everyone was standing and clapping. I was an amazing and overwhelming feeling. When I got back to my seat, Jim hugged me and told me he was proud of me for doing that. And then Barry came over to hug me. Then Janice, then Barb and Gordie, Neil, Lori, Clare, Wendy, Brynne, Hannah. It was unbelieveable and I cried each time. Julia was like, "I'm mad at you!" and she was crying too. Then Trevor hugged me. And Scott and David. Then people started leaving. Julia was like, I don't want to leave! And she hugged me and was like "I'm going to miss you!" I just wept. Then they left, and she kept turning around and waving, and we were both weeping. It was really hard because I know I won't see her again for a while, or get to hang out with her like ever. So yeah. Then Brynne came over. I am so funking today. Its just weird to think that I won't see all those people again for such a long time! And I'm in Drama every year. What will I do with myself? So yeah, I'm sad.

Its Been Too Long

I'm so sorry I haven't posted in ever, its just that I have been so busy with Drama! This week is production week, and its going all right. I mean all the scenes I'm in have been good. So yeah...I never thought I'd be a girl who obsesses over tans, but I really enjoy looking down and seeing pretty tanned legs. And arms. I think it makes me look healthier or something. Last night Henk came to the play, and he waved at us before he left. I am so proud of him for acknowledgeing us in public! I mean he never comes to the front or anything, but the wave...excellent. Much improved. Anyhoo I gotta go to french class now, I am so sorry about the lack of postage but I will be back! Toodles!!

Pieces - Sum 41

I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I’d thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy that nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I'm trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

Easter Words

Hope y'all remember what Easter is all about:

"When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your sinful nature, God made you alive in Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having cancelled the written code with its regulations, that was against us and that stood opposed to us; He took that away, nailing it to the cross. And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
Colossians 2:13-15

God bless your Easter.



P.S. Today, almost a week after the Kalan concert, it hit me. I am so in a funk!

Janna and Friend

Janna and Kalan :)

The Kalan Story

OH MY GOSH.
Tonight I saw, heard, touched, MET AND TOOK A PICTURE WITH KALAN PORTER!!!
I could seriously die! The whole thing seems so unreal right now!!! Like it hasn't totally sunk in yet, I want to see my pictures so maybe I'll believe it. HOLY CRAP THIS IS CRAZY!
So Brynne, Ireen, Ashley and I went to Brandon (even though the highways were closed, lol) and hung out at the mall a bit. I got Drive Me Crazy and The Babysitter's Club on DVD! I'm pumped! Then we went to the Westman Auditorium, it was around 7:30. We got Kalan shirts and pictures, it said Amanda Stott was giving autographs but nothing on Kalan, so we were sad. Then we went in, it was PACKED. I'm serious. So many girls, of all ages! Little girls and moms and even some grandma's! It was hilarious. Anyways, I was wetting myself and feeling totally nauseated. It was crazy. Then Amanda Stott came out. WOW. What a voice! Its totally sad, she had 10 thousand times more talent than Kelly Clarkson, but she's like hardley famous at all. She's unbelieveable, and completely inspiring. I bought her CD! And got a picture with her. She actually almost made me weep, her voice just moved me.
So after her set, and an autograph and picture with her later, I was back in my seat, feeling ill. Maria was two rows ahead of me, and was like "see that guy up there? Is that Kalan?" I looked up and it totally was! I was like, waving, and he was smiling and waving back. Then the lights went off. Everyone was screaming and I was freaking right out. It seemed like 5 minutes before I could hear this sound...and saw this guy with a violin walk out in a black coat with the collar all turned up. Oh wow. He started playing, it was amazing. Everyone was screaming, and the lights were purple! Then, after the Prelude, he turned his back, and his band rushed out. He whipped around and started "She's So Dangerous."
I was numb, I didn't know what to do. So I cheered. Then I started bawling my head off. I was so overhelmed, that he was real, and there, and singing, and he was so REAL. I mean he was a living breathing real person, not just a face on TV. Ireen laughed at me as I cried until the end of the song. Then he sang "And We Drive" and I wanted to die. I LOVE THAT SONG. Then he was like, "Hey Brandon" and there was more screaming. I was zooming in on my camera and taking pictures. He sang "I Don't Wanna Miss You", and my word, it was lovely. I mean that kid can sing. Like sure, he's an absolute cutey, but when it comes down to it, he is TALENTED. He sang "Single" and finally people got up and started dancing. After the song the skanky old man in charge told us to sit down. Then he sang "Old Man" and Ireen sang along, too cute. It was beautiful. Then Kalan told us to stand up! Ha ha! It was awesome. He kept singing and it was amazing, I was just screaming and Brynne and I were freaking out.
I got up and went to the side to take some pictures up close. I mean I got some great ones. He was so close, I could see the amazing blue of his eyes. And he smiled too! It was amazing! He played his violin so much too! Wow. I went and sat down again and Brynne and I got up to polka during one of his solos, but then we just joined the pit. I wanted to get touched SO bad. Then he left and came back out with a cowboy hat on. I admit, it was hot. Maria joined us in the pit. Then he did "The Devil Came Down to Georgia." It was awesome. Then he sang "Awake in a Dream" and changed it so it was all rock-y, it was amazing. Then he left. I was sad, I so thought it was over. But he came back out and sang songs he sang on Idol, like "House of the Rising Sun", "Long Train Runnin", "Nature Boy", and "Born to Be Wild."
OH MY GOSH. During Long Train Runnin', he was running around touching fingers with people, and I reached...and he GRABBED my hand. I mean he was just wiggling fingers, but he grabbed my right hand. I almost puked. I was screaming and freaking, and I pointed at my hand at Ashley and Ireen, and they laughed. It was unreal. Then I cried again (tool). He sang the last two songs, then had a huge instrumental solo with his band. He waved, bowed, let some people touch his hair, and left. I was sad, wired, pumped and in shock!
Brynne and I decided last Friday we were going out to his bus. Well lots of other people had the same idea. So we waited (Ashley wouldn't come, that bum) and waited. I felt so bad. I mean the poor kid just wants to relax, you know? And he's hounded by fans. But yeah, I waited and couldn't believe he was right there. Then...I got up there. I gave him my sheet to sign and he said, "Hi, how are you?" And I blurted, "God bless you! That was good." And he was like, "wow, thank you." And then I asked for a picture, and he said sure, and I put my arm around him, and he put his arm around me, and Brynne jumped in beside me (you're forgiven) and Ireen took it. I don't even think I blinked. Then I said thanks and danced away.
I MET HIM! I TOUCHED HIM! HE ACKNOWLEDGED THAT I EXIST! And I have a picture to prove it!! (Please God, let it turn out!)
It still doesn't seem real. I'm flying so high right now. Wow oh wow. I don't even know what to say. Tomorrow I will be in the biggest FUNK ever.
Some things bugged me a little however. Nothing about Kalan, just some of the fans. I mean its like some girls know nothing about him. So many kept yelling "you're hot" and were dressed so skimpy. I was like, he doesn't appreciate that. He loves Jesus. He appreciates your support, but he wants you to love his music, too. I mean some girls had a sign that said "come over sometime, I have a double bed." I think he'll be discusted by that, not impressed. It made me sad, and made me realize that I should just keep praying for him, he needs our prayers. So all of you reading this, say a little prayer for Kalan that he won't stray and will draw close to God, and let Him guide him and be his strength. He needs that to stay grounded, to stay...Kalan. I believe thats what makes him so great - his heart.
God bless Kalan Porter, may he continue to make great music, sing well, stay healthy and stay humbled by God's awesome presence in his life. I love you, Kalan. I'm praying for you.

Three Hours

In three hours, I will see my man, my favorite person, my hero, my
KALAN PORTER
IN THE FLESH.
I think I might die of excitement. Or anticipation.

Best Day EVER!

Today has been the freaking funnest day ever! It was Jazz Fest in Brandon, so we all packed up after an hour and a half of practising and headed off. I got to ride in the Handivan! It was the best group of us: Curtis, Eddie, Geordie, Kyle M, Kelsey, Carlyle, Britney, Heidi, Brynne and me. We just talked and hung out the whole way there. Heidi and I laughed most of the way, really! "We're in the handivan...WE'RE COOL!" LOL! Carlyle sat in the wheelchair! We were drawing on the fogged up windows (nice roadkill squirrel "guitar" Eddie!) and waving at people who passed us. And we ate on the way too, Eddie was jealous of my lunch. Then we got there, and we hung out in the hallway, and I saw Jeff and Norah came over to say hello. Then we went to warm up. We went out on the stage to set up, and I saw Andrew! That was cool. He actually announced us, and the songs we played. Then we played In the Mood. It was...interesting. Well it was actually pretty good until the last two bar lines, when the trumpets play the chromatic scale. We all just kind of died and yeah it was bad. I was so humiliated after we finished. Then we played Woodchopper's Ball, which was somehow worse. Oh it was so completely awful. But then we played Soul Bossa Nova. That was the best we ever played it. I mean, we nailed everything! It was amazing, we just killed it! The trumpets we good that whole song, I must say. Then we were adjudicated, and he was really nice. We went to another building and he worked with us for like an hour. We improved so much! If he came to our school once a month, we would be a completely better Jazz Band. So then we like rocked at Woodchopper's. He told us that we we started to play Soul Bossa, we completely changed. He said it was like we were a totally different band. So yeah, that was good.
Then we went to get pictures taken and the photo guy was a total skank (just like at Optimist). So we took the picture, and then we hung out outside. Eddie and I discussed how it must photo guy requirements to be a hoebag, lol. Then Kristin came and said goodbye. Then we all got on the Handivan. We were sitting there, just talking and some of us were humming Soul Bossa. Then Carlyle started yelling "HANDIVAN!" at people who walked by. It was so funny! Then we sang Soul Bossa, each of us singing our parts. It was totally fun and we were just screaming the whole time. People looked frightened, it was funny! My throat was so sore after that. After singing it through about 4 times, we were all like, "what time is it? why haven't we moved?" and Mr. Pettinger was like "It's 3:20 (we were supposed to have left an hour ago) and the handivan won't move out of park." So we all went outside and tried to push it, which was funny also.
Then we got back on, and Mr. Pettinger was on the phone calling the school etc. There was a charter bus parked across the street, and we were waving at the 3 people in it, yelling "Handivan!" at them. They waved and acted like idiots, and we were feeling silly, so Eddie stuck his head out the window and blew a kiss at them. This one guy was pumping his arm in the air with excitement, which scared Eddie. So he gave me his sunglasses, and I continued to wave at them. Then they wrote us a note and held it up against the window. It asked us to um, show some skin and we all laughed, and wrote back for them to show us some first. It was all in good fun, really. But then this one guys started taking off his sweater and dancing around, and then he started with his pants! I was hiding, and then I saw his teacher coming! He did too, when she came on, and ducked into a seat to redress. She looked pretty mad! When they walked by we all laughed and applauded, and I held up a sign that said "Nice." It was hilarious! Finally the handivan started moving, around 4:00. We celebrated by going to McDonalds. It was awesome! I hugged Carlyle! We laughed and talked and it was great. And Brynne and I started making our straws make sounds, and everyone else joined. We called it the Handivan song. It was totally awesome.
Then we finally started home, around 4:15. We talked about movies we like (who knew they all love Monty Python?), and comedians, and laughed like idiots. We also laughed about everything else that happened that day. We had a contest on who was ugliest when they were 12. We talked about hygene, and how cool it would be to take then Handivan to a drive in movie, with a big buttload of us. Seriously, I am so jealous of all of them. I was never that cool when I was 14 or 15. It was so totally awesome, like I mean we never ran out of things to talk about, or laugh about, and I could've driven for way longer than we did. I feel like we're like the Handivan's own Breakfast Club. We're like the Handivan Club (whoa, that sounded way cooler in my head). Like we're all forever bonded because of that one day. Who knows if on Monday we'll talk or anything, but for those few hours we a tight group of friends. Now that is beautiful. And I am so in a funk.

Aicha

So sweet, so beautiful
Every day like a queen on her throne
Don't nobody knows how she feels
Aicha lady, one day you'll be real

She moves, she moves like a breeze
I swear I can't get her out of my dreams
To have her shining right here by my side
I'd sacrifice all the tears in my eyes
woo woo woo

Aicha, Aicha
Passin me by
Aicha, Aicha
My my my (ooh)
Aicha, Aicha
Smile for me now
I don't know, I dont know
Aicha in my life

For the complete Aicha experience, go to http://www.ebaumsworld.com/aicha.html

Again

Today
I cried
Again
Harder
Than before.

In Rememberance

Okay, so I've been deeply changed and moved by the four RCMP officers killed in Alberta. Everytime I see anything about them on the news, I cry. Right now an "In the Line of Duty" special is on. Oh wow, I just couldn't stop crying. Over 700 officers have died in Canada since the 60s. This one officer, his wife was 4 weeks pregnant when he was killed. He was only 21. She never met her father. Another one has a young child and leaves a pregnant wife. Oh, its just awful.
One of the officers was the son of a Lutheran pastor, and he told his dad that no matter what happened to him on the job, he knew where he was going to end up. I mean how beautifully and tragically sad is that? I just bawled. I mean he was only 25, he had his whole life ahead of him. He's with Jesus now, but the fact is he shouldn't be. He should be living his life, having children. I find it so unfair and awful. The truth is, nobody is to blame. As long as there's sin in the world, this will happen. People need Jesus, you know? Like people just need to find Him and hang out with Him and get to know Him and maybe stuff like this wouldn't happen. There was no reason to shoot those men. Oh this is awful, I am so sad.
I wish I could do something, I'm just feeling this deep desire to help out. The worst thing is that no matter what I do, or tried to do, nothing can bring this men back to their loved ones.

Const. Peter Schiemann, aged 25

Const. Leo Johnston, aged 32

Const. Anthony Gordon, aged 28

Const. Brock Myrol, aged 29

"We seek comfort in the midst of our sorrow, peace in the midst of our inner turmoil and hope...from a good and gracious God who is more powerful than the evil in us and around us. Yes, what happened to Peter and the others was horrific. Sin will run rampant, but horror and evil, sin and death did not win the day."

You will be remembered.

The Countdown

ten things i want to do in my lifetime:
1. hang out with (or preferably marry) Matt Thiessen from Relient K
2. fall in love and get married
3. graduate from college
4. have a family of my own
5. learn to play the guitar
6. travel around Europe
7. go to underprivilaged countries to do missions work
8. write and publish a book
9. have blue hair
10. help lots of people find Jesus

nine things on my mind:
1. i don't care enough about school
2. my head hurts
3. i wish i could do something tonight other than math
4. i am SO SAD that Matt Thiesson is married!
5. should I be coloring my french poster right now?
6. how much longer will I have this job?
7. I eat too much chocolate
8. something smells totally funky in here
9. what will Sarah and I sing for the talent show?

eight songs i love:
1. Crimson and Clover - Tommy James and the Shondells
2. Look What You've Done - Jet
3. When I Go Down - Relient K
4. Hopeless - The Trews
5. Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
6. Untitled - Simple Plan
7. In The Light- DC Talk
8. Pitiful - Blindeside

seven things i do almost every day:
1. complain
2. take tylenol
3. worry about something
4. listen to Relient K
5. eat a lot
6. laugh
7. say "Holy Crap"

six things (not people) i love:
1. rainbows
2. snuggling with my cats
3. getting e-mails
4. Festival (and my hoodie!)
5. dancing
6. playing the piano

five people i enjoy the company of: (not in any particular order)
1. Ashley
2. Brynne
3. Cassie
4. Ireen
5. Everyone who's reading this now...I LOVE YOU! I love too many people.

four most recent movies i’ve seen:
1. The Village
2. Hitch
3. Barbershop 2
4. Cellular (LOL!)

three skills i have:
1. writing stuff
2. singing
3. eating! lol

two things i’d change about myself:
1. I would SO be thinner! I mean...I'd accept myself :)
2. i would be better at telling people about Jesus

one bit of advice:
1. always smile! someone will smile back!

Hurry Up, Tomorrow!

I wish tomorrow would get here. Not like today has been exceptionably awful or anything, but tomorrow is going to be fun! We have a sub in french, so that will be good, then work, and then Brynne and I are going to see Kristin's play! Maybe we can go out for coffee after or something, or just back to her room. Oh well. I'm hoping to show Brynne my grad dress as well. I hope she likes it! Then she's spending the night and we're going to the wavepool with youth group the next afternoon. And Ireen is coming! I haven't seen her in ever! It'll be a blast, I'm stoked. Plus swimming, how fun! Other than the swimsuit aspect. Oh well, whatevz. I can't believe I just said that, my sister is really starting to rub off on me...
Okay, so reading my 17 magazine today made me realise that I am TOTALLY addicted to caffine! The symptoms were that if you didn't have it you were sluggish, had headaches and were irritable. Well thats been me lately. I am so tired for no reason, I have constant headaches and mom pointed out that I've been grumpy. So yeah. I think its the chocolate more than the pop, because I've had so much of it in the past few weeks, with my birthday and Valentine's Day so close together. But now my supply is out, and I'm feeling the effects, people. Not good! I've totally put on weight since January too, which sucks. I just feel fat and yucky all the time, how annoying. So yes, caffine is bad, as is chocolate and no energy to work out. So yeah. Yeah.