What if I Stumble?

The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today
Is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips
Then walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle.
That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.

What if I stumble?
What if I fall?

Is this one for the people? Is this one for the Lord?
Or do I simply serenade for things I must afford?
You can jumble them together, my conflict still remains
Holiness is calling, in the midst of courting fame
Cause I see the trust in their eyes
Though the sky is falling
They need Your love in their lives
Compromise is calling
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
What if I lose my step and I make fools of us all?
Will the love continue when my walk becomes a crawl?
What if I stumble, and what if I fall?
Father please forgive me for I can not compose
The fear that lives within me or the rate at which it grows
If struggle has a purpose on the narrow road You've carved
Why do I dread my trespasses will leave a deadly scar
Do they see the fear in my eyes?
Are they so revealing?
This time I cannot disguise
All the doubt I'm feeling
What if I stumble?
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
You're up against a wall, it's about to fall
Everyone's got to crawl when you know that
I hear You whispering my name
You say "My love for You will never change"
Never change
What if I stumble, what if I fall?
You are my comfort, and my God
Is this one for the people, is this one for the Lord?

Happy 100th post to me! :)

Red Eye (dun dun DUH)

Okay so last night Brynne and I has a crazy fun Gremlin trip to Bdn and saw Red Eye. It was totally enjoyable! The beginning was a bit draggy, because it relied to much on silly dialogue, but once they started beating the crap out of each other it got totally better! Seriously, that movie should be used for a self-defence class. I never knew that pens in the throat and stilletos in the thigh could be so lethal! Same with a cheerleading baton! She kicks his butt for like 30 minutes, and when he finally manages to catch her, she says to him, "you are so pathetic." HA! So true! I mean his butt gets kicked by a 5'5", 118 pound girl! And her hair looks beautiful the entire movie, even after being thrown down a flight of stairs. She rocks, I love Rachel McAdams! No matter what color her hair is, she looks stunning. And she's a convincing cryer. Anyhoo, so then we went to Walmart and I bought lipgloss called "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" and Brynne's was called "Rich and Famous" so we started coming up with guy's names who fit the titles. I had Ewan McGregor and Clive Owen, she had Kalan Porter and seriously just about any celebrity ever, lol. I think we should share Johnny Depp. I giggled. Then we went to Dairy Queen and headed for home just talking and chilling out. I totally missed that, we haven't done that in SO long! And I missed that and it so won't happen again until like CHRISTMAS. So freaking weird, I mean we're like attached at the hip and now we're separated until December. So weird. I can't believe she's leaving and I'm leaving and that we're all being separated. Yikes. I don't like it. Well I want to go watch Untamed Heart and have a good cry. Love you guys!

Canadian Idol - Week 6

After missing last week’s performances, I was thrilled to see my first live show because I’M DONE WORK, SUCKERS! Ha! Anyhoo, I finally got to watch it at 7:00, so that was nice.
Yay! Props to CI for bringing us the Guess Who week! So Zack started off the evening by playing guitar, which was entertaining, I guess. Really he just couldn’t stand being outdone by Josh last week. Anyways, Ben Mulroney is HOT! Holy crap! Sass’ shirt is appalling, not even a young girl should wear that, let alone Sass Jordan. I love Rex and his awesome accent. What an adorable boy.
He started the show singing “No Sugar Tonight”. Rex is so cute, I totally enjoyed it! He looked beautiful! And he was hurt, but he still sang amazingly and I loved it. Casey was almost overpowered by my father singing along, but from what I heard she was good! She looked amazing! And she sounded like the old Casey that I got to love, so I’m glad she’s back! Suzie tried to spin her way out of another boring performance. She sang a good song, but once again in the exact same style she always does. And mostly all she did was stomp around…meh I think she’ll be in the bottom. Melissa was DULL, and every line of the song ended in “eeee” which got really annoying, especially because it was sung on a flat awful note. She was B-A-D BAD and I agree with Zack finally, that her outfit etc was awful. Yikes! Okay, Aaron rocks! He just had to sing “These Eyes” it was so perfect for him and he did a really good, relatively un-cheesey performance. He deserved the standing O that Farley gave him. I was happy.
So…the bottom three is: Suzie, Melissa, and Rex (although I really hope Rex is safe) and MELISSA GOES. Because she is the only logical person to go! If she doesn't, I give up.

Word Vomit

So I'm at work right now...geez its freezing in here. And my ears keep clicking. Perhaps the meds are finally working. For the past few days I've felt like I have tinitus, hearing an electrical whirring all the time. It was weird, I could hear it over my own whisper. Now they are clicking away, making whooshing sounds like they do after you go swimming and your ears are all full of water. Good ole ear infection. I miss my scarf. It kept me toasty warm and now I’m just like freezing my butt off. It was just cozy and comforting. I hope Baba brings me something nice and hot for supper. Like a baked potato with sour cream. And soup, that stuff she brought me before. Supper should be here soon, like in the next half hour because Baba likes to feed me at like 4:00 in the afternoon. I miss Brynne. We haven’t hung out in ever. We should get together and rent “A Lot Like Love’, I wanna see it. Even though it has Ashton Kutcher in it. I actually enjoy Punked, its some stupid garbage but it is so much fun to watch people like Eva Longoria and Mario freaking out or weeping because they got arrested or had am old lady accuse them of looking at her breasteses. Ha ha! Know what movie I want to see again? Mod Squad. Totally enjoyable, the best part of the movie is Claire Danes’ hair, so pretty and fun and it never looks bad, ever. That’s kind of irritating. Like me missing all this season of the OC! And Lost too. I’m saddened, I mean how will I know what happened to Marissa after she shot Trey? Is Ryan mad? Is Kirsten sober? Is Sandy still wonderful? Please tell me Seth and Summer and good and going strong and that Zach is gone and that annoying girl Jess is gone too. And in Lost, who are the others? Is that kid still alive? Does bimbo still love brown man? When will Kate and Dr. Wonderful get together? Will the adorable Chinese couple re-unite? Is Charlie going to use the drugs they found on the plane? Will angry bald man lose his ability to walk? You can tell I’m rusty already because I forget all their names. Sadness. Brat Camp is almost over, and I’m beginning to mourn already. The opening to that show is so spectacularly amazing that I want to like eat it. Everyone on earth should be jealous that they didn’t create it, I mean the pictures, words, and music are all just like perfect and amazing and inspired. I love it. And Isaiah’s hair, and the name Isaiah. And Shawn’s stoner voice, I love it. He almost cried and I got emotional. I could really go on forever about Brat Camp, so I should stop now. I wonder if I can e-mail CTV and buy a copy of the season? I’d do it too. I am so cold I could die. I am so pining for my scarf right now. Ah I want to go home and watch old episodes of the OC that I taped. Four more hours of work. You people should watch SYTYCD because its fun and the dancing is great. Jonnis is amazing and Canadian, he does all this exciting clowning stuff. It was a fun time anyhoo. All hearing has gone out of my right ear. Its weird and annoying. Brynne brought me a scarf, its warm and crazy long! I love the Killers new song. Two more hours of work. Label makers are so addicting! I want to go home and watch the Notebook and Untamed Heart. Both of those movies are upsetting and moving. Baba gave me chocolate cake stuff and its thrilling. This sucks I am so done with work and I want to go home! I’m going to go to the bathroom as soon as the Killers song finishes (it came on right after I typed that I love it. Uncanny or what?). “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” Well now I only have one hour of work left, so I have to shut down the computer and cover it up for another year. Toodles! Thanks for coming out.

Crying a River

This is a sad sad day. I hate crying before I go to bed! I know it takes a really small and pathetic person to get so over-emotional and stupid over TV shows, but come on, even you were sad when Speed was killed on CSI: Miami, right? Was that just me? So I am sad because two of my favorite people were removed forever from my television tonight, and I've grown quite attatched to them, so I am mourning the loss.
Nick was like my favorite kid on Brat Camp, the most addicting and emotional show to ever grace my living room. Seriously! He's this little troubled guy with dyslexia who is 14 and can't read or tell you what 15 divided by 3 is, but he's so endearing and sweet that you just want to cry and embrace him. Which I did - well the crying part at least. He was a good boy who changed and promised not to try to kill his brother anymore and he left Sagewalk and went home tonight, away from my TV for always. I'm saddened. At least Shawn is still around - he makes me emotional too, when Mother Raven almost wept and touched his head...sigh. I will truely weep when he is gone for good.
I can't believe Josh was kicked off Canadian Idol! I miss a week and look what happened!! I mean Daryl going last week was crazy, but this is ridiculous. I just sat on my couch and bawled, what a man, what a genius, what a presence, what a talent, what an individual, what an OUTRAGE that those three girls beat him! He's such a lovely man, such a lovely spirit, he's better off without idol, but now I can't watch him every week. Everyone go to idol's official site and watch the video of him singing "In the Air Tonight", it will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. I just bawled. A crime, really.
So thats pretty much it for my rant. I only have 2 more days of work and like 2 weeks until Outtatown. I am going to wet myself I am so frightened!!!

I Love Qass

This is me and my beautiful friend Cassie at Joey's Only. I really miss her. Knowing Cassie is like knowing the person that you wish you were, you know? She's one of those people who makes you a better person just for hanging around her. She loves everybody genuinely because she sees us all as siblings in Christ and in return everyone loves her. I think I love her the most.
I miss her today.

I Heart VBS

Okay, so this week is VBS, and I am crazy busy, going to the church to prepare in the am, VBS from 1:00 - 3:30, and then working from 4:00 - 8:00. Crazy. But seriously, one hug from an adorable child makes it all worth it. I love those kids. This one kid, named Cory, looks like a Cabbage Patch Kid, just sweet and innocent. And these kids are SMART. They are so much fun, and maybe I'm jynxing myself by saying this on day 2, but they're pretty well behaved. I love it, and this is the first year that I've taught VBS where I feel like I'm doing it right, like I feel that God is giving me the right words to say to these kids. Its making me crazy excited to go to Africa and embrace and love and witness to beautiful African children. I am SO pumped, because this year's VBS is giving me all this experience. I actually might cry on the last day, I'm so thankful for all these kids and their willingness to learn about God. VBS is an amazing experience that I won't forget. Plus I get to do it with Curtis, and hanging out has been so much fun, with too many laughs to count (spitting ice cream, Mr. Doolots, juice powder, glittery signs, Chinese Codie, silly kid jokes), staying up way to late to get ready, He's just the best, and we could not do it without Kate. Thank God for Kate, our extra hand and voice of reason. AH it just rocks I am having so much fun! Thats pretty much it. :)

Canadian Idol - Week 4

Ok, its Big Band week on CI, which is odd because its usually one of the last themes. Oh well, lets see what our idols can do!
Suzi Rawn opened the show singing this song we listened to in Jazz Band. It sounded nothing like it. I must agree with my brother when he said during her performance, "some people just shouldn't try singing" because he hit the nail on the head. She suits the jazz stuff I guess, but it was very lounge singer-esque and mostly was sung by the crowd. Meh. Aaron's dancing was adorable!! This was his thing, he did it and it was great! Farley was finally like, "just embrace who you are!" and I agree. Good for Aaron, he should be proud of his ability. The worst performance of the night was by Melissa, singing "De-Lovely". It was more like "De-AWFUL" and "De-id not hit a note". It was awful, our judges don't even listen anymore. They just say what they want. Talk her up all you want, you did the same thing to Elena and she was eliminated pretty fast. I WANT TO MARRY JOSH. He shaved, pushed back his hair and looked so beautiful I wanted to explode. There is no reason why he shouldn't win. Can I marry him please? Wow, it was almost a religious experience. It was....wow. Wow wow WOW. The next best performance was by none other than Rex Goudy. He was simply amazing. Holy mother, I love him, he's so beautiful and real and emotional and honest and wow. Holy cleavage Casey! Thats not how I like to see my nice little girl. Her voice hardcore broke and she was boring as per usual. Daryl is the cutest guy ever. I mean dang, this kid can SING. My gosh! I want to hug him, the judges were unreasonably mean to him. LIKE SO MEAN. Evil Jake! And like you can talk Farley, in your ugly nasty old lady Easter hat. Yuck. They just jealous that he is so much better than Melissa and Suzi combined. Wow, thats actually a bad mental image.
Some other things to note - Zach actually dressed well tonight! Farley's hat is hideous. The band is AMAZING. And lastly, Ben Mulroney is the tallest person alive. He towers above everyone. Thought he looked ready to work the cruise ship, I still love him.
So...the bottom three is: Casey, Melissa, and Suzi (if Daryl, Josh, Rex or Aaron are in the bottom 3 heads will roll). And MELISSA GOES. Man I hope so!

BOO CANADA!!!

I can't BELIEVE that Amber got kicked off!!! What is wrong with Canada? YUCK YUCK YUCK! I want to throw something...
This is awful....its exactly like eliminating Kalan Porter third and leaving Manoah behind. Vomit. Filth. Yuck. I cannot find anything to say that is pleasant.
I dunno, if Zach doesn't give her a record deal....
I AM ANGRY. If I was one of those Brat Camp kids this post would be very different. Speaking of that show, it puts me in the hugest funk ever. I am currently angry to be a citizen of Canada. I feel like I am surrounded by clueless people. Have we turned into the US, where we choose Ruben over Clay? Vonzell over Nikko? A pretty face over any pinch of talent? I am disgusted by this choice, and will continue to be so.
This is depressing, Canadian Idol was so much better last year with Kalan, Josh, Shane, you know, people with talent. I guess now I'm pulling for Daryl. And Josh (who was in the bottom two - ridiculous!), a musical genious. Whatever, it obviously doesn't matter who has talent anymore.

Janna: Boo! Boo! Boo!
Canadian Public: Why do you do this?
Janna: Because you had talent in your hands, and you gave it up!
Canadian Public: But they would have eliminated Suzi if we hadn't done it.
Janna: Your next Canadian Idol was there. And you chose another. Amber saved you in the Top 10, and you treated her like garbage. And that's what you are, the Country of Refuse. So cheer her on now if you want, cheer to her. Cheer on, Country of Slime, Country of Filth, Country of Putrescence. Boo! Boo! Rubbish. Filth. Slime. Muck. Boo! Boo! Boo!

(Special thanks to the Princess Bride for the script.)

Canadian Idol - Week 3

Okay, so here I am for another night of Idol fun! It was 80’s week. Yeah I know, my favorite era of music. I was soooo excited about it too (note the sarcasm).
First of all, I love to say how happy I am to see Zack humiliated on national TV. Playing a clip of his old rock band…priceless. His hair was hilarious.
Anyhoo, Amber started the show. It was alright. I mean, sung well, but just…meh. I wanted chills and I just didn’t get them. Rex was next, and he looked splendid as usual. He was good, I mean I enjoyed it. He sang it like Rex. Ok, when Byrd says that you sang ‘okay’ and you’re about to perform in front of Canada…that’s the kiss of death. This is what was said to Casey in her pre-song clip. I think anyone who thinks that was good has gym socks in their ears. Sass only liked it because they shared the same hair style and color of extensions. Daryl may be odd, but he is amazing!!! He was completely awesome tonight, singing ‘Tainted Love’ which is one of my favorites. That kid rocks. What up with Suzi’s scary dancing? She must’ve read my review last week and tried not to spin or sing like Pee Wee, and somehow it was 10 times worse. She looked hot, but sounded completely hideous. Wow. Aaron is amazing for having a faux hawk! He did so good! I am happy that Jake yelled at Zack (by the way Zack, the show is NOT about you so get over yourself). JOSH WAS AMAZING. OH MY GOSH WHAT TO EVEN SAY. INEXPLICABLE. FRESH! EXCITING! Ha ha ha. He was brilliant. I thought Melissa was about to pole dance the way she kept carrying her mike stand around for no reason. ‘Holding Out for a Hero’ is a great song, but it was not sung great at all. She can leave at any time and I’ll be glad.
Sooo…I survived 80’s week. Everyone should be proud, especially Brynne.
Down to business: the bottom three – Casey, Suzi, Melissa. This is a toss up between Suzi and Casey, but I guess I have to decide. CASEY GOES.
Note: Due to Ashley's elimination, I'd like to offer a big fat congrats to Suzi Rawn, Canada's first Pee Wee Idol!!