Friday, July 14, 2006

I So Hate Consequences

And I'm good, good, good to go - and I'm good, good, good to go! I got to get away, get away from all of my mistakes. So here I sit looking at the traffic lights. The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites. I want to run away, I want to ditch my life cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night. And after all of my alibis desert me I just want to get by I don’t want nothing to hurt me. I had no idea where my head was at but if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that? Because I just want for all of this to end. And I so hate consequences - running from You is what my best defense is. Consequences...God, don’t make me face up to this. And I so hate consequences - running from You is what my best defense is cause I know that I let you down, and I don’t want to deal with that. It just now hit me this is more than just a set back and when You spelled it out, well, I guess I didn’t get that. And every trace of momentum is gone and this isn’t turning out the way I want. And after all of my alibis desert me, I just want to get by I don’t want nothing to hurt me. I had no idea where my head was at but if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that? Because I just want for all of this to end. And I spent all last night tearing down every stoplight and stop sign in this town. Now I think there might be no way to stop me now, I'll get away despite the fact I’m so weighed down. All of my escapes have been exhausted. I thought I had a way but then I lost it, and my resistance was once much stronger. I know I can't go on like this much longer. When I got tired of running from You I stopped right there to catch my breath. There Your words they caught my ears You said, “I miss you son. Come home.” And my sins, they watched me leave and in my heart I so believed the love You felt for me was mine - the love I’d wished for all this time. And when the doors were closed I heard no 'I told you so’s'. I said the words I knew You knew; Oh God, Oh God I needed You. God all this time I needed You, I needed You. And I so hate consequences, running from you is what my best defense is. I hate these consequences cause I know that I let You down, and I don't wanna deal with that. Relient K.

2 comments:

Jadis said...

I apologize, this isn't about your post...I just wanted to say Thank you for your post on my blog. Sometimes, it's hard to keep being solid when life throws stuff at you but it helps when you're encourage and someone sees something in you that you sometimes can't see in yourself. You've always been there to lean on me and for some reason, that helps me. I admire your openess and ability to show your vulnerability. Sometimes I wish I had that. I love you to pieces!

cassie trumbley said...

hey baby... yeah i move in on august 1, so thats groovy right?? i'm so excited. today i was packing up like dish towels and sheets and silverware and stuff, and i was like, i'm so not at all a grownup!!! but i don't think you have to be grownup to you know, move out by yourself.... i know tons of people who do it and are not grownups. so yay. i am kind of scared though.... less so though, now that i've ran around vancouver and sort of seen whats there, now that i have a place to live... i'm excited. i miss you so. how are things??


(and also, how scared can you be when you live in a purple building?)