Church Bulletin Bloopers

These absolutely slay me - my favorite number 18, the one about B.S.!

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
3.Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

4. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

6. Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

7. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

8. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

9. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

10. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

11. During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

12. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

13. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

14. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

15. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.

16. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

17. This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

18. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

19. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

20. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

21. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."