Brace Face No More

I got them off!! They are gone!!
My braces were taken off today! I'm undecided about that. I mean its totally awesome and everything, but when I look in the mirror all I see is teeth! They are so huge! I have so much of them! And they feel all slimy and smooth. Its so weird! Its a little silly, really. I almost miss the braces, but not enough to put them back on again! It sounded like he was breaking my teeth off when he took off the brackets...
Not much else to say really, I'm just happy they're off! I can't wait to see people! It will blow their minds! I just hope I get used to them soon, because I feel a little self concious about them and all. So anyhoo, talk at y'all later!

I got in!!!

I got in to the Outtatown program!! I'm in! Ashley and I both got in to the South African program!! We're gonna have so much fun together, I love her and I am so happy we both got it! Thank You God!!
I am scared, and worried about the money to pay for it, but if its what the Lord wants, He'll provide a way for me to go. I am so pumped, this is what I've wanted always, to go on a real missions trip and help people.
Thank You God!!

Let it All Out

Okay so today was the last day of school before Christmas holidays, PRAISE JESUS! School was getting to be too much. I hate it. Anyhoo, last night I went to bed at a decent hour, but I ended up listening to my Relient K CD on my head phones. I got to the song "Let it All Out" and I was like, wow, I love this song, so I played it again. And again. By that time I had really started listening to the words and the words just spoke to me. I mean the second verse, wow. So I was laying there, nodding emphatically along to the song, bawling my stupid head off. It was just that those were the words I needed, that no matter how crappy stuff gets, in the end it won't matter. God loves us no matter what. And in Him, there is strength. So I looked inside last night and found my strength. It was amazing.

Let it all out, get it all out
Rip it out, remove it
Don't be alarmed, when the wound begins to bleed
Cause we're so scared to find out
What this life's all about
So scared we're gonna lose it
Not knowing all along
That's exactly what we need
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
But tomorrow, upon hearing what I did I will stare at you in disbelief
Oh inconsistent me, crying out for consistency
And you said I know this will hurt
But if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember, the end will justify the pain it took to get us there
And I'll let it be known at times I have shown
Signs of all my weakness
But somewhere in me, there is strength
And you promise me that you believe
In time I will defeat this
Cause somewhere in me, there is strength
And today I will trust you with the confidence
Of a man who's never known defeat
And I'll try my best to just forget
That that man isn't me
Reach out to me
Make my heart brand new
Every beat will be for You, for You
And I know You know
You touched my life
When You touched my heavy heart and made it light...

Congradulations Ashley!! I'm so excited for you! Love ya to pieces!

Nothing Specific and Everything in General

So tonight was carolling. SO FUN! There were only like 12 of us, and it was tons of fun! We sang and Hazel gave us chocolate, which was so cute. Then we watched Elf at my house and talked forever. We also watched all these old movies we made for school until like 12:45. So it was a long youth group!
So today Henk called and said his plane was wrecked so no flying. I was saddened by that, but today was a good day so it was all cancelled out anyways.
Wow this is the worst post ever! But I don't even care! Tonight I asked Curtis to be my grad escort. He said yes! I was happy. I mean one less thingy to stress about. It wasn't even weird, and like I thought I'd have huge issues with how to word it. But nope, it just came out nicely. And he said yes, so all is well! Yay!
I am so tired, I have to go to bed.
I must say this though: I love all my friends! Like everyone, Ashley, Brynne, Curtis, Jodi, Henk, Adrienne, Allison, Ireen, Kaitlan, Lenny, Sarah, Brion and Mike. Even Josh. Seriously, hanging out with them is the happiest I ever am!
And Cass and Al - I MISS YOU SO MUCH! I had a dream about you last night, it made me sad because you're so far away. I love you guys, you are my SSS forever!
Toodles!

I'll Fly Away...

Wow, I have been neglecting my blog and for this I am extrememly sorry! Its been ridiculously busy. Bio is EVIL and it has been taking up alot of my time. And art too...
Anyhoo, last night was our church concert. It went well. Ireen was so cute and excited! She said it was her first church concert and she was totally cute and nervous before we sang. Ireen, Sarah, Kristin and I sang Silent Night. It went okay. Afterwards we had goodies and juice downstairs and I hung out with Addy, Allie, Jodi, Ireen, Curtis and Brion. It was so much fun! We did all these dumb things and ate way too much and talked and it was totally fun. Curtis was running around in my rainow scarf and mitts and it was very funny!
Today Henk invited me to go flying. Ashley and Brion are coming too. We're going aroud 2:00 this afternoon. I'm scared! I was really excited about it all week, and now I'm scared! I mean we could die! Wow, this is totally showing my lack of faith in Henk, who is a scary driver... But yeah I'm scared about it. I want to sit in the front. I've been flying once before and I sat in the back so I really really want to sit in the front. I hope Ashley and Brion will let me.
Tonight is carolling! My favorite Youth Group! I'm excited! We are singing and then coming to my house and eating and watching Elf. I've never seen it, I hope its good! But I think all my people are coming so I'm excited, its gonna be a good time! Today is just generally going to (hopefully) be a good day!
I should go get ready, I'm still in my pj's. And I think mom wants to go grocery shopping. So anyhoo I'm talk to y'all later!

The Weekend

Okay so this weekend has been fun. On Friday we went and saw Ocean's 12, which was extremely funny! Ashley and I like died laughing! NO MORE PICTURES! Ha ha! And yeah we embarassed ourselves by talking loudly and laughing through the whole movie. It was fun though. I sat inbetween Ashley and Brynne, and then Brion and Henk. It was fun!
Then we went to McDonalds at like 11:55 and they still made us food. I hadn't eaten yet, and Ashley and Brynne had only had ice cream, so we got food. I sat in the back with Ashley and Henk on the way home. We had to huddle for warmth, it was so cold! When we got to Minnedosa, there were police cars around due to an accident, and they stopped us. He was angry and actually kind of rude. I wouldn't be very happy standing out in the cold at 1:00 am either, I guess. But yeah, I got home around 1:20, and Henk gave me a hug! I think he did it just so he could hug Ashley, but oh well. Oh yeah, he asked her to be his escort on the way home too.
It was fun, but I felt like such a fifth wheel! I mean it was Brion and Brynne in the front, and they're going to grad together, and then Ashley and Henk all snuggly in the back. So I snuggled up against the cold door for comfort, lol. So that part wasn't so great...
Then on Saturday we went bowling with the Youth Group. It was fun! Yay Twinkletoes! Afterwards Brynne, Henk and Brion came over. That night we put up our tree! That was awesome. Our house is now officially Christmasified. I love it.
Then today was church and tonight's the church banquet. I think I'm going. Its gonna be some good food! So yeah thus was my weekend. Laters!

Happy Birthday Brion!

Oh, I've been neglecting my blog so much this week! But this week was a really crazy one! Today is my homeboy Brion's birthday - he's turning the big 1-8 today! Now he's an adult! Whoo! He can vote! I'm glad I can't vote yet, I hate politics. Anyways...
So yeah tonight the plan is that Brynne, Henk, Ashley, Brion and I are gonna go see Ocean's 12 to celebrate the kid's birthday. It will be a Gremlin trip, and its gonna be fun! I'm excited! I need to have fun (and a red bull) after such a long and exhausting week.
My mouth is so sore! I cut it all open inside on my braces...I think its from playing my trumpet, because that just about KILLS me. The band concert went awesomely well on Wednesday! We played 3 senior band songs and 3 jazz band songs. Our jazz band rocks, its just so much fun to be in! And Geordie, Eddie, and Benny Waddell played Carol of the Bells by Metallica. It was amazing! I would marry those boys, such talent! I mean seriously, talented and the nicest kids ever. Too bad they're all younger than me. They're just so cool and incredibly talented! Anyways, before people start getting creeped out...
So yeah I should go do some math. I got back my latest module today and I got 84% on it, so yay. They correcting people are stupid. All they ever say is "show your work!" And I AM! I mean like how much more could I possibly write, stupid woman. But yeah, at least I'm doing alright in it. I think I'm writing the midterm not next week, but the week after. Scary stuff. Then I'll do the second half and write the exam in the second week of February. Thats the plan, anyways.
Well I'd better go. Toodles noodles!

Red Bull Works!

Okay, so I have zero energy to post, so I'll write later.
Guess what? Today I was bored so I looked up what my name means. And with my first and middle names put together it means "God has been Gracious" "Fairy or Elf".
I find this to be inexplicably anusing. I mean I'm a fairy! Ashley was right all along! And so was Andrew the day he called me something mean...
I HAD THE FUNNEST WEEKEND EVER! And I only got 11 hours of sleep in 48 hours. I want to die I am so tired. I still have some bio to do, and then I'm off to bed! Ooh actually I really want a Red Bull...they are so addicting!
Laters gaters!

4 Hits and a Miss (plus 5 Queer Guys)

1. Topher Grace is totally my hero! I mean his name is Topher, how cool is that? And he's just so dorky cool, and he always plays such a nice guy, like on That 70's Show and Win a Date With Tad Hamilton. He's too cute! I just wanna marry him!
2. The guy from the "I've-grown-out-of" milk ads. I really hate that chick, but the guy is so cool, with lovely hair. And he doesn't pretend to rap, either. He's just too cool.
3. Josh Groban is amazing, its really completely sick how talented he is. I love him, his voice, and like all of his songs! Even the ones that aren't in English have beautiful translations. He just blows my mind - his talent is seriously not of this earth!
4. Ben Stiller is SO awesome! He always plays someone so awkwardly adorable, and I just wanna hug him! He's so funny and cute and seems like a really sweet guy. Plus he can totally re-invent himself and play just about anyone.
5. Ireen is such a sweetie! I just love her, she's my girl. We can just be like whatever and its all good. I'm totally glad we became friends, and I actually feel like she likes me, which is nice. I haven't heard her dis me or stuff I like yet, so all is good. He accent and grammer is so cute! I'm glad she's here this year and in my classes.
6. The Fab Five are so cool! I want to hang out with them! I almost wish I was a sloppy straight guy so they'd come over, beautify my house and take me shopping! Carson is so gross and funny, I love Kyan (he's so pretty!), Jai is totally cool, Thom is so talented and Ted is hilarious! I want to hang out with them and make them like me! They are so hilarious and their camaradrie is inexplicable. I just love them.

When You Say You Love Me

I LOVE THIS SONG!! Josh Groban is so fantastic! Sometimes I pretend he's singing this to me...lol I'm a loser!

Like the sound of silence calling
I hear your voice and suddenly I'm falling,
Lost in a dream
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words, my heart stops beating
I wonder what it means?
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move
At times I can hardly breathe

CHORUS:
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me,
For a moment, there's no one else alive

You're the one I've always thought of
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love
You're where I belong
And when you're with me if I close my eyes
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time
Somewhere between
The Heavens and Earth
I'm frozen in time
Oh, when you say those words

And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I
Celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.

When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and.
When you say you love me
In that moment I know why I'm alive.
When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?

Much Ado About Nothing

Wow, I haven't posted in ever! I never seem to have a spare moment. Anyways, hows it going? Last night I spent all night writing this essay for ELA. It was comparing To Kill a Mockingbird (really good book) and Of Mice and Men (really sad book). It was pretty easy, but very extremely long. Anyways, so yeah. And its a little crazy at my house, emotional wise. Everyone's kinda freaking out, which is understandable, but the tension is really high and weird. Anyways, I had a dentist appointment so I had to miss Jazz band, which sucks. I love Jazz band, and when Eddie plays Default music! But next month, on December 29th I get my braces off! Whee! I am so excited. And I love Josh Groban, holy crap. He's so pretty and talented! Like the song "When You Say You Love Me" is so amazing and I wish he was singing it at me! Wow! LOL anyways, this is dumb and I don't have much else to say. Oh except this: know who I like? Ireen. I think she's nice and fun to hang out with at school. We're totally friends. Anyways, better fly!
P.S. I wish I could fly! I am such a Peter Pan loser!

Clocks

Hello hello again. So today I woke up an hour earlier than usual because I can't tell time. So I suck and am exhausted! But I actually ate breakfast this morning and read some of To Kill A Mockingbird, which was nice.
I'm excited, because today I get my HOJA CD! They were so awesome! And yeah, there are three different ones and Sarah and Ashley and I are collectively getting them all, so we'll share! I'm excited. Okay so my lips have been so uber dry lately, its annoying! Especially after band class. And so I've been slathering vasoline on them (hot, I know) but it like soaks in in like 2 minutes. So I hafta keep slopping it on. Yuck, it tastes bad. So yesterday we went to the art gallery in Brandon and looked at two different shows. One was The Best Man by Riel Benn, and the other was Cowboys and Indians (and Métis?) by David Garneau. They were really good! The Riel Benn stuff was really weird though. It was kinda creepy. He's really talented, though. I guess he just likes to use his talent to paint weird things. Then we got to paint with acryllic paint, which is the bestest. That was fun too. And on the way back we listened to Brynne's Kalan Porter CD!! I love it! There are some really good songs! Kalan is so awesome and pretty and NOT girly (darn you, Kalan bashers!). I guess it was weird that I called him pretty and ungirly in the same sentence. I'm a freak. Anyways, off to do some dreaded math before going to dreaded art and then buying my HOJA CD! Whoo! Talk at y'all later!
P.S. Last night I said goodbye to Patches, the cat Brynne is taking care of. I love that cat and I will seriously miss her! I love having a cat, and she's so pretty and cuddly and cute! I'll post some pictures if they turn out.

Under Pressure

What to even say...not a whole lot is new. I am feeling SO STRESSED about my math! Like I am freaking out. I refuse to think about grad because what if I'm not there? What if I don't graduate? Why did this happen to me? I mean life would be so much less stressful if I didn't have this math thing hanging over my head. I could anticipate grad and be excited about it. Frick this sucks. And lately I feel like I've gained some weight, and I mean I usually don't care, but like I was starting to trim down and be comfortable with myself, and now all I see is yucky flab. And life is so crazy and stressful and I just want to die and be finished math! Why don't I have my sister's brain? She'd be done it by now, or at least she'd have passed Pre-Calc in the first place. Frick. I'm gonna go do math now.
Oh and by the way Brion and I made up yesterday. That took a long time! And he told me I was his best friend. :)

Food, Glorious Food

Okay so tonight was SO MUCH FUN! There was Youth Group, which I needed after such a crappy day. It was the progressive supper, and we had appetizers, ceasar salad, potato soup, roast beef with potatoes and gravy, and turtle cake. Everything was inexplicably yummy! Then we had the devotion at my house. There were 28 teens squished into my living room. It was insane! Afterwards we all went outside and hung out and lots of people left. Brion, Brynne, Henk, Codie, Kate and I walked down to the church. Then Codie and Kate left, and the rest of us cruised in Henk's truck. It was totally frightening! He's a horrible driver, I gotta say. But it was so fun too. Then we dropped off Brion and the three of us talked and cruised in the Gremlin. That was so awesome! I mean Henk and I haven't bonded since...grade 10. And he was like yeah, I'm gonna take you guys flying! I was so excited! And we're gonna go see a movie sometime too. And then he told me I was awesome to talk to, and that was nice! We listened to Em and totally had a good time. We just cruised and had Gremlin moments, which are the best kind. One of the few that don't involve Dean! Thats a good thing. Anyways, so yeah it was totally awesome and I didn't get home until like, 11:00. Brynne was whining about how she had to get home, but I don't really blame her cause her dad's home and she had a 10 minute drive. But yeah it was totally awesome and tonight made my weekend. Anyways, I should go to bed so I can get up for church.
Night all!

The Nylons (and other good stuff)

So yesterday was actually a pretty good day, after all. We got our report cards, and I have 90% in ELA, 66% in Bio, 93% in Art, 89% in Band and 95% in Jazz Band. Good enough, I say! Well Bio could definately be brought up alot. So thats one to work on, but other than that, good on me! And last night The Nylons were at the theatre. I just about FREAKED they were so freaking amazing! I'm listening to their CD right now actually - I even got it signed. They are so amazing, and they wore funny sparkly shirts and danced all silly. And they were so hilarious! Everytime they spoke everyone was laying in the aisles laughing! They were just so totally awesome, what extraordinary talent. That was probably the best talent to ever be on that stage. Wow, they were amazing! And so many people I knew were there. Like David and Trevor, Hannah, Julia, and all these Dinner Theatre people. I miss them! They all came and talked to me and told me they missed me. They all wanted to know what I was up to, and I was like wow, I miss Dinner Theatre! Anyways, so I got home at like 10:45, so then I did my bio until late, so I am super tired today. I think Brynne and I are gonna watch a movie tonight. Yay the OC is on! Adam Brody! Right on. Later!

Me Against the World

So today I woke up and decided I was gonna do what I wanted and not care what anyone said. So I got up and thought I'd wear sweatpants - its all about comfort, baby! I also decided to vent through my eye make up. They say the eyes are the window to the soul, right? LOL. So I'm wearing like an inch thick of black eyeliner on both lids. I think it looks cool, actually. And I wore my Westman hoodie because it makes me happy. I need to feel happy because today is report card day.
Plus last night I had a fight with Brion. He was being such a boy about everything too, which made me more mad than I already was. I thought he was better than that, that we were different and he didn't have to act like a moron with me. But I guess we slipped. As Avril Lavigne would say, we lost it. LOL! Oh, Avril. Anyways, I'm off to do some more math, and then I have band instead of art! Yay!
Oh and I had a bio test today and thought it went pretty well.
And I'm listening to Josh Groban....hee hee I love him!

"The Dirt"

Okay, so I haven't done a real post in a while, so here goes.
Life had been alright lately I guess. I'm been in the crappiest of crappy moods lately and everyone seems to be trying my patience and pushing all the wrong buttons. And now I am remembering why I'm not friends in a group of 3. Because I always end up being the one feeling left out. Like the other two are way tighter than you and have all these inside jokes that are mentioned all the time. I hate when someone treats you a certain way to make you feel special and then does it to someone else too. I mean, that just makes me feel cheap. Everything seems to be disappointing me too. My friends, school, myself. I am freaking out about report cards like you would not believe! Yuck. I just don't like school, and I'm overtired and WAY behind in my math and really starting to feel the pressure now. And why haven't they contacted us about Drama yet? Why did I dream about Blaine and David? Why is my head so itchy? These are the questions that haunt me frequently. Well I'm off to do some math and then go to art class (joy).
Wow this was mopey and stupid. Sorry everyone.

Remember When It Rained

Josh Groban is the most talented person alive. I swear. He just blows my mind. Last night he sang "Remember When It Rained" on the AMA's. It was amazing! He like held this one note forever and it was so glorious and beautiful. And just effortless too! Oh wow I love him! So here they are, the lyrics for an amazing and beautiful song sung by someone who gets way less credit and respect as an artist than he deserves!

Wash away the thoughts inside
That keep my mind away from you
No more love and no more pride
And thoughts are all I have to do

Oh, remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Oh, remember when it rained
In the darkness I remain

Tears of hope run down my skin
Tears for you that will not dry
They magnify the one within
And let the outside slowly die

Oh, remember when it rained
I felt the ground and looked up high and called your name
Oh, remember when it rained
In the water I remain

Running down...
Ah ah ah ah ah na na
Na na na na na na na na na
Oh oh ah oh ah na na
Running down...

I Celebrate the Day

by Relient K
I find this song so incredibly moving and wonderful...

With this Christmas wish is missed
The point I could convey
If only I could find the words to say to let you know
How much you've touched my life because
Here is where you're finding me
In the exact same place as New Years Eve
And from the lack of my persistency
We're less than half as close as I wanna be

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?

And so this Christmas I'll compare
The things I've felt in prior years
To what this midnight made so clear
That you have come to meet me here

To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me
And the hope that
That you give
That you were born so I might really live
To look back
And think that
This baby would one day save me…

And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?
And the first time that you opened your eyes
Did you realize that you would be my Savior?
And the first breath that left your lips
Did you know that it would change this world forever?

And I celebrate the day
That you were born to die
So I could one day
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life
Pray for you to save my life

Relient K Rocks My Socks!

Hey all. Nothing really new to report about. I was listening to my Relient K CD today when I was doing math. I love them! Really, they are my favorite band ever, they are so talented and awesome. They can be hilarious, and then sing something so moving and thought provoking that it just blows me away. It just rocks my socks. I mean there's this song on their Christmas CD called "I Celebrate the Day" and its so wonderfully moving. They make me feel like I can just open my ears and listen and hear God speak. I mean their lyrics are all about how we're normal, and we screw up, but God loves us so much that He just embraces us and loves and forgives us through all our crappy times. And I so need to hear that. I love Matt Theisson. He's my hero. His voice is just beautiful, like the words he writes. Anyways, everyone should go out and buy "Mmhhmm" and "Deck the Halls, Bruise Your Hand" because they ROCK!
GO RELIENT K!