**If any of the following apply to you, you may be suffering with OTWS or in severe cases, EJ (emotional jannaitis). Please consult your Divine Physician for help or post prayer requests below. Seek help now!! When caught early OTWS and EJ are significantly less fatal.**
Do you ever just doubt yourself?
Do you ever question everything thats ever happened to you?
Do you ever wonder why people love you?
Do you ever wish you could transend space and time?
Do you cry in the shower?
Do you ever miss something or someone so much you could practically die?
Do you ever cry for no reason?
Do you ever feel scared you'll forget whats happened?
Do you eat your feelings?
Do you fight a war against your mirror everyday?
Do you feel frustrated that you're never satisfied?
Do you ever wish you could be transported somewhere else?
Do you ever think about those kids in Kliptown?
Do you ever want to go back?
Do you see their faces at night?
Do you get frustrated because you can't help?
Do you cry one minute and laugh the next?
Do you miss spooning?
Do you miss the stars in Mdumbi?
Do you feel like you should feel incredibly blessed and greatful?
Do you feel bad because you don't?
Do you feel like you're on a roller coaster?
Do you feel like me?
Do you post all your mixed up feelings online?
Okay, so I'm silly. And really must stop posting so late at night when my brain hardly works and my emotions are on over drive. I think I've lost my mind! :S
3 comments:
Hang on Babe,
You'll pull through it...you will. I've been in some of the places you've been and seriously, it goes away with only slight aftertaste. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me anytime during the day or night. I'm always around. I love you and I pray for you all the time. God's hands are over you. He cries for you because he loves you so much. He feels exactly the way you feel with Terrel...a yearning for you. So, don't hesitate to call him any day or night. I found that the easiest way to feel better is to invite him to lay with you while you fall asleep. It's the safest, most calming way to go to bed and you feel better in the morning. But, at the same time, He wants you to feel this way for a reason...In a queer way, you are feeling something so productive and so profound to your work on this earth. And also remember that you have a mission field right out your door. There are a lot of people willing to leave the country for third world children, but not as many willing to reach out to the ones that need us right here. I believe my mission field is Alberta and you have to ask God where your long term mission field is. As for Terrel (and this will sound ridiculous but take it from someone whose been there), as hard as being apart from him is, it is so good for you. You grow fond of eachother, your faith in God and eachother is tested and you won't be in a situation to do anything foolish. When I was with Dave, the time we were apart and then saw eachother for a few hours was wonderful. It was so intense. And I post such a ridiculously long and personal blog for those of you who will also read this and have felt like Janna or me and need a few encouraging words...Also, you too don't be afraid to call. I like to listen or talk your ear off or whatever you prefer. And one more thing, Terrel, you have chosen a very special girl. Well, God has chosen a very special girl for you and I know she must have found a very special boy. So, I'm just gonna review the five points to a relationship that are important. The first one being even more so because without it, your relationship will fail no matter how strong your love...I've seen it happen and it is ugly. 1. God, 2. Love, 3. Communication, 4. Respect, 5. Trust and I'm adding a sixth one, 6. Have fun! Enjoy yourself.
Okay, that's enough of my horrendously long and ranting blog. I'm just gonna end off by saying Jan, I love every single little thing about you.
Al, you rock my socks! This is officially the longest comment I've ever gotten...I'm going to call you this week when I get home. You're the bomb diddly!I love you!
P.S. Last night I was talking with God and realised that I'm really missing out on Christian Fellowship - I'll get in on that this weekend! :)
Oh Janna, I feel for ya. Allison has some pretty sage advice there, I think yer in lotsa good hands. Lemme know yer real email addy, "pretty please with sugar on it?"
Love Nargus' Mommy
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