Franklin Graham Festival

Man I have so much to say about it, but so little at the same time...hmm. I think I will wait until I can put pictures up on here. So yes, I will wait.

I will say that it was astounding seeing so many people turn to Christ! Amazing! And Newsboys, and okay I will post later!!
EDIT:
Here are some pictures for your enjoyment!

The huge sign in front of me...there was over 1000 people in the choir, it was sweet!
Me and my lovely friend Janelle managed to sit together - yay!
Franklin on the big screen. I don't think I really like his approach to get people to turn to Christ (ei decribing hell, condemnation, etc) but obviously he's doing some great work for the Lord and it is working - people are definitly coming to God by going to these events. I just hope that he remains sensitive to God's voice and that it is only God who gives him his words. I don't know how I would've felt if I wasn't a Christian. I thought it was great to have him in the city, hopefully touching many lives.
CASTING CROWNS! OH MY WORD! They were SO good!!
So was M. Dub, and Newsboys and Tree63. And Paul Brandt! So good live! I totally enjoyed him. And Terrell was so cute watching him, aww. Okay but the big story is that only ppl with wristbands could get into the pit for Newsboys and Tree63, and yet Janelle, Jessica, Terrell and I managed to get there. All we said was, "we're in the choir" and they let us go! Jesus wanted us to be there! It was sweet! I moshed like a tool, the Newsboys sang all these songs of theirs I knew, like Breakfast, Shine, He Reigns, and man it was SWEET! And he had so many great things to say, man! But yeah that was amazing. The worship this weekend ROCKED MY SOCKS. I have never worshiped God in that way before, I don't think. Thank you Tommy Walker!
All the people in the middle came down for alter call - so many souls were won for Jesus this weekend! Amazing! It was an astounding sight.
Terrell, Caryn and myself eating some canning curtesy of Baba - we missed a few meals at the festival and they sure hit the spot.

Of course I am fasting now for the week of solidarity - one cup of rice and a half a cup of lentils plus three slices of bread equals my daily quota of food. So I miss the canning...and I could go for a burger right now. Hmm...but yeah, the weekend was a little bit crazy and rushed but generally a success! Praise God for it all!

Unique or Unpopular?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Okay so I totally stole this from Allison Lennox's blog, but I was curious. Did you know that:

There are 14,998 people in the U.S. with the first name Janna.
Statistically its the 1,495th most popular first name. (tied with 85 other first names)
More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Janna are female.

There are 4,859 people in the U.S. with your last name.
Statistically the 7,052nd most popular last name. (tied with 59 other last names)

I find this whole thing hilarious. I very very unique right now, whoo!

Find yours out and tell me how many of you there are!

Cycles

So lately all my school work has been about cycles:

In Bib Lit, we disuss the sin cycle in one of our textbooks.

In Bio, cellular respiration.

In choir we sing the same 3 songs over and over again.

In Psych we discuss sleep cycles. Who knew that we have four stages of sleep, and the average person goes through them in 90 minutes? And how you feel when you wake up is based on which cycle of sleep you woke up in. So when you nap for an hour, you can still feel tired because you woke up in your third or fourth cycle (the heavier ones). But when you nap for 3 hours, you'll feel refreshed. So last night I tested it. I stayed up an hour later then I would've liked to in order to sleep for around six hours so I'd wake up in the beginning of a cycle so it'd be easier to get up. Totally works. I am a little tired, but generally my energy has been a lot better today. I feel good. So rock on with the sleep cycle! Whoo!

EDIT: Terrell just came and said that we have a ride to choir practise tonight, so we're gonna be in the choir at the Franklin Graham festival this weekend! I am so excited!

Uh, Yeah, Hair...

So this week has been good...rainy, grey and thus making me feel drained, but alright so far. Plus I dyed Caryn's hair, and that was exciting, and last night Chaput dyed my hair! Red and black, whoo! Plus, as you can see - I got bangs! Whoa! Scary and exciting. At least she can help me style it...ha ha. Well I should go eat supper so later gaters!

Soy Good!

nothing makes me happier than a surprise-
especially when that surprise is chocolate
soy milk given to me by my bestest friend.
good ole bakes!

It's Snowing!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so many things that I'm thankful for and probably shouldn't try to list them, but here's an attempt:

that i can suck so often and God still loves me, that i am healthy in most ways, my amazing family and wonderful friends who stick by me through everything (even when i'm grumpy), last year's experience that i can carry with me forever, my awesome boyfriend who loves me unconditionally and always makes me feel beautiful, my eyes and ears that see and hear God speak in small and unusual ways, my hometown (I LOVE IT) and that i could spend the weekend here, that i have the opportunity to learn and to do so in a Christian environment, for the gift and power of prayer, for comfy beds, being able to sing, and for new mercies and joys that each day brings.

There are so many more, but I have to go set the table for supper.

Hope your weekend was blessed.

It's Skirt Day!

Happy Skirt Day, ladies!

-p.s. this was taken today is ash's room-

Tueday's End

ah, tuesday is almost over.

after 3 tests and an-almost doctor's appointment, i feel ready to fall down dead of exhaustion and stress.

i got an a- on my theatre perfromance! woot.
and bio was way easier than i thought.
and to the doctor on thursday.

but tonight, sleep.

ah, sweet rem cycle, how i missed thee.

EDIT: yay for curry for supper! and for two wonderful friend and my awesome boyfriend.

why is my room so cold?

MJ's the MAN

Michael Jackson makes studying for bio so much more fun.

Yay for my textbook! Its actually helping me understand somewhat.

The Craziness of Life

So life has been crazy lately - but good! This past weekend was so busy, but so amazing at the same time. Janice and Brynne came over on Friday night and a bunch of us watched Fierce Creatures (so good!) and that was grand. Then Saturday...

Well the funny thing I woke up and was just lying around, and Mae knocks on my door. She's like, are you going to breakfast? I'm like, no. She's like oh, well we should go together soon. And I'm like, well I'm going to do laundry. So I changed my sheets, did laundry, cleaned my room and my bathroom, vaccuumed, it was really quite productive. Then I put on a skirt and looked pretty and went with Caryn and Mae to lunch. Terrell showed up, and I mean it was our 6 month anniversary that day so I thought we'd probably do something but I didn't know what. After lunch he's like, lets go to the Forks. So we bussed there (it was fun) and spent the day together walking around and just hanging out, which was amazing. We had frozen yougurt, and that was good. People had gotten married that day and were getting their picture taken on the bridge. Brynne played chauffeur and picked us up and drove us back to CMU. When we got back my room was decorated with candles everywhere and romantic music was playing, and there was a sweet letter from Baker, Caryn and Mae. It was so cute! So we hung out for like 15 minutes until going to inhale supper. And then off to choir!

So we ran off, did the homecoming ceremony (which we sang amazingly at, by the by!), and after that all these OT people came over plus Brynne and we hung out and ate fruit trays. It was so fun, and I stayed up way to late, but it was all-around an incredible day and I was very glad to get to spend it with Terrell.

Sunday there was a worship thing that night, plus I got cookies from my mom which are almost gone b/c they are so popular and yummy! And now this week is school. Last night I represented CMU along with Bakes, Caryn, Mike and Glenn by scooping ice cream for 400+ students at a youth event at some church. It was fun! My wrist hurt, but w/e. It was funny and Caryn and I had a juice chugging contest...ew. And then last night I talked to 3 Outtatowners from this year (Site 3 baby) and that was so FUN! I was so excited to answer their questions and hear their stories, it was sweet. After that was an hour of girly fun with Chaput and Caryn, putting on mud masks. Funny photos ensued. It was such a fun night!

I should go do some psych. I have class in an hour...I love that class!

Life is Crazy

I am officially reading responsed out.

After 4 hours of homework I am going to watch Batman Begins off of a projector against the apartment buildings.

And I'm going to enjoy it!

Sorry guys, I'll try to post more often. Life just gets in the way.

Will You Be There?

As I fall to sleep will You comfort me?
When my heart is weak will You rescue me?
Will You be there as I grow cold?
Will You be there when I'm falling down?
Will You be there?
When I'm in retreat can I run to You?
Will my pain release at Your mercy seat?
Will You be there as I grow cold?
Will You be there when I'm f a l l i n g down?
Will You be there my heart grows cold?
Will You be there when I'm falling down?
Are You saying yes I gotta believe it?
Are You saying yeah?
When Your love comes down I can rest my eyes
Feel Your grace and power flood into my life
As my brokenness and Your strength collide
When Your love comes d o w n
Falling down
As I fall to sleep
As I grow cold
Will You be there?
My heart grows cold

Will You be there when I'm falling down?

I love this song. Skillet rocks you should download it.

Love and All That Jazz

1 John 4:7 - 12

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him.

This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us.

I love the idea that by simply loving each other, God's love is made complete. These days I think love is the only thing getting me through life.

Too Pooped to Poop

Whoa, thats a lot of 'o's...

I am officially packed.

And officially exhausted.

And so excited and afraid to move to Winnipeg tomorrow!

And beyond excited to see Outtatown peeps!!

Now off to a coke and Remember the Titans with Caryn.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

A huge, ginormous and love-filled

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

going out to the one and only Nargus! Whoo!

Welcome the Wiebes!

So Terrell and his parents came, saw, and took...off to Brandon around 9:00 tonight. They got here early this afternoon for an exciting day of visiting, eating, playing frisbee and volleyball and a tour of the Strathclair museum! It was a great day, and inexpleciably amazing to see Terrell. I gave him his birthday gift and he liked it, which was exciting, and we watched a beautiful sunset from the top of the water plant. He got a ride back with my brother so he got to stay a bit longer than them, which was sweet. This visit made me realise how freaking excited I am to go to CMU and seriously, see him everyday...this is going to be great. Having him leave sucked, I mean I wish he could've stayed all week, but I get to see him either Friday(!) or next Monday...

My life is beautiful.

Here's a picture of me and Terrell just for you, Tina! Feel special!

Worn Out

So, VBS is done and life can continue as normal. Well, seeing as I only have 2 weeks exactly until I move into res, normal will be a little different than usual. My sister came home today, and my brother has two days off so he's here too. Its nice to have people home again.

VBS was great - I feel really blessed to have been a part of it. I love the kids, their eagerness and innocence. I mean there was this one kid, a boy from my class, and he was autistic. He was so great, to see him doing his interpretations to the actions to all the songs. It was something really beautiful to see, and I was totally moved and blessed by his presence at VBS.

Still recooperating from VBS. On the final day, which went really well by the way, Brynne and I went to Brandon to see the late show of Step Up with Sarah. SO FUN. And also very enjoyable the second time. Then we went to Sarah's house and spent the night. After hours of head banging, laughing, and girl talk we hit the sack. I was exhausted! Wow. I slept in until around 10:30, and we had breakfast and played with her dog. Next to Walmart, where fireman, pictures and Starbucks greeted us. That night when we got home we dug around in my play room and found all my Polly Pockets (!) and Barbies. It was excellent, we played with them with my mom.

Sunday night was equally fun and tiring, going to Bakes' and eating, socializing and staying up way to late with people I love to be around. The best part was talking around the camp fire, just sitting on the grass. I liked hearing Doug's stories and Joshua as always was entertaining. I got home around 2:00 am last night and am pooped today. But fun times!

And then today Caryn called me!! It made me so happy to talk to her! I am so excited to see her in like 2 weeks!

In closing, I would like to wish a huge happy birthday to my boy, Terrell! Have an excellent day! Do you feel any older? :) And I get to see you in one week today. Thats happy.

YES! I KNEW IT!

And the winner is...

BENJI SCHWIMMER!!

Yes, thats right, my boy Benji KILLED IT and totally WON, which is what I said he'd do from his first audition! I loved him even then, and just KNEW he was good enough, no AMAZING enough to earn the title "America's Favorite Dancer."

I am SO PROUD of him! And glad that he's used this experience for all its worth, from growing and stretching as a dancer to meeting Donyelle...

Donyelle's final words on stage broke me. She is amazing. I wish all of the final four the very best - and I know I'll see you again!!

10 Reasons to See Step Up

1. Great dancing! Seriously! Makes you wanna join in!
2. Its the first ballet-meets-hip hop movie I've seen without any grinding. Usually these movies have rap songs with tons of swearing and lots of 'raunchy' dancing, but this was good clean fun.
3. The actors did all their own dancing, which is sweet.
4. Jenna Dewan's clothes. They change often and are usually sweet.
5. The little sister and the orange juice. Too cute!
6. To see Nora dump that singing guy - seriously the first scene he was in set of my gaydar. Take a look at those eyebrows! Yikes!
7. Mario is in it, but he doesn't sing! I appreciate that.
8. Channing Tatum (he talks like he's not white and he cries, dawg!)
9. The special moments! So special, like when they're rehearsing and they stop and just hug, or when they're talking in the kitchen. Man, so feel good and special!
10. Channing Tatum - nuff said.

oh yeah by the way these are all girl reasons, basically. :)

"Uh, Your Food's Ready"

Yesterday was SO FUNNY. Brynne came over and we watched So You Think You Can Dance (yep, I taped it) and it was grand. Then we started watching this CD she burnt me of music videos/performances of two of my favorite males, Kalan Porter and Clay Aiken, plus Hanson and the BSB. That was like a total blast from the past and so much fun! Henk came over during this, and definitely made snyde remarks etc during.
My parents left. After the DVD was done, we watched footage of us in grade 10 at Festival de Voyageur. It was super embarassing and funny. Then we sat and talked until we decided we wanted ice cream.
On the way to get ice cream I realised that Henk's upper arm is ticklish. What is that? I mean who has ticklish shoulders? It was so funny, I definitely milked that knowledge for all its worth. When we got to Hamiota for ice cream, I could see the girl working at the drive inn was looking out the window for some people who've ordered. So I said to her, "Do you want me tell them their food is ready?" She's like, "yeah, the guy and girl in a truck." So I thought, you know, random act of kindness, easy enough to do. Sincerely, AS I walk over to them, the girl leans in and...making out ensues!

So, at this point, I'm standing outside the window, looking in at whats going on. So I turn around, and look at Henk and Brynne who mildly disturbed and mostly entertained. The pentecostal minister and his wife looked mildly horrified. I didn't know what to do, so I turned around and with my back to them tapped on the glass. The girl pulled away really fast and slapped her hand over her mouth. I was like, "uh, your food's ready." And then I walked away dying laughing. He got out of the car, avaoided eye contact with all of us and mumbled thanks. Then he and Sugar Lips peeled out of there, me howling with laughter on the side walk. Man that was great.

Then we walked around town a bit, but it was actually really cold. Leanna's boyfriend Doug drove by us and stopped to chat for a bit. Then we got back in Henk's truck and onward to Lagoonville, where we hung out at my Baba's and chatted with my Aunty Vimy. It was pretty much the awesomest day ever.

Mary Murphy

She's irritating, and I believe she's drunk most of the time, but BOY! do I love this woman. The show is not the same without her, she just cracks me up! This video is actually one of the funniest things I've ever seen, I was kicking my feet and crying laughing! I love Mary! They only missed when she snorted in Nigel's ear - that was a classic moment!



An check out this beautiful video about Allison and Ivan made by the lovely Taylor. She makes some great videos, I don't know how she find time to make them all. Check out her website all about the show where I get all my SYTYCD news.

Create your own video for free at http://www.onetruemedia.com/create?&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=embed

Yes, I know, more SYTYCD videos. What can I say? I'm obsessed! Plus there's only one more week left of it, so I'm allowed.

Road Trip!

So this weekend I went to Winnipeg with Brynne. So fun! And not scary. We drove through the city and everything and never got lost. It was sweet! Plus on the way home we stopped in Plumas (!) to see the church where we used to practise for The Show. That was so awesome, we took pictures with the sign. Here there are for your viewing pleasure, along with pictures of me pumping my own gas (!) and see how I got it on $20.00 exactly? I am amazing.

EDIT: Okay so my comp is being dumb, I will attach the pix when I can.

Feel the Love

Free video hosting, video codes at www.vidiLife.com

The Best of Benji & Donyelle

So Benjelle, as they are so affectionately called, pretty much rock my socks, they are so in love. Watch this beautiful, special, pecial movie about them and you'll agree!

*thanks Taylor for the video*

Birthday Silly-ness

Pick the month you were born:
January - I kicked
February - I loved
March - I smoked
April - I bought
May - I choked on
June - I murdered
July - I did the Macarena with
August - I had lunch with
September - I danced with
October - I sang to
November - I yelled at
December - I ran over

Pick the day (number) you were born on:
1 - a birdbath
2 - a monster
3 - a phone
4 - a fork
5 - a thong
6 - a gangster
7 - my cell phone
8 - my dog
9 - my best friends' brother
10 - my neighbor
11 - my science teacher
12 - a banana
13 - a fireman
14 - a stuffed animal
15 - a goat
16 - a pickle
17 - your mom
18 - a spoon
19 - myself
20 - a baseball bat
21 - a ninja
22 - Chuck Norris
23 - a noodle
24 - a squirrel
25 - a football player
26 - my sister
27 - my brother
28 - an I-pod
29 - a permanent marker
30 - a llama
31 - my retainer

Pick the color of shirt you are wearing:
White - because I'm cool like that.
Black - because that's how I roll.
Pink - because I want to be popular.
Red - because the voices told me to.
Blue - because I'm sexy and I do what I want.
Green - because you smell.
Purple - because I'm cool.
Gray - because I was drunk.
Yellow - because someone offered me 1,000,000 dollars.
Orange - because I love a challenge.
Brown - because I was high.
Other - because I'm a ninja.
None - because I can’t control myself.

Now type out the sentence you made as a comment for me!

Fun Weekend

So I was in the 'Peg this weekend. It was fun, I drove there myself all by myself! So that was exciting and really easy. I got to my sister's on Friday around 3:30, and we had supper and went mini golfing with her boyfriend Tyler's family. I definitely won if thats what a high score meant - ha ha ha. Anyhoo, then we hung out at his parent's house and I met his brother who is super funny. The next day I hung out with Tyler all day, it was sweet! We went to The Flag Store, where I bought a nice sized SA flag and a pin and some stickers. We were in there for like half an hour or more, we're such nerds but it was fun. Then we got some 7-11 slurpees and watched Clue at KB's house. After that we cruised the Outtatown website and I showed Tyler the pictures from out site. Then I made us supper (grilled cheese) and we watched Sleepover. I love that movie! The brother makes that film, its awesome. Tyler totally enjoyed it, I could tell. We picked my sister up from work and went to the St. Vital Mall and watched "Lady in the Water". I know, many people will say that it sucks, and they have reason, I'm sure. But I totally liked it! It is nothing like the previews or the trailer. It was such a feel good movie. It had good characters, who all bonded together while figuring out their purpose in life and you rooted for them. The ending was good, I love Paul Giamatti, and thats that. Anyhoo, on Sunday we went to church with Jono, who's swell, to this place called Soul Sanctuary. I liked it, I'd go again. Lunch afterwards was hilarious - BEV! And I almost spewed many things out of my nose, it was great.

Then on to Open Mic, the OT reunion bbq thing. So fun! So cool to see so many people who I love and missed. Everyone looked great! And we all hung out and talked and ate and it was so fun. And Blayne Griener remembered me! He called me Sparkplug! It was excellent, I found out that Jared and Janice are going out, and that was good. We went out for ice cream at Sargent Sundae and then hung out at Zach's house. That was sweet, hanging with Allison and singing with Janice. I also got to talk to Terrell on the phone which was sweet b/c it was our 4 month anniversary yesterday. I felt almost like he was there, being on the phone with him around everyone else. That was great. Allison drove me home and I came home this afternoon. It was sweet, and I only have 9 more days of work! Whoo! Have a great week everyone.

So You Think You Can Dance?

I love So You Think You Can Dance. I'm addicted. It is my favorite show, ever. I love the contestants, oh my word. Like Ivan and Allison? I can't wait for them to get married, they are obviously in love. That contempory dance they did to Annie Lennox was astounding, I was moved. And Donyelle and Benji, so cute, they just adore each other. I must say I also love to watch Travis dance - its very natural for him to move the way he does. And his hair is stellar. I am really rooting for these guys, I feel like I truely care for them. I laugh with them, cheer with them, cry with them, and feel genuinely like a proud mother when they succeed.

I need to get a life.

Au Revoir, Kevin

It is with great sadness that I report the latest BSB news - Kevin Richardson has quit the band. I think its best to hear it in his own words:

"After 13 years of what can only be described as a dream come true, I have decided that it is time to leave the Backstreet Boys. It was a very tough decision for me but one that was necessary in order to move on with the next chapter of my life. Howard, Brian, Alex and Nick will always be my little brothers and have my utmost love and support. I would like to thank the Backstreet fans for all the beautiful memories we have shared together and look forward to including you in the next phase of my life. I wish my brothers continued success and look forward to their new album.”

Well I think that stinks. Why are they even continuing? I can totally see why he quit though, I mean the man is 34 and probably doesn't want to be called a 'boy' anymore, but still. Oh well, Brian was always my favorite one anyway. Apparently lots of fans are angry about it - I must say I'm glad I got the BSB obsession out of the way in grade 8. Otherwise I would be traumatized.

I So Hate Consequences

And I'm good, good, good to go - and I'm good, good, good to go! I got to get away, get away from all of my mistakes. So here I sit looking at the traffic lights. The red extinguishes the hope that the green ignites. I want to run away, I want to ditch my life cause all of my mistakes keep me awake at night. And after all of my alibis desert me I just want to get by I don’t want nothing to hurt me. I had no idea where my head was at but if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that? Because I just want for all of this to end. And I so hate consequences - running from You is what my best defense is. Consequences...God, don’t make me face up to this. And I so hate consequences - running from You is what my best defense is cause I know that I let you down, and I don’t want to deal with that. It just now hit me this is more than just a set back and when You spelled it out, well, I guess I didn’t get that. And every trace of momentum is gone and this isn’t turning out the way I want. And after all of my alibis desert me, I just want to get by I don’t want nothing to hurt me. I had no idea where my head was at but if my heart says I’m sorry can we leave it at that? Because I just want for all of this to end. And I spent all last night tearing down every stoplight and stop sign in this town. Now I think there might be no way to stop me now, I'll get away despite the fact I’m so weighed down. All of my escapes have been exhausted. I thought I had a way but then I lost it, and my resistance was once much stronger. I know I can't go on like this much longer. When I got tired of running from You I stopped right there to catch my breath. There Your words they caught my ears You said, “I miss you son. Come home.” And my sins, they watched me leave and in my heart I so believed the love You felt for me was mine - the love I’d wished for all this time. And when the doors were closed I heard no 'I told you so’s'. I said the words I knew You knew; Oh God, Oh God I needed You. God all this time I needed You, I needed You. And I so hate consequences, running from you is what my best defense is. I hate these consequences cause I know that I let You down, and I don't wanna deal with that. Relient K.

The Gummy Hotdog

Behold.

Is this even food? I mean what does this do to a person's body? Thats so wrong! I'm only a little concerned that children all over North America are consuming these as we speak. But really which is worse for them? These or actual hotdogs?

Summer Saturdays

I love Saturdays in Strathclair in the summer. You can hear the buzzing of a lawn mower steadily from about 9:00 am to 9:00 pm. The air smells like freshly cut grass and BBQ. The temperature is so warm, but there is a nice breeze so it is bearable to sit outside. People are watering their gardens, their grass, their flowers. Wearing fun woven sun hats. Kids are everywhere on their bikes, all over the road, on the side walk, racing down to Hal's (or J & P's) to buy popsicles or buy a coke. Main Street is busy with people taking advantage of the day and buying the week's groceries, filling the car with gas and getting their mail. Old ladies are getting their hair done. People everywhere are stopped on the side walk, catching up and seeing how everyone's week went. They start in twos, but soon end up in clusters of four or five. People are walking everywhere, just enjoying the day. And there are always two trucks parked in the middle of the road, the drivers lost in conversation about how their fields are doing, gas prices, and whether we need more rain or not. There are puddles on the road from sprinklers, and birds and squirrels sassing each other in the trees. Children haul eachother around in red wagons, and there is a general sense of relaxation and peace in the air. And whether you are heading out to the lake for a swim, or driving home on the ride on lawn mower, you will be sure to get a huge smile and a wave from all you meet, because this is summer in Strathclair.

Will I? by Ill Harmonics

Will I truly make for myself a name? Will I ever excel in this game? Will I ever really be who I be? A person, a Christian, musician, emcee? Will I ever truly be set apart from the world that controls all the sounds of my heart? Will I ever really make it without going pop? Am I truly sold out to God or hip-hop? Will I ever find the balance of the two in between? Am I whack cause I dig Rage Against the Machine? Will I make it to the point where I can be me? Will heads like me if I'm dissed by a dope emcee? Will I love, will I fly, will I rapture, will I die? Am I dumb, am I numb, cause the apple of my eye is the sound of the found, do I search for a pound? Am I down if dat ain't found when turned around? Will I grow, learning to do better in my sessions? Am I whack if I break down and take guitar lessons? If I don't use metaphors, will rhymes be silly? Will they really? Will I truly make for myself a name? Will I ever excel in this game? Will I ever really be who I be? A person, a Christian, musician, emcee? Here I am askin' all the questions of life. Do I love her enough to really make her my wife? Will I ever fall just one too many times that I lose all my skill, thus affecting my rhymes? Will my actions ever match up to my rap? Will I make one hit and then fall off the map? Am I not a good enough emcee for my God? Cause my rhymes ain't the best but I still try hard. Will I be looked on as the opposite of good? Cause a middle class white-kid don't come from the hood. And the ghetto, I ain't really that familiar with. Should I throw in my mic and towel just to quit? If I changed one decision with one human being would I still be practicing this art of emcee'n'? Am I a musician if I play the MPC? Not really. Will I truly make for myself a name? Will I ever excel in this game? Will I ever really be who I be? A person, a Christian, musician, emcee? Will I reach the full potential of my plan? If I turn around is there two prints in the sand? If I lost a battle rap would I still have fans left? To sing and play guitar, do I gotta be Clef? Am I doubtin' His word if I stop to think? Will my pen one day just stop producin' ink? Will I think of rhymes just to one day stop? Is a head a head if he likes more than hip-hop? Will I?

This song is by Ill Harmonics, this white rapper I saw at Sunshine Fest in 2001. He was awesome! Download this song, its sweet and funny.

My Feet

My feet are so nasty. Calloused, hard, blistered and gross. Dry and peeling. Tired, sore, sometimes ticklish. Deformed by a horse’s hoof. My toes are so messed up, some of them turn in, some of them turn out. They are too long, like fingers that got misplaced and ended up on my feet. And my feet are so stinkin’ huge I trip on them all the time! They are constantly cold and sometimes blue-ish as a result.

But my feet have danced. In jazz shoes, in socks, sneakers. Barefoot in the rain. Onstage. In my kitchen. They’ve walked on beaches, on gravel, on broken glass. On and off airplanes. Hiked mountains in hardcore hiking boots. My feet have saved lives. Seriously, whether they were running for help or being grabbed while the rest of me swam towards rocks at Mdumbi, they’ve assisted. They’ve supported me when I really needed them to. They’ve walked through Kliptown, being stepped on by little children. Been coated in paint. They’ve been washed by loving hands. They’ve been penetrated with sand and kissed by the ocean. They’ve run, free and swift. They were trampled during small group challenge; they’ve climbed trees. Jumped the leap of faith and rappelled down a waterfall. They’ve taken me to seven different countries in one year.

I wouldn’t trade them for the world.

Disgusted

Ok, so yesterday I went to Brandon with Brynne and Henk. We saw "Over the Hedge" which was somehow funnier the second time. Man I love that movie! It was a fun day, hanging out and not being scared by Henk driving. Then we went to Wal-Mart and I got the new Billy Talent CD (totally good!). It was only $12 too, so that was sweet. And I got this killer t-shirt - this part is the part that offends me.

Definitely picked it out of the plus-size section. Now I'm not really upset that I bought something 'plus' sized, I'm mostly irritated that a shirt that size would be considered 'extra' large. Its not even large at all! What is up with society? No wonder girls feel fat and hideous most of the time, if a normal sized shirt is considered extra large!

And on ET they were counting down the favorite 'all-American' in celebrities, and number one was definitely Jennifer Aniston. I am SICK of her! Sick of reading about her, hearing about her, seeing her stupid face in magazines, just SICK of HER. What has she done, with all her money and fame? Complained, played a victim. What about helping real victims, Jen? What about all those kids dying of AIDS and starving b/c they have no parents? Those kids without shoes, living on gang-ridden streets? What about those kids in Kliptown, the ones who have nothing yet possess everything? Look around you, North America, there is more to life than what Jennifer Aniston said about Angelina Jolie or what she wore yesterday. That sickens me more than anything.

Past, Present, Future?

Past

Present

Future?

The Good Life

I have an awesome life. Why is my life so freaking awesome? Seriously? What did I do to deserve it more than other people?
Today Brynne came to visit me at lunch after a crazy and excitingly busy morning at work. We played Frisbee in the park across the street, it was hilarious and embarrassing. I haven’t played since Africa, and it was windy, and the Frisbee was super crappy and cheap…but enough excuses. We sucked. I think the most we got in a row was maybe 5? It was hilarious and cruddy, I actually could hardly breathe the whole time cause I was laughing so hard. And Brynne was leaping everywhere, and there were people walking by watching us…man. That was hilarious!
Then we went for ice cream, what a gorgeous day. We drove there in the GREMLIN! That’s right, people, the Gremlin LIVES! I almost wept, and I remembered the trick to opening the passenger door. I missed a car with such personality. Know where the Gremlin would not fit in at all? In Leamington, the land of beautiful cars. Road trip, Brynne? Ha ha!
I also had a fun and productive afternoon at work, too. Just what I needed!
Now I am off to the grad supper and then to the grad ceremonies. Can you believe I graduated a year ago today? I can’t at all. I can’t believe I looked like that a year ago today either. My, how things change! I’m pretty much happy with the past year of my life, how things went and how I turned out. I wonder where I’ll be a year from now?

Dani California

Firstly, I love this song!



All I can say is, how much fun would this video be to film? And how many different people do they imitate in it? So funny! Its pretty much the sweetest idea ever.
Oh, Chili Peppers.

Stratford!!!

So, I'm at Terrell's, which is too exciting to even explain. I arrived around 1:30 and when I got here it was POURING rain, like super hardcore and it rained all night, with thunder and lightening to boot. We went out for lunch at Jack Aster's and then drove home. His house is so nice, and pretty, and I feel very welcome here, which is sweet. Then I got the tour, then I got to meet Ben and he's totally awesome, I enjoyed him very much. We went to Walmart (they have a Walmart! And a Shoppers! Brynne we'd be so set!) and got soaked running back to the car. Then we went to Ryan's, and his house is AMAZING and huge and gorgeous and his family is so unbelieveably nice and his mom hugged me! Anyhoo, Ryan is also awesome, although I may have lost points when he found out I don't play baseball (don't worry, I think I gained them back by playing pool and got some extra ones for a joke during a Subway ad...). Then we watched So You Think You Can Dance with his sister, Kelly, and that was fun, and then came home at a late hour. The rai was INSANE! And there were frogs all over the road! Then this morning we went to Stratford, had a beautiful picnic lunch by the river(? lake?), and walked around for a bit. Terrell and I mostly went to like, toy and game stores, book stores, and chocolate stores. We bought nothing. Then we went to the theatre to see "London Assurance" which was very funny, and well acted. The costume and sets were AMAZING. I was quite blown away by them, man! That was fun, excpet I fell up the stairs and hurt my toe...but all is well. Then we walked around a bit more, had chinese and came home. Now I'm going to go tear Terrell away from whatever sports he's watching. Man is it ever good to see him again! Tomorrow is very open, I don't know what we'll do but I guarentee it will be fun! :)

Hope you're all having fun at work, suckers! Ha ha!

I Dyed Again!

So I was bored with my natural color and decided to dye my hair again. It was called "chocolate cherry" and is pretty...I think this pic captures it pretty well. Its a nice emo pic, eh? Ha ha! Well enjoy. :)

Philippians 4:8-9

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Hear No Evil

Ok, so on the way home from Ashley's there was absolutely nothing on the radio. Nothing! All crappy weird songs, so I was flipping through different stations trying to find something worth-while to listen to. All of a sudden the dial stops.
And it stops on 101.1 THE FARM.
At first, I gasp. I hold in a scream. Since Hot 101 became "Slop 1o1", a country station, I have refused to listen to it. And there it was, playing in my car.
Thank God no song was on, but what I heard was almost worse. The DJ, taking a call from a listener. A young girl complaining that her dad still thinks of her as a baby, even though she's in grade six. The DJ responds.
With a forced southern accent.
I am not fibbing, this is complete truth. She says, "Well you have a good night there, li'l darlin'" and continues to introduce the song with one of the worst accents I've ever heard.
This is why I hate country music. See what it does to people's minds? This poor woman thought she was from a southern state, not Western Manitoba! Its sick what it does to people, really. In my opinion that is just another reason for it to be outlawed.
Goodness, now I sound like a cowgirl. Its already poisening my mind...

Beautiful

So Caryn made me this lovely CD, all with songs about being beautiful, and I really like this one. Its by Bethany Dillon, and I love the words. Its totally just the cry of her heart, and I share it. Enjoy!

I was so unique, now I feel skin deep
I count on the make-up to cover it all
Crying myself to sleep cause I cannot keep their attention
I thought I could be strong
But it's killing me

Does someone hear my cry?
I'm dying for new life

[Chorus]
I want to be beautiful
Make you stand in awe
Look inside my heart, and be amazed
I want to hear you say
Who I am is quite enough
Just want to be worthy of love
And beautiful

Sometimes I wish I was someone other than me
Fighting to make the mirror happy
Trying to find whatever is missing
Won't you help me back to glory

[Chorus]

You make me beautiful
You make me stand in awe
You step inside my heart, and I am amazed
I love to hear You say
Who I am is quite enough
You make me worthy of love and beautiful

8 days until I fly to London, ON, and then onward to Leamington!!!!

I HATE My Boobs!

Sometimes I hate being a girl.
Okay, so today I had the most irritable and frustrating experience, also known as bra shopping. Seriously, complete annoyment! I must seriously have the oddest breasts in the whole world, because not a single one will fit me properly. Its like I'm between sizes - C is too small, and cuts into me, and D is definitely too big. I mean I can't be a D, if I am there really isn't much to show from it. And the numbers...those are band sizes, correct? Well I'm not big around up there I don't think, but a 36 is most assuredly too small...I must've tried on 12 bras without any success. And I am officially retarded (for lack of a better word) when it comes to how exactly they should fit. I seriously need to go see a bra specialist fitting person. I know they exist, I saw them on What Not to Wear once. They will probably tell me that I have abnormal breasteses and need to buy a $200 bra from them.
Or maybe I'll just give up and live in sports bras for the rest of my life.

Funny Video

Turn up the volume and press play...its just not funny without the sound and believe me, you don't wanna miss it!!!

The Dixie Chicks

Okay, so I just watched the video for "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks, and I just had to comment that Natalie Maines is definitly, to me, one of the most beautiful women on this earth. She's so unique, and incredibly stunning. She really knocks me out. Man I love the DC! They are amazing and seriously, one of the best looking bands out there. I think I want their new CD...

Love, Actually.

Did you ever think about being in love? Or even just love for that matter? I mean, what it really means and what its like? I'm sure everyone has, but today after watching a video my friend Al made me, I was thinking about what love actually means to me.

1. As someone quite self-critical, especially about looks, its quite the thing to look at yourself and be like, 'I don't love this, but someone else does." And then you have to think, 'well why don't I love me if someone else does?' and it just gets quite silly and you basically have to just get over yourself.

2. I love people VERY easily. Its just my nature, to love people. So when I love someone, I'm hardcore about it. I want to be with people I love all the time, I want to tell them how much and why I love them (I think everyone deserves that, no?). I love things like their smile, or their laugh. Their forearms. Their little quirks. I love just being surrounded by people I love. Now turn all that around. What? Someone out there also feels the same way about me? All those feelings and emotions that are so real and deeply rooted within me are felt by someone else, towards me? Whatever! It blows my mind. I can hardly believe that.

3. Now this is the real kicker. Take how you feel about the one you love and times it by 10 billion. Thats how God feels about you. No matter what you do, or don't do, how you look, or how much or how little you love Him, He loves you more than you could ever imagine - and thats the real mind blowing thing about love.

Romans 8:35-39
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered. "
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Tremble

So I've been thinking about Heaven lately. A girl I know who's my age died this week in a car accident, and I've been thinking about her alot, and death, and bad timing, and life, and basically evaluating so many things. I mean if I were to die right now, I'd almost feel satisfied because I just had an amazing year - but still jipped because I have so many amazing things to do. I know that God is going to use me in so many ways still has so many plans in store for me. I feel like my life is falling into place, and really can see God's hand in so much of it. I mean I had a scary incident with a semi the other week and His hand protected me then. Where was it when Sam was driving? I'm just trying to sort it all out. Anyhoo, back to the main topic. I was listening to the song "Tremble" by Audio A and thought about how every person, whether saved or not, will face God on their judgement day. How Sam did it, how I have yet to do it. How sad I will look, on my knees begging God to forgive everything I've ever done...Here are the words. They paint a vivid picture.

Shaking like a leaf
Afraid to life my eyes
Afraid of all your glory
Ashamed of all my pride
Then you call me in
To your holy place
I fall down
Down on my face
And I beckon you for mercy
And I beckon you to forgive everything that I've ever done
And I tremble
And I tremble
I am just a man
Showered in your grace
You're the holy god
Your glory fills this place
And I beckon you for mercy
And I beckon you to forgive everything I've ever done
And I tremble
I tremble

Church Bulletin Bloopers

These absolutely slay me - my favorite number 18, the one about B.S.!

These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.

2. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
3.Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8 PM in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us kill Christ the King.

4. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.

5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

6. Remember in prayer the many that are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

7. Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

8. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

9. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

10. Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

11. During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

12. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing "Break Forth into Joy."

13. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

14. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

15. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow.

16. The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

17. This evening at 7 pm there will be a hymn sing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

18. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

19. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

20. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday "I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours."

21. Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

Amazing Picture!

Okay, so I love this picture, its quite phenominal. Brynne took it outside of Caryn and I inside at Gullivers. I love how you can see whats outside and whats inside at the same time! Pretty dang sweet. That was a good time. The drinks over Brynne's head look like the house behind her is lit up all pretty, and the sky looks like its inside the building - amazing! Plus Brynne is almost riding a motorcycle and Caryn and I look HOT!

Panic! At the Disco

Ok, so Brynne introduced me to this band and I like them. Well I like them enough to write a post on them, I guess. I would like them more if they didn't swear. Like the one song is so good, but they swear like 3 times in it, and it made me sad. But yeah, I love like 3 of the songs on their CD (probably because they are the only ones I actually understand). They sound like Fall Out Boy, only more 'emo' or what have you. I think that "But its Better If You Do" is the best song, that and "Time to Dance." They're super random, like they say stuff like: Just for the record, the weather today is slightly sarcastic with a good chance of: A. Indifference or B. Disinterest in what the critics say. Like thats funny! My favorite lyrics though are 'When I say "Shotgun", you say "Wedding", "Shotgun!" "Wedding!" "Shotgun!" "Wedding!" So random, like what is that? It actually makes sense in the song...anyhoo. So yes, Panic! is pretty a-okay. Maybe don't listen to them when you're feeling down because they are all emo and moody, I mean look at them!

Wow that was a super honest review.

EDIT: By the way, what the heck is emo? What is the real definition of it? I'm starting to doubt that these guys are emo - but I mean they look emo...what a dumb word. EMO. Emo eMO EmO! Ha ha, I'm silly. But seriously, what defines 'emo'?

These Words of Mine

Here is a pic of when Care Bear came, and Pauly Boy and Zachary James as well. Man I love those people. I love lots of things. To quote Hedly, "If loving meant living then I'd never die." Ah, Hedly. I need to put a new CD in my car.
Okay so I went to the golf course in SL today for work, and I decided that I really love the smell of freshly cut grass. It was such a gloriously summery day out, and these old people with no jobs were out golfing in cute outfits, and it smelled so lovely. Then I looked and there on the lake were two old men in a boat...so cute! It just screamed summer today - I wished I wasn't working and was out walking a dog or something through the park (well if I had a dog, and SL had a real park...). Speaking of dogs I saw the cutest one ever in a car today, he liked me and would've let me scratch his ears if he wasn't stuffed in some overheated car (HELLO! animal cruelty!). He was big and lovely - I know, me liking a large dog. There must be something in the air today if that is happening!

Anyhoo, whilst at the golf course I realised how much I dislike Nelly Fertado. I mean I really like her older stuff, but this "Promiscuous" thing - like is she a sell out or what? What ever happened to the "Cuz this life is too short to live it just for you" stuff because I mean, she's totally just contradicting that, sinning weird stuff like "I can see you with nothing on" to some over-used wanna-be Black Eyed Peas hook...I dunno, its just depressing to me, to hear her drop that unique originality that made her so....Canadian.

Nelly being generic and Janna liking dogs - what is this world coming to?

My New Mantra

Anybody know The Nylons? Old accapella group, sparkly shirts and finger snapping? Amazing harmonies and great performers? Anyways, I was listening to their CD on the way to work today and there was this song that one of the guys wrote called “Loving You”. Sounds like a cheesy love song, correct? Well it’s about loving yourself, which is a pretty foreign concept to me most of the time, and it’s not the greatest song or anything, but it’s cool to think about what the words mean – made me think, anyways. And to have a guy saying that to a girl…

First things first, let’s talk about your self esteem
You don’t need some guy to complement you to feel like a beauty queen
You’ve got to tell yourself everyday
That the way you look is better than okay
Doing everything, everything you can
To please yourself and not some man
You will find true peace of mind in

[chorus]

Loving you
First on your list of things to do
Got to feel good about yourself
Before you take on something else like
Loving me
Though I hope that will come easily
I think it’s only secondary to
Loving you

You should know that you deserve the very best
Stop comparing how you look ‘cause you shouldn’t think about the rest
You’ve got to tell yourself all the time
That the person that you see as you will do just fine
Everything you are, who you gonna be
Just always be yourself with me
You can set your spirit free by

[chorus]

You’ve got to love yourself much better
You’ve got to love yourself that will make you stronger
You’ve got to love yourself much better than before
You’ve got to love yourself so much more

On another note, I was at Hamiota School over lunch, and the grade 12 kids were going into the gym before I left. Guess what class they have after lunch? Dance. Not lying, they have a dance class. And even though they were all two-stepping to country music, I was still incredibly jealous and bitter; I mean why didn’t our school have something cool like that? Man. Not like there were too many people in my class I really wanted to dance with…

Near Death Experience

So I had an interesting experience today. I was driving to work and there was this semi in front of me. I had been following it for a while, but couldn’t pass it due to oncoming traffic. Finally there was a break and I moved out to pass. I had pulled out and signaled, and as I was passing, the semi started driving towards the yellow line, and then over it, and soon it was driving down the middle of the road and was REALLY close to me. So I ended up driving on the shoulder on the opposite side of the road to pass him. I don’t know what he was doing. There was a cement mixer thing on the shoulder in front of him, but a long ways away. I had time to pass him before we reached it. It was weird that he was passing while I was passing. Man I totally could have died! Seriously, after it happened I was like, woah, he obviously did not see me and I could’ve been killed. That was scary stuff.
On another note, BJ AND TYLER WON THE AMAZING RACE! I am so excited, mom and Caryn and I were screaming at the TV for the last 2 minutes. It was so exciting, they completely deserved to win. I love those guys! Can’t find any pictures of them online – annoying. Man they totally rock! That’s happy.
Hope your day is too!

I Love Old People

~ HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOMMY! YOU'RE THE BEST!~

Wow, its been forever! I kinda suck at keeping up to this thing, my summer must be starting to get busy. Well not too much to report on, I'm sure I'm keeping Caryn as bored as possible b/c there's not a whole lot to do in Strath, plus I'm working and all that, but yeah. We've watched a sufficient amount of TV this week, its been grand. I've introduced her to so many shows, like Amazing Race, Lost, and AI. She gets all into it, I love it. And I'm keeping my fingers crossed that BJ and Tyler win the Amazing Race, they're the best!
Friday was the best day ever. It was Manitoba's 136 Birthday and I had to celebrate it for work. So I went to SLS and did a MB Music Challenge, and it was so sweet! I loved that! Then I had lunch in Strath at the school's Multicultural Day. That meant perogies, peroshky and melktert! Then I sang what I know of the SA National Anthem, and everyone stood up and all the little kids had their fists in the air, it was sweet. Caryn and Ash both refused to sing with me, those bums.
Later that day, Caryn, Brynne, Ashley, Curtis, Leanna and I went around to all the seniors in town and delivered the left over melkterts to them (my mom made like 8 dozen too many). It was so fun! I love old people, they are so entertaining and endearing. I love small towns, that we can deliver home made things to almost the entire senior population in 1 hour. Or just go into their houses and leave them on the counter...I love it! Then we gathered at my house and ate the left over tarts and watched "Chicken Little", the funniest movie ever. Then Kaitlan and Erica showed up and we watched "Bring it On" and talked passionately about how the Clovers were NOT better, I'm sorry but it rips me everytime the Toros lose b/c they are so superior, even a dummy could tell you that - if you wanna challenge me on that go ahead. By that point in the evening I felt like death I was so tired so everyone left and I went to bed.
The next day Caryn and I watched "From Justin to Kelly" which is so bad its enjoyable, I love that movie! After eating supper we went to Leanna's and watched "The Cutting Edge" which is a splendid early 90s movie about a hockey player becoming a figure skater - its so good! Man! Then we went to Leanna's room and talked for hours about girl and God stuff, it was phenominal, and her 6 wk old kitten fell asleep against me, she's so cute! We got home around 1:00.
Today was church, a mother's day potluck, and then a trip to my Baba's. Tonight we're having a funny supper (usually popcorn and deep fried things, lol) and watching a movie. Yes, another one. I realised in this post that I watch way to many movies...

The Ups and Downs of My Wkd

Good news first:
1. I finally unpacked my Outtatown bags (I know, I know) and it was cool to go through all my stuff and I found a few cute notes and things - and a lot of candy! Like a half eaten Tempo...I ate the rest.
2. I slept in - until 9:30! Whoo!
3. It was such a gloriously summery day out yesterday! It reminded me of that day that Cass and I finished exams in grade 11 and then ate popsicles on the picnic table downtown. That was the best ever!
4. Terrell called me! Thats always exciting!
5. Mom and I looked at flights and set a tentative date for me to go out to Leamington, I am super pumped. All I need to do is comfirm it w/ my boss. I am so freaking excited its ridic! 48 days...
6. I made brownies and they were really good. I love baking!
7. People came over! I did something social! :)
8. Brynne and I went on an incredibly sweet walk last night. We left at like, midnight, and got back around 3:00 am, it was so amazing. We went to the playground and scared drunk ppl and then walked out into the country for miles, then layed in the middle of the highway. The sky was incredible, and I broke in my new flip flops! We layed on top of the water plant and looked at the sky, and plus the entire time we talked about anything and everything, it was great to hear her heart and have her hear mine - man that was the sweetest thing ever!
9. I was asked to sing in church today - Fairest Lord Jesus. I sang it with my Pastor and his son Mike, who rocks my socks. Afterwards Sarah's mom told me what a great ministry that is - now I feel more at peace about taking some music courses at CMU.
10. CARYN IS COMING OUT TO SEE ME FOR TWO WEEKS! She gets here tuesday, I could almost puke I am so pumped! Oh my gosh! And Zach will hopefully come out, and bring some other Winnipeggers out w/ him, and you can camp in my yard and we can have a weiner roast - I am so pumped!
11. I played my guitar outside on my porch swing b/c it was such a nice day. I love it!
12. My skin looks so much better! I just showered and it hardly freaked out.
13. I am wearing my favorite pants.
14. I am going to bed after this. :)

Bad news:
1. Unpacking made everything seem so final, and made me miss my community and Africa like you would NOT believe!
2. Ah, I miss Cass! Holy crap!
3. My fingers are super burned from my guitar strings...it hurts.
4. Henk isn't coming home. That makes me so sad, I miss him like a crazy fool. :(
5. So last night one of my dad's friends was over, and I was in the kitchen cutting up the brownies to serve to my friends, and he says to me "Did you gain weight in Africa?" and I said, "Yes I did." And he replied, "Yeah, I could tell." I brushed it off, but it still stung. I wish I had the energy to work out. I will soon enough, thats always been in the plan...

A Vision in Sweatpants

So today I caught myself in a mirror while cleaning my grandma's windows for her and I realised something.

I am a vision in a hoodie and sweatpants.

Complete with a gross ponytail! No lie, I'm actually being semi-serious. When I feel comfortable, I look my best. I thought that was pretty sweet.
Well, night all!

What a Friend We Have in Jesus

hmmm...i love hymns. i love truth. i love prayer. basically i love this song. enjoy.

What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear!
What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer!
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear,
All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer.

Have we trials and temptations?
Is there trouble anywhere?
We should never be discouraged; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Can we find a friend so faithful who will all our sorrows share?
Jesus knows our every weakness; take it to the Lord in prayer.

Are we weak and heavy laden, cumbered with a load of care?
Precious Savior, still our refuge; take it to the Lord in prayer.
Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
Take it to the Lord in prayer!
In his arms he'll take and shield thee; thou wilt find a solace there.

National Anthem

Here is a lovely video of us singing at grad. I tried to e-mail to the Outtatowners, but I don't think they got it. So here it is, it was originally recorded by my father, and later off the television with my digital camera by yours truely, so I hope you enjoy it!



Just click to watch. I hope this works!

I LOVE CHOCOLATE!

Look at this! How could you not love it? And want it? Two of my favorite things combined - cheesecake and chocolate! :) Thats happiness!

props to moxie's for the exciting cocoa 'm'!

Outtatown Withdrawl Syndrom

**If any of the following apply to you, you may be suffering with OTWS or in severe cases, EJ (emotional jannaitis). Please consult your Divine Physician for help or post prayer requests below. Seek help now!! When caught early OTWS and EJ are significantly less fatal.**

Do you ever just doubt yourself?
Do you ever question everything thats ever happened to you?
Do you ever wonder why people love you?
Do you ever wish you could transend space and time?
Do you cry in the shower?
Do you ever miss something or someone so much you could practically die?
Do you ever cry for no reason?
Do you ever feel scared you'll forget whats happened?
Do you eat your feelings?
Do you fight a war against your mirror everyday?
Do you feel frustrated that you're never satisfied?
Do you ever wish you could be transported somewhere else?
Do you ever think about those kids in Kliptown?
Do you ever want to go back?
Do you see their faces at night?
Do you get frustrated because you can't help?
Do you cry one minute and laugh the next?
Do you miss spooning?
Do you miss the stars in Mdumbi?
Do you feel like you should feel incredibly blessed and greatful?
Do you feel bad because you don't?
Do you feel like you're on a roller coaster?
Do you feel like me?
Do you post all your mixed up feelings online?


Okay, so I'm silly. And really must stop posting so late at night when my brain hardly works and my emotions are on over drive. I think I've lost my mind! :S

i.miss.africa.

That Was...

So today was my very first day at home alone. I woke up, and nobody was here. Nobody, not a single person. So that was exciting and what I've wanted basically since I came home. It was also incredibly boring.
I snuggled with Mel who was oddly enough very affectionate today. That was funny.
I worked really hard on something I wanted to send Caryn, and it wouldn't attach or send. That was annoying.
I looked up flights online to see how much it will hurt me financially to fly to Windsor. I was pleasantly surprised and am now super excited to take a few days off work and fly out, maybe mid/late June. That was exciting.
I watched American Idol, and it was pretty okay. Except two of the girls, Kellie and Katherine, man. That was excruciating.
I haven't showered since Saturday. I have nowhere to be. No one to smell good for. So I opted to not shower until tomorrow morning. My mom and dad are probably pretty pumped for that! lol. I promised Ash I'd shower before our date. That was a promise I intend to keep.
This post is silly. I'm going to watch House now. The end.

20 Thoughts in 3 Seconds

**warning! these are actual thoughts that managed to evolve in a three second period in janna's head. believe it or not there is method to this madness. the contents and rapid pace at which which they evolve may be hard to follow, so viewer discretion is advised**

scene: laying on jordan's couch, late afternoon

1. wow, this is a comfortable couch
2. i could fall asleep on it
3. look! there's even a blanket and pillow
4. maybe i'll crash here some night
5. but i'll need to wear my retainers
6. last time i slept without my retainers was mozambique
7. i was sick
8. terrell brought me a bun
9. man he was so sweet
10. i miss terrell
11. now i might cry
12. seriously, i could
13. i am an emotional headcase!
14. i should e-mail caryn
15. i'm a terrible friend
16. i wonder if she's mad at me for not e-mailing her
17. i hope not
18. man am i tired
19. i hope we go home soon
20. wow, this is a comfortable couch

Isaiah 53:5-6, 12

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace
was upon him,
and by his wounds
we are healed.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned his own way;
and the Lord had laid on him
the iniquity of us all.

For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.

Hallelujah! what a Savior!

"Man of Sorrows," what a name
For the Son of God who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim!
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood;
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Guilty, vile, and helpless - we,
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
Full redemption - can it be?
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

Lifted up was He to die,
"It is finished!" was His cry;
Now in heaven exalted high;
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

When He comes, our glorious King,
To His kingdom us to bring,
Then anew this song we'll sing
Hallelujah! what a Savior!

-- i hope you all remember Christ and the amazing sacrifice He made for you out of love on this day --

The ABCs of...Me

A- Age: 19
B- Band you're listening to: Bonnie Tyler
C- Crush: Terrell Wiebe!
D- Dad's name: Owen
E- Easiest person to talk to: Terrell - goodness we could about anything!
F- Favourite ice cream: soft chocolate
G- Gummy worms or gummy bears: bears!
H- Hometown: you all know where it is
I- Instruments: Trumpet, Piano, Guitar
J- Junior High (high school): SCS
K- Kids: what does that even mean? I like them.
L- Longest car ride ever: from Pretoria to Glencairn - 18 hours!
M- Mom's name: Jody
N- Nicknames: Banane, Diane, Janna Faye, Nelson
O- One wish: I wish Terrell was still here.
P- Phobia[s]: Holy crap moths, clowns, and bats!
Q- Quote: "Everything sucks when it happens." Oh Zachary.
R- Reason to smile: I am loved! and sweatpants.
S- Song you sang last: "Naked" by Avril...I was playing my guitar.
T- Time you woke up today: 10 am
U- Unknown fact about me: I've never been to Boston in the fall...
V- Vegetable[s]: are good and rare to find raw in South Africa
W-Worst Habit: picking at my face probably
X- ermm. yeah.
Y - Years since you've been to church: I was in church 4 days ago
Z- Zodiac sign: Aquarius, not like it matters.

The Adventure Continues

Oh my word, it has been SO LONG since I've talked to you guys! It makes me sad! Its just that we've been so busy, and not really near a phone in so long...

My last e-mail was in JBay? Yes? While we were there we went to this place where they have an after-school program for kids and we got to play with them for 2 hours. It was incredible. Mom, thats why I came to Africa, for those kids. They just latched on to us, wow, it was unbelieveable how needed I felt. And then all these girls surrounded me and did my hair! They were braiding it, twisting it, gave me pigtails and finally settled on a rather nice half pony. It was SO cool, and they were so gentle...this one girl who was doing ym hair was just gorgeous, wow! After JBay we went to this "adventure" camp, aka a really spider infested place in the middle of nowhere! There were these huge spiders all over our beds, it was hard to sleep, plus we got up at 4:00 to drive to Mdumbi.

The drive there...indescribeable! Sincerely, it was beyond gorgeous! And green...hills and little grass huts on the hills...cows ALL over the roads...then pigs...then goats...sheep...yeah there was lots of stopping for livestock. It was the most hilarious drive of my life, George could hardly go two feet without stopping for a farm animal. And boy was it dusty! All the city folk could hardly handle the gravel roads. But once we got there it was amazing! If you go to the outtatown website, click on South Africa, and the picture you see of the beach is the view we had at Mdumbi. We were a 2 minute walk from the beach...apparently one of the most beautiful beaches in the world, and I agree! Man I loved it!

So we spent the week doing the second module of Knowing Yourself, which was SO GOOD. We did personality type quizes, learned what our spiritual gifts are and encouraged each other in our small groups. The encouragements were so amazing, everyone said such lovely things to me, I have it on paper show you when I get home. It totally confirmed that I achieved my goals I've had since day one - to make good relationships with everyone that I could, and to completely grow and change. So many people commented on how much I've changed this semester, how my self esteem is up and how I've grown into a strong and beautiful woman of God. I cried! It was so amazing to have them just encourage me for no reason at all!

PLEASE TELL BABA THAT I RECIEVED ALL MY MAIL!!! All 13 items! :) She's been worried sick, I'm sure. I prayed for her on her surgery day, I'm so glad it went well!

Yesterday was a very scary day. We went swimming in the ocean, but the undertow was INTENSE. Like super super strong, pulling you out farther and farther into the ocean. Caryn and I got completely sucked out, it was scary! We were out SO far, and we were swimming as hard as we could and getting no where. Eventually we managed to get over to these rocks, barely getting a grip on them. Caryn had to grab my leg! We climbed up and out of the water. Later, Ash got swept out, and I went and retrieved her. Then Mae, and she can't swim all that well, and all these boys were around but no one made a move, so I went out, and it was scary because I wasn't strong enough to carry her and swim. She was screaming bloody murder practically, and I was yelling "help us! help us!" but everyone was kinda stunned and just stood there. Finally I yelled ay Mae to grab my foot and hold on and I swam us to the rocks. It was so scary, we got onto the rocks (after severely cutting up my feet, hands, and butt) and hugged for like 10 minutes. Man that was scary! Thats when I decided that that was 3 rescues too many and I was done for the day! More life threatening bonding moments!

We left Mdumbi at 3:00 am this morning and drove through pouring rain (it has been FREEZING all day) to a place outside of Pietermeritzberg where I went white water rafting! It was so fun, we sang and amused ourselves the whole way, and the rapids were sweet! It was super cold though, I think I'll take some vitamin C tonight so I don't get sick. It was sweet....Pappy managed to fall out and smoke his knee on a rock. It was split open so bad you could see the bone. Poor guy never gets a brake!

So here we are staying at a jail in Pmbg. It is so sweet! I love it here...too bad its still raining, especially because the overnight hike is this week. I leave for it on Wednesday. Man do I want to call you before then, its been a ridiculous amount of time since my last call, and I hate that - I cried the day we got to Mdumbi when I realised there was no phone! So I will call this week, I promise! I should go though, this has taken me a while to write. I love and miss you guys SO much!! Keep e-mailing me about whats going on with you, I love to hear it.

Love,
Janna

Too Much to Summarize

So...its been a while. Haven't had too much time to write. I don't even remember when I last wrote, but I'll go from my birthday on. :)
Okay so the next day we started work projects. I was in a group at a church in a township near Stellenbosch. Seriously, it was Extreme Makeover Church Edition. We scraped, sanded, and completely painted the outside of this church. It looked gorgeous once we were finished. It was rewarding work, but I was sick all morning the first day (almost vomiting) so I fell asleep on the floor. Yeah I was such a huge help. It was alright, the guys on site were mean and somewhat obnoxious - saying stuff like 'what, you going to cry? Go on girly, cry. Too bad your mom isn't here' and the like to Jenn when she was frustrated...yeah they were very picky as well. One of the old men called himself "The General"...yeah, it was a challenge but I liked it all the same.
On Valentines Day (Mae's birthday!) we were treated to a theatre in Cape Town to see a performance of Umoja, a South African history musical. It was AMAZING! Look it up, it was SO good! The music was incredible, I almost cried...yeah it was so good, I bought the DVD so we can watch it together. Yeah it was great. Terrell, Ash, Mae and I went out for cake to celebrate Mae and my birthdays. It was fun as well. Hey, I got presents from people! Ash gave me a necklace, Larissa gave me underwear, and Terrell gave me a towel. Its sweet!
We went on the wine tour on Friday. It was so gross! All it taught me really is that I hate wine. It was funny though, because most people hated it and the looks on their faces after a sip was priceless. It was fun, I spent most of my time taking pictures of people. It was so hot that day (+45!) and was hard to enjoy. That afternoon we travelled to Bonnievale, to a wilderness camp where we slept outside under the stars. On the way there we stopped, were told to put on clothes we could get wet and walked 5 minutes to this cave. We had to walk through it, which was a huge challenge for me - small, dark space; spiders; water up to my neck and BATS. Oh my word, millions of bats! I hate them! I was so scared, they were flying at my head and yeah I was so freaked out that I cried the whole first half of the cave. One hit me in the ear! It was SO gross! But so cool...I hated it and loved it at the same time. If there weren't bats it would've been so much better.
The weekend was fun, really hot and humid, but fun. We woke up to rain only once. I did this killer high ropes course with a zip line, which was cool and we swam to this deep part of the river where we swung off a rrope into the water. So fun! And painful - biggest swimsuit wedgie of my life. Yeah it was good, we had a church service there ourselves on Sunday morning. And on Monday at 4:30 am we left for BUNGY JUMPING! No I didn't do it, but I did like cry watching Ash do it - I was so proud of her! Only 8 of us didn't do it, but we watched them all go and cheered our heads off. So good, everyone as so pumped after it, including me!
Now we are in Jeffery's Bay, its so nice here by the ocean and not too much wind. I like it! There are all these Quicksilver and Billabong outlet stores, so everyone went shopping like crazy (except me, pretty much!). Sizes here are so whacked. Like a large and small is practically the same size..yeah its weird. Anyhoo...yesterday I went on a horse trip (I know!) and we got to gallop by the ocean. It was INCREDIBLE! I loved it, it was so beautiful and liberating! Whee! It was a little scary but mostly cool. The best part was riding on sand dunes...I felt like I was in Hidalgo. No Viggo, though....lol!
Well, I should go, we leave for an Adventure Camp tomorrow. It should be okay, I'm slightly adventured out though. Oh well. I'll write when I can, sorry its been so long! I love and miss you guys so much!
Love,
Janna

After Table Mountain

I do think I'm spending too much money on these internet cafés...but at R10 an hour you can't really go wrong! Here I am at yet another. We are doing homestays this week, I'm staying with a beautiful 64-year-old widow named Judy with CARYN!! Yay I was so excited! Judy is hilarious, she is a chocolate loving emotional headcase just like us. She's really nice, and her oldest grandson turns 20 on my birthday! Cool or what? Her house is really small, but really girly and cozy - lace and stuffed animals EVERYWHERE. Hilarious! I'm having so much fun, this homestay has turned out better than I thought it would.
So where was I last e-mail? Table Mountain. This longest, hardest and steepest hike of my life! Ridic! It took us from 2:00 until 4:30 to get up, and from 5:15 to 7:00 to get down. It was really windy, and really scary, I wanted to quit SO many times! Especially because the trail we were on was burnt to a crisp from the fires last week. But the view made it almost worth it. Too bad I can't walk now.
Now we're in our host family's homes, doing service work. Yesterday we painted 4 houses in a township. Other people were putting in windows, doors and ceilings. It was really hot, and their were some gross local guys around making us uncomfortable, making obscene gestures etc. It was gross and made me want to leave. The leaders and the guys were so mad, and really did their best to protect us and make sure we were never alone, so that was good. Last night Caryn and I watched TV (SA Fear Factor is SO weird!) and that was about it. Tonight I hope to read and perhaps watch The Amazing Race - its the one where they go to SA. All we're doing is work projects for the rest of the week. Today we got done early and here I am in Muizenbug, eating ice cream and going online. I should go soon, though. I really missed not being able to call home on Saturday, I'm excited to call soon!
Well I should go. Please e-mail me whats been going on with you! I miss you guys!
Love,
Janna

Table Mountain

Hello there once again! How are you guys? I'm at another internet café, killing time before I hike Table Mountain. The fires seem to have stopped and I hear its one of the most breathtaking views in the world, so I thought I should probably take this opportunity and run with it! I'm not really looking forward to the actual climb, but thats alright. Its only a group of girls going, so that should be fun. Hopefully I'll find someone to go my pace.
This week, what have I done this week? Well, on Sunday we went to this incredible church, I want to go there always, it was so good! I loved worship and their pastor(?) had a really powerful message. They gave us donuts afterwards, and random people came up and hugged us. Then we went to Robbin Island that afternoon, which was alright. I mean cool to see but it was a long day, and the tour guide was hard to hear, but it was still interesting. Everyone got sick on the boat ride back to Cape Town, Zach even puked. SO many people on out site have been sick (vomiting, explosive diarria ) and it seems like that boat ride didn't help. But yeah, I've been feeling alright, really tired though.
On Monday we went to the District 6 museum, which was cool. Then we went to Muisenburg, and visited a church run by reformed gangsters, and we learned all about the gang wars in the areas. We actually weren't allowed to get off the bus in some areas b/c a shoot out could occur at any time. It was intense, kids followed us everywhere and were all commenting on my shoes (the Nikes), which was sort of scary b/c I mean people get shot for their shoes! But it was alright. On Tuesday we began Conflict/Resolution classes, which were really interesting. I liked them alot actually. And the lady who did them, Micheline, is a councellor and I just loved her, she was so good at reading where we were at and what to do next. She led the exercises really well. So we had class until yesterday. We had the afternoon off, so we went to the beach and had a picnic. I slept on the beach and almost got taken out by the tide.
Today is table mountain, tomorrow is church and market shopping. Then we get divided up into host families again. I'm not totally looking forward to it - I mean I liked it last time, but this time I just don't feel like being seperated from the group again. I dunno, I'm sure it will be fine but I'd rather stay here with everyone. I appreciate all your prayers - your continued prayers for our site would be incredible! So if you could pray for them that'd be sweet.
Its my brithday in 8 days! Crazy, I feel excited but kinda not b/c its on a travelling day :( Yeah that kinda sucks. Oh well, its the day we reunite after homestay and it'll be exciting. Plus people have told me they will make it special for me, so thats nice. I'm really good though, healthy and pumped to build houses next week!! Thats what we're doing it will be sweet. Well time is of the essence so I should toodle. I think all the girls are going skinny dipping tonight! It should be fun. Well I really should go, I'll call today when I can.
Love,
Janna