Monday, January 03, 2005

Everything and Nothing

Wow, I have no idea what to say, so I'll just ramble. Maybe something significant will come out after all this. So tonight I am all alone in the house, currently listening to CSI: Miami and talking to Kyle M about being 18 and with Brion about having colds and how they SUCK. And Kyle just told me that uber was my word, lol thats funny! I haven't talked to him in forever. Okay so last night I had this dream that Chris Moffatt died. It was awful! I was talking to her in the hallway and then all of a sudden I hear that right after our convo she had a heart attack and died. Oh my gosh this black guy on CSI just called Horratio "homie" Ha ha ha! Well back to my dream. I was like what? A 17 year old girl having a heart attack? I was just bawling like a loser, I mean I grew up with the girl. I mean I am still growing up with her. ANyways. SO yeah then I was like who will be grad president? (which is dumb b/c Chris isn't even president, she's treasurer) And somehow I was and everything I did for grad was about Chris, like we had a slideshow all about her and stuff. It was weird. And then all day I was like "was that real? Is she dead?" Oh my gosh she just logged on MSN! So funny! I was like "BUT YOU"RE DEAD!" I should start a convo w/ her and be like "you're alive!" That might scare her tho. Anyhoo my eye is so itchy. And I need to sneeze.
I wish that I could play guitar. I watched "Josie and the Pussycats" today and now I want to play guitar and be in a band and be famous. I can write stuff, I just can't play it. I wish I could. Then I'd be all over, playing and singing for everyone. I mean I love performing. I feel the same way about it as Ash does about playing bball. Its like this huge rush where nothing else matters but that mircophone and the people in the audience. When they smile I feel like I've accomplished so much. I mean wanting the attention of a room, and getting it, and creating something beautiful all the same time...wow. Thats why I love choir. Meeting all these AMAZING and beautiful people, and bonding through something so magical and beautiful is so amazing! I just love it. Nothing feels like it. And its not even thinking, its just...feeling. Wow. Nothing can describe it. I wish I was famous, that'd be fun. LOL anyhoo my parents are home, so off I go! Toodles.

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