Paging Dr. House

so i've been feeling crappy since wednesday, and after an unsuccessful trip to the doctor here i am on sunday, missing church and feeling like a poop sandwhich. i wish i could report better but i woke up on saturday feeling worse than ever - which is unfortch bc i was really feeling quite a bit better friday evening. now my throat is seriously KILLING me, it feels like my left eardrum is about to explode, and swallowing is basically impossible. so dad took me to the hospital where they took blood and tested me for mono. the results came back negative, but my over swollen glands (you can see them bulging on either side in my neck, two rock hard ping pong ball sized lumps that hurt like a you-know-what), inability to talk, and high fever concerned him, as did my "concerning overly high" white blood cell count (which means that my body is producing more trying to fight off some kind of infection), so he put me on some meds of some sort, i have to take three ginormous horse pills a day. yesterday all i did was take two two hour naps, and sat up for an hour inbetween. last night i forced down food bc i haven't eaten properly since wednesday because swallowing is too painful. i feel like i have definitely od-ed on advil and tylenol trying to kill the renlentless fever, and cough candies make me nauceous/do absolutely nothing. so please, pray for me, because if i don't get better i will definitely be missing a lot more work and really the pain right now is inbearable. i think my infection is moving: before it was the right side of my throat and ear, than the left, and now my left ear is like super death! i really dont understand what is wrong with my body. even if my throat problem goes away i could at least function. so yes, prayer would be nice. thanks.

thoughts.

lately i have been tired.
tired but happy.
which is good.
i like being happy.
i have also been busy.
which is great.
have i mentioned that i love my job?
and how good god is to me?
i feel like these past few weeks he's been more than god to me.
he's been my friend.
and i love that!
i've been keeping a prayer journal and its going great.
i like looking back to see how he's answered prayers.
yup god's good.
and now terrell's on the phone so i gotta go.

time with terrell

so its officially been a week since i left terrell's, so its about time i tell about it!

well, firstly i got to brynne's and we had a fun adventure of shoppers drug mart, construction sights, hair straightening and so you think you can dance. after very little sleep, we headed off to the airport where i checked in and boarded soon after. i flew next to a kind of creepy man to toronto, and from there to (on the smallest plane EVER) london! terrell was waiting when i got there, and i shook through our entire reunion - i'll blame it on excitement and ridic turbulence!

so we drove back to his place and unpacked my stuff. i think we hung out with his dad and chilled and then went to pick his mom up at work, because we were going to detroit for a david crowder concert!!

i know, can you believe it? it was pretty amazing - he sounds AWESOME live!! we were so close too! i think nonie was more excited than either of us, ha ha! although he sang my favorite songs so i was thrilled. it was a great time of worship and so much fun, a dream fulfilled!

the next day we chilled and watched 'myth busters', which had this guy with some amazing facial expressions that made us nearly die laughing. we ate lunch (well they ate, i was nauseous most of the weekend), played pool and frisbee outside and picked nonie up at work again and drove once again to the united states. my passport got a workout! we ate at TGIFriday's and continued on to our destination - gotta love super 8s! first we shopped and terrell bought him and myself the two heaviest books in the store, then we hung at the hotel and watched 'the pacifier' on tv. i got my own room at the hotel, it was so sweet!!

the next day we drove to frankenmuth, mich, and went to the world's largest christmas store. it. was. so. HUGE! and fantastic! you really need to see it to believe it! its 5 acres of tacky christmas amazingness! we took a lot of pictures.

after lunch at a sweet restaurant in town we checked out some shops and then drove back over the canadian border to this sweet beach town, where i think we were the only 4 people wearing shirts. or pants for that matter! that aside, terrell and i took a stroll down the beach. we had a light supper and then went to huron country playhouse to see 'cats', which actually rocked my world! the sets were fantastic, as was the makeup, costumes, singing and dancing! the plot was stupid and made no sense, but the show was brilliant, i loved it! we got home after midnight and hit the sac immediately.

sunday was the best day ever. slept in, showered, ate a delishious brunch, hung out with terrell, played dominos with him and his mom, lost horribly, went to grad where terrell wons lots of money! came home, looked at our scrapbook, ate supper, went to ryan's house where he, ben, darren, kelly and us played frisbee and roasted marshmellows. it was so much fun! it was great to hang out with his friends, and spend time with sandra and kelly. that whole night was perfect too - it was great just talking, laughing, tickling, and eating fruit loops! and i gave terrell a great new nickname! ha ha.

it really was the perfect trip. i wouldn't change a thing about it - well maybe it'd be longer...oh and my flight wouldn't be delayed and hour and a half. but it really was perfect. i got to spend so much time with him and his parents, and saw some great things and had a lot of fun. its hard to come home knowing it will be so long until i see him again, but i know time will go by fast, and that god will give me joy when i need it. and i now remember just how good it is to see him after a break from each other, so i anticipate august 29 so much more!

me and my sherrell terriff!

beautiful

i am now even more convinced that wade robson is a genius. he choreographed this beautiful dance between jaimie and hok on so you think you can dance. its a love story between a flower and a humingbird, hok as the bird and jaimie the flower. at first she grows, and they are wary of eachother at first but soon....well just watch it. its maybe the most beautiful thing i've ever seen. and this is why i love dance - expression without words. amazing.

EDIT: i need to post about terrell's and i will...soon.

tomorrow, tomorrow...

...you're only a day away.

no words.

tomorrow i am going to winnipeg after work.

and spending the night with brynne.

then, bright and early, leamington, (and more importantly) terrell-ho!

ha ha it sounds like i'm calling him a ho. that makes me laugh.

he's no ho.

so i am packed, anxious, and so excited i feel nauceous.

like i could seriously yak. i don't know if its terrell or illness...

i'm cool like that.

today is going to be fun! going to brandon with brynne. gonna get my hair cut, eat some seafood, and buy nothing because i'm poor! ha ha!

well maybe i'll buy something...

so i will be at terrell's house in 5 days, that makes me so happy its retarded! cause i get to see him! and take a break from work! and see a DAVID CROWDER concert!!

thats right, be jealous!!

work is good, i am officially off of the probation period which is nice. so now they have to keep me all summer, suckers. started at the dump this week, just for the afternoon. my boss, johnny (who i just adore) went in and made them clean up, put up a mirror, and took dirty pictures off the wall, telling me that this was "no place for a lady." it was so cute, they guys said he's never kicked up such a fuss over a summer student so he must really like me. that made me feel special! i am going to bake him cookies sometime, he's great.

the dump is gross. please, for the love of all things holy, rinse out your recyclables!! it makes my job of sorting them so much more pleasant. nothing is grosser than sorting out a bag where everything is covered in pasta sauce and the milk jugs still have milk in them. *shudder* and seriously it takes like 5 seconds to rinse stuff like that out. honestly. so do it for your friendly neighborhood recyclables sorter. they will appreciate it.

excited!

sorry i've been so lazy lately, not even posting about my first week of work. i was just too pooped! mowing lawns for 7 hours a day in freezing windy weather has been exhausting. but i really enjoy it, more than my job last summer, even though i am working ten times as hard and making minimum wage instead of making $10 an hour to talk to brynne on the phone and read people magazines. its physically strenuous but i find it really enjoyable beautifying the town. no tan so far - its been SO COLD all week that i wear a tank top, t-shirt, long sleeve fleece, my coveralls (yup i wear coveralls), another fleece and then my windcoat, plus a touque and work gloves...its cold stuff! it makes peeing a process. hopefully it stays warm like it has today, my ears can't take that freezing wind much longer. i eat lunch at my baba's every day which is sweet, she feeds me too much. and then i come home, shower and veg all evening. i really wish i had energy to work out still, but i just can't. maybe next week i'll be less tired by my 8:30 start to the day. anyhoo i leave for terrell's in 12 days, i am FLIPPING EXCITED. goodness! so excited i could just...yeah i am pumped. by then it will have been 2 months since i last saw him. he's well worth the wait. so thats exciting!!

tonight is my mom's birthday party, so i'm psyched for lots of people and food. and this nice weather! oh and ps my sister graduated from u of m thursday with a degree in social work, and today she bought a wedding dress. and SYTYCD! bascially life is exciting.

Un-Free Paris

Ok so apparently a judge ordered that Paris be sent back to jail this morning. Its all quite dramatic:

Paris Hilton was sent screaming and crying back to jail Friday after a judge ruled that she must serve out her sentence behind bars rather than in the comfort of her Hollywood Hills home. "It's not right!" shouted Hilton, who violated her probation in a reckless driving case. "Mom!" she cried out to her mother. Hours earlier, the 26-year-old hotel heiress was taken handcuffed from her home in a black-and-white police car, paparazzi sprinting in pursuit and helicopters broadcasting live from above. She entered the courtroom disheveled and weeping, hair askew, without makeup, wearing a fuzzy gray sweat shirt over slacks.
Before Judge Sauer, Hilton's entire body trembled as the final pitch was made for her further incarceration. She clutched a ball of tissue and tears ran down her face. Seconds later, the judge announced his decision: "The defendant is remanded to county jail to serve the remainder of her 45-day sentence. This order is forthwith."

Hilton screamed. Eight deputies immediately ordered all spectators out of the courtroom. Hilton's mother, Kathy, threw her arms around her husband, Rick, and sobbed uncontrollably. Deputies escorted Hilton out of the room, holding each of her arms as she looked back.

The dramatics are so unnecessary! Oh my word. Good for the judge though, I would be ticked if a sherriff who has the hots for Paris overruled my authority!

Free Paris

ok so paris hilton went to jail for 5 days and cried so much they sent her home. is that pathetic or what? i guess her dad owns half the city so they have to listen to him...i found this on msn.com and it looks really long but i think its worth the read. it pretty much discribes how i feel about it too!

By Michael Ventre, MSNBC contributor

If Johnny The Fence, doing a stretch of two to five years, wants to get out of the stir, all he has to do is claim that his back hurts and he can no longer endure the strain of prison life. If Dave the Meth Dealer, scheduled to be incarcerated for the next five years, doesn’t like spending his days behind bars, he can just call for the doctor and say he’s having migraines and needs to be home in his own bed. Worse, if Lance the TV Star gets a couple of DUIs and can’t quite cope without his hot tub and his Porsche, all he has to do is hire a high-powered attorney who specializes in helping the rich and famous avoid responsibility.

Which brings us to Paris Hilton, up until Thursday the most famous prison inmate in the country. But authorities have decided that, after “extensive consultation with Los Angeles County medical personnel,” she is finished with her sentence after just five days, and will now serve the rest of her time at home, wearing an ankle bracelet.

No word yet on whether Paris will be free to roam wherever she wants until a custom-made, diamond-studded ankle bracelet is delivered by Tiffany’s, but you know that’s coming.I’m no legal expert, but I know enough as a private citizen to understand the importance of precedent. And this sets a horrible precedent.

Paris Hilton had already been coddled beyond belief. She had been sentenced to 45 days in prison for violating the terms of her probation on an alcohol-related reckless driving case. She didn’t get it. She reasoned that just because the law requires a person to spend time in jail if they don’t comply with the terms of her probation doesn’t mean she can’t drive around without a suspended license.

Then when she appeared before a judge, she claimed she didn’t know, that she was told by her publicist, Elliot Mintz, that it was all right to drive around under those circumstances. Then she fired her publicist before hiring him right back. Then she whined about how unfair it all was. Her quote: “I feel I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don’t deserve this.” She neglected to mention how cruel it would have been had she killed somebody while driving under the influence (word!).

Her mother, Kathy Hilton, otherwise known as “The Enabler,” called her original 45-day sentence “pathetic and disgusting, a waste of taxpayers’ money” and “It is a joke.”Then some of her friends suggested going to Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger to seek a pardon. One of them even wrote Arnold a letter, claiming Hilton should go free because “she provides beauty and excitement to most of our mundane lives.” I don’t know if it’s possible for a governor to veto a letter, but Arnold should have looked into it in this case.

That fan letter also claimed this: “She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world.” I’m sure she does now that she managed to weasel out of a 45-day jail sentence after just five days. I’m sure there are guys on death row who think anything’s possible now.

Paris Hilton was originally scheduled to serve 45 days in prison. Almost immediately, it was cut down to 23 days because of a good-behavior discount credited in advance. And now, after five days and several reports from bloggers and gossip sites that she cried a few times and didn’t like the accommodations, she was allowed to go home. I know it sounds incredibly naïve, but what kind of a message does this send?

What about Tom Sizemore? The actor was just taken into custody on Wednesday for violating terms of his probation on a drug possession charge. If I were advising him, I would tell him that, instead of continuing to be 45, male and fairly nondescript, he should instead become 26, female and beautiful. Oh, and cry a lot. That would help. Law enforcement officials interpret that as a sign that you want to get out early.

For that matter, what about any celebrity now who gets pulled over for anything? Jail isn’t really a serious deterrent anymore, because if a celebrity is arrested, he or she will simply ask for “that Paris deal,” and he or she will probably get it, because a precedent has been set.

Paris Hilton already had her sentence reduced once, to just over three weeks. She didn’t have to endure the humiliation of a cavity search, which is standard. She was whisked through the intake process rather than have to stand and wait like all the other inmates. On top of all that, she wasn’t even exposed to the general prison population, but rather was kept secluded, in her own cell. So if Paris Hilton had medical issues, why wasn’t she brought to the infirmary? Better yet, if celebrity worshippers wanted her to continue to get special treatment, why didn’t they allow her own doctors to treat her? What medical issues could she have had that couldn’t be accommodated while she was behind bars?

What really appears to have happened is she was stricken with that most heinous of maladies: not getting her way. So, in their infinite wisdom, law enforcement officials gave her what she wanted.Granted, she didn’t get everything she wanted. She won’t be able to go clubbing for another couple of weeks or so, which in the celebrity realm is like being pilloried in the town square. She won’t be able to “provide beauty and excitement to most of our mundane lives” from home confinement, although that could change if somebody slips in a video camera. And, most important, she won’t be able to drive. After all, we wouldn’t want her to get in trouble and go to jail again.

God is Good

i just got a job! yesterday, an hour after my interview. its 10 mins from my house, working at a dump/recycling centre. sounds fun eh? but its work, and its regular hours, monday - friday, and thats what i'm all about. the cool part is that there were two positions available, one for mowing and painting, and the other for the dump, and they offered this one but also working the other position for the next three weeks starting monday (!!) and then taking my other job in july. its a grant job, and the grant is only for 10 weeks of work, but they are offering me 3 extra weeks just because (God is awesome!). too good! and i discussed time off with them and they were cool about it, so i am taking three days off and going to see terrell! i booked my flights this afternoon. i leave in like 22 days. seriously, everything has just fallen into place so quickly, i am so excited and so happy. i am nervous about my new job, but excited to start working so quickly. basically, i love life!!!

its all messed up but we're alive

so life is a crazy whirling thing.

but god is constant and that is good.

had a job interview on saturday and got a job at timmy ho's in brandon.

have another interview on tuesday for a job at home.

things could change a lot in the next 48 hours.

i might need to move. i might settle in.

went to eldin roth's funeral on saturday. it was very sad.

he was my dad's age. it made me grateful for all i have.

his wife...well it broke my heart. she will be hurting for awhile.

rode my bike to church today. in a skirt.

i love being at home just me and the rents. its fun.

i also love talking to terrell. even about nothing at all.

but i think i just love him in general. yeah thats most likely it.

christopher lee is 85 today. happy birthday saruman/count dooku.

Intense!

This is seriously amazing! Its the Gaither Vocal Band kickin it old school, Mark Lowry singing lead. Maybe the whole song isn't super interesting, but wait until you get to 3:32. My head almost exploded. That is some ridiculous, intense, arm wavingly moving harmony from three talented tenors. David Phelps, Michael English and Guy Penrod. Yikes!

what the...?

ok so i was just talking to brad at the play and he told me that HENK is coming home tomorrow! tomorrow!! why did i not know this? apparently he'll be here for nine days, which is ridiculously exceptionally exciting. i am pumped. but he's such a bum for not telling me. when i see him i will tell him he's a poo head, and thats a promise!

and i came home from the play just now and my parents have officially disappeared. i have no idea where they are, they left before me. i almost stayed for the after party because i was invited but i didn't feel like raining on their parade. hmm...

Pie Day

Today I spent the afternoon at Bakes' house and we made pie!! It was so fun. I ate too much crap and feel a little ill though, and like I can't put off working out much longer. A routine must begin!

If you'd like to see today's events click here. That should work.

Still no update on jobs. I feel a little better about it today. Yesterday I felt like a loser, it was not a good day. It was good to have fun today though!

Think I'm gonna go for a walk now.

EDIT: What a horrible night for television!! Renee kicked off America's Next Top Model by the hideous wisping ghoul-witch that is Tyra Banks (seriously, you should've seen her! whoever told her that long, flat, gray hair extensions were a good idea should be slapped!) even after they told her that her video & pic were the best. What is the point of the challenges then? They obvisouly mean nothing. Plus they called her "puffy" and "wrinkley", which was so unnecessary. That left big lipped small brained Natalie in the final two, boo!! At least she didn't win, but still! And then Melinda gets kicked off American Idol. What is wrong with people?! Its nights like this that I feel like not watching television ever again. Except CSI: New York was great tonight. Wow.

the end.

so tonight was the gilmore girls series finale - i really enjoyed it. it ended so happy and wonderfully, and wasn't super clichéd or anything. kinda reminded me of the everybody loves raymond finale in the sense that the show could've continued next season if it wanted to but was fine that it didn't.

i have had a headache for a week straight now - its getting really old! there are only so many drugs one can take!

i cannot wait until the provincial election is done! enough stupid commercials! since when did campaigning = insulting other candidates without any self promotion? its so childish, seeing all these old men make stupid commercials soley to insult one another. pathetic. call me old fashioned but that is so unsportsman-like. boo.

slowly everyone around me is becoming employed. is it my turn soon? i hope so.

my head is going to explode. have a great evening everyone.

EDIT: Alister McGrath is on The Hour right now discussing his new book, The Dawkins Delusion, and his body language is identical to Henk. It makes me happy and sad.

My Interesting Life

I've been home for three weeks now, I think. Yeah that sounds about right. So, an update from my post two weeks ago.

Nothing much to report on:
Still no job.
Still not much to do.
Still missing Terrell.
I still officially hate flossing.
I still miss eating ice cream.
I still wish Brynne was working at home this summer.
Went to Brandon yesterday.
Its cold in my house.
I am alone for the day.

EDIT: Here are some pics of my hair post-pink dye. My streaks are carmel-y and pretty.

Pink Haired Daddy

ok so last night i highlighted my hair (well kristin did it for me) and the dye was idiot proof, aka neon pink so you could tell what part of your hair you had streaked. so i was using pink bleach on my head, and my dad came in curiously. my dad has always had a weakness for blonde hair dye, and before you know it i'm piling neon pink goo on his head. next came the funniest photo shoot ever, and then the rinse - not only was his hair platinum blonde, but his scalp was still pink from the dye!! he looked a little like strawberry short cake. ha ha. it was pretty much amazing. here are some pictures for your enjoyment.

the side burns kill me.

eyes so blue and hair so...pink.

this is going on the anniversary cake.

cool song

here's a cool version of bon jovi song sung on american idol last week by blake lewis. i thought it was pretty sweet. apparently he could go tonight as every review i read said he was pretty bad last night. either way i thought this was a pretty sweet rendition of a popular song. enjoy!

pour your love down

We're worlds apart
The distance between us is just too great
Draw me close
Let me know You're near
The reason we sing is to bring down Your glory
Show us Your face
Pour Your love down
And cover me
Pour Your love down
And cover me
At Your feet I bow down and know that You are my King
The weight of life gets s w e p t away
The reason we sing is to bring down Your glory
Show us Your face
Show us Your face
Pour Your love down
And cover me
Pour Your love down
And cover me
In this moment I feel so alive
When You pour Your love down
Pour Your love down
And cover me
Pour Your love down
And cover me
Pour Your love down and cover me
Cover me with Your love
Pour Your love down and cover me

So I Switched...

So I switched to Google Blogger, although I fought long and hard against it, it was refusing to let me sign in until I did. It even said my password was wrong! Lame!

Nothing much to report on:
No job.
Not much to do.
Missing Terrell.
I officially hate flossing.
I miss eating ice cream.
I wish Brynne was working at home this summer.
Going to Brandon tomorrow.
I feel fat AND sassy!! ha ha. just jokes.

Yeah okay this was hardly worth switching for, what a terrible post. Have a good one.

a little confession

so...i like jojo.
yup, i said it!

she is so pretty and mature for her age (she just turned 16!) and has a good voice too for such a youngin'! i like her songs, they are usually cute and age appropriate. so yeah, i watched this music video of hers and thought i'd post it on here for all of you who secretly enjoy jojo as well.

I definitly learned a few things from this video:

1. "Its what you do, not what you say." Flirting with another girl when you are dating is not cool. JoJ0 says it like it is, telling her man he's 'disrespectful'. Man is she mature or what?

2. Don't accept large stuffed animals from your boyfriend because it looks awkward to throw out when you break up.

3. This is for all the men out there - don't treat your woman like poo, or else you will fail at everything in life, even the things you were once good at!

--terrell and i went to the ballet on tuesday. check this out.--

plans

let me just say this first - i HATE blogger!!! man it is one annoying operation! i DO NOT want to switch to google blogger, but the old blogger won't even let me sign in. i fought for 20 minutes to write this - NOT WORTH IT! man!

anyhoo, my life has revolved around plans lately.

homework and schedule plans.

ukranian christmas plans.

mom and dad visiting plans.

one year anniversary plans.

and summer plans.

summer.

the dreaded time of year.

usually.

it means no friends, no terrell, crappy job.

loneliness.

BUT! i have been making some plans.

and i am praying that they work out!

like for summer jobs - i hope to work at MYJC again.

i think i can do a better job this year, and they pay good, good hours.

AND! brynne is applying to be rec assistant!

so we would work together in the same office! and she would be home!

and i would have a friend!

man that would be amazing, and she'd be good at the job.

so i am so praying for that to work out!!

also, plans to go to terrell's this summer, and see scott on the way!

and see wicked in chicago! and spend like a week at terrell's!

its almost too perfect, and too much to handle.

so i am praying for that too.

i feel a peace about that stuff now.

i think that this is god telling me to trust him with stuff...

well i am hoping so anyways.

if brynne and i get those jobs this will be the best summer ever.

i hope my plans and god's plan are somewhat the same.

come and listen

i revisited david crowder band's 'a collision' album today.
so good.
i forgot how much i loved it.
i need to get to blessings and spend some of my birthday money.
whoo!
i don't know what i'll get.
maybe 'b collision', that would be sweet.
or a book?
i feel like i am so out of the christian loop.
i miss the good old days of audio a and dc talk.
they were always my first pick.
well them or skillet or earthsuit.
now its like....?
i don't even know who's out there!
i need to get out more i guess.
i think when i go to blessings i'll take terrell.
he knows his stuff.
now to find the time to go...

OOH! i forgot to mention that last week terrell and i played in a cpac mixed doubles tournament. it was pretty crazy - lots of teams from other schools and cmu's president gerald gerbrandt even made an appearance! anyhoo we did good - we got third out of ten teams. everyone said it would either make or break our relationship and i must say, after almost a year we're still going strong. :)

I Only Need One!

Is there any way to work off a double chin?

I lose weight and yet it remains.

I hate it!

by the way sorry for the lack of posting; blogger has been ticking me off lately and i have been swamped at school - a really bad cold, assignments due everyday (including a 3500 word essay!), RA applications, and outtatown friends visiting. its been crazy! i hope this month will be less crazy.

Choir Tour Funking

So I'm back from tour.
It was amazing.
I wish I could explain all the details but I don't think I can.
It was GREAT to be in a smaller community again, especially while travelling.
It reminded me of Outtatown in some ways.
It was wonderful even though everyone got the flu.
It just made everyone lift each other up.
I especially loved our devotional times together, they were very special.
I almost cried singing "The Lord Bless and Keep You" today.
Our conductor did.
Agh I am so NOT happy to be back in the real world.
The caf seemed too crowded, res seems too big.
There is more to do then sleep and sing.
Poo.
I feel emotional and weird.
I think I'll watch a movie and have a good cry, then go to bed.
I wish I could hang out with Terrell, but he's working hard on an essay.
He inspires me with his dedication to school.
I love that guy!
Ok, I am off.
Have a good one.

So I Turned 20 Today

So, its my birthday today...and I'm actually feeling a little sad.

I don't know if I like birthdays or not...I feel like I am getting to be a bit like my dad - as in I really make big deals out them/want to anyways. So we aren't really doing anything that I know of. Everyone was asking me what we're doing tonight and I was like, why do I need to plan it? Its my birthday, and it should be planned for me! Ha ha, seriously though, like I'd like to do stuff but I don't necessarily want to make people do things for me...

Gah I am feeling old and a little unspecial today, even with the phone calls and e-mails. I miss my family too like no one's business, shed a few tears about it just now. Plus Terrell's really busy so its not like I get to hang out with him all day, and Bakes went home. I feel lame, and selfish, and like I want to do something fun but I don't know what.

On the plus side I am not puking my guts out like I did last year.

Leaving for choir tour tomorrow...

Crazy Busy!

Sorry its been so long. February is officially hell month. I am going to be busy for a LONG time.

On a happy note, I spent Friday night at Allison Enns' house. It was excellent. I had a wonderful date with Terrell on Saturday and I went out for supper with him and his grandparents on Sunday. It was really nice! Then I hung out with Brynne and Scott and that was good as well. Happy Love Spooning Party! Whoo!

To top it all off I recieved some really exciting news on Wednesday and today I had a great chat with Tim Remple about being an RA in the block next year. I am going to apply and I feel as though he likes me and that will help me out a bit. :)

Supper soon! I hope its good! It smelled like perogies...I know it isn't...

Tonight I have a meeting and then WORK WORK WORK my little behind off.

Stupid 8-page long computer applications assignment!

Billy Talent!

Billy Talent was AWESOME last night! Seriously, they were great! They had an awesome sound live, which was excellent. I still can't hear or speak.
Here are our thoughts after the show. Sorry about the F-Bomb! Totally Catcher in the Rye all over again. If you don't understand that, its okay.:)

I'll post more later. Gotta go to class!

The Big 5-2!

I would just like to say a massive and love-filled
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
to my wonderful daddy...

...the best daddy in the world!
I love you and I wish I could be there with you today!
Have a great day!

Doesn't he look sweet...sleeping and looking like Yoda? Ha ha!

lazy dayzy

another saturday at cmu...this has been the first one since i've gotten back that hasn't been insane.

of course that means that the 48 hours after that will be!

tomorrow i have choir, and then i get to watch curling (!!!) in a box (!!!) the final game of the canadian open (!!!). I might get to see david nedohin (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) depending on how well they play today - do it team ferbey!!

later that evening is ballroom dance and time with kirsten, and then monday is classes and then supper and BILLY TALENT!!

i have been looking forward to this since october, no lies. so i am pumped!

today has been LL - lazy and lonely. i showered, shaved my legs, vacuumed my room, and watched zoolander by myself.

yup, i'm cool.

i don't know where anyone is to chill with...terrell is watching curling all day and scott left for the evening, and brynne is busy.

so i guess i'll eat popcorn and read anabaptist beginnings.

mmm...salt and martin luther.

EDIT: I AM SEEING TEAM FERBEY TOMORROW! I could die of complete joy, a life dream coming true!! Oh my word, I am SO EXCITED!!

Friends and Team Ferbey!

So my computer has finally decided to let me post from it, so I thought I'd better cease the opportunity!!

Last night was fun. Lots of Outtatowners, 17 (exactly half) to be exact. We went out for supper at Applebees (which always makes me sick after) and then hung out in the alcove of the lounge, talking and reminiscing. It was sweet.

Then I talked with Scott and Terrell for a while until Terrell went to bed. Scott and I had both were having an 'emo' day so we stayed up talking and singing along to High School Musical and Kelly Clarkson. It was fun but I killed my already-sore throat. Jess, Landon and Jothom were a slight interruption which included snorting, crying, kissing and laughing. And many many photos. I laugh right now remembering...ha ha!

Anyhoo so we finally decided we should go to bed, and he walked me back to my res. I was asleep as soon as I hit the pillow, I think!

OH GUESS WHAT?!?! I am totally going to watch the final game of the Canadian Open! Terrell has free tickets so he, Zach, Baker and I are going! I almost cried when I found out, I am so excited! Dad, I could see like, Gushue Stoughton, or (squeal!) TEAM FERBEY. Yeah I am freaking out. Wow.

So thats all for today.

crazyawesome weekend

I thought last weekend was amazing, how does my life keep rocking even more?

I don't really know what to say about it, it will probably bore everyone who wasn't there. But it was AMAZING!

Terrell was gone all weekend so my best friends decided to keep me as busy as possible so I didn't miss him too much, LOL!

Thursday meant marks (I did good! And I got a C+ in bio! Whoo that was all I wanted!), choir, Marva Dawn, pool, Step Up with Justin, Scott and Brynne, talking, crying, emoting, dancing, and then ridiculous amounts talking until unGodly hours.

Friday was sleeping, showering, talking with Scott all afternoon, supper, High School Musical w/ Scott, almost watching curling until my ride fell through, snack, G smacked my butt accidentally, busing to the OC with Justin, Scott, Brynne and Rachel, freezing in line, running to the bus, freezing my feet, walking forever, getting lost, getting cold, getting checked out by people in drag, getting scared, being relieved and warm in the Empire, dancing, laughing, sweating, taxis, McDonalds, Get Over It, going to bed in the wee hours of the morning.

Saturday was sleeping, hanging with Scott and Blatz, pool, McDonalds with Scott, Brynne, Rachel and Mae, looking at Africa pictures, Nikela, curling, going to Zach's, Bogart, SNL, pictures, back to CMU, creme egg! talking through a movie while eating pizza with Tyler and Scott, falling alseep on Tyler's bed, going to bed.

Sunday was breakfast with Scott, African church (or choich if you will), dancing, clapping, exhaustion, African food, back to CMU, off to curling with Brynne and Mike, getting lost, laughing, watching Terrell and Zach win, coming back, eating ice cream, hanging out with Terrell, ballroom dance, more time with Terrell, snack, pool, hanging with Blatz high kicking in the hallway, snorting and nearly peeing my pants, and finally off to bed.

Welcome back, Monday. Off to supper with Terrell's grandparents tonight! And tomorrow is Terrell and my 10 month anniversary...crazy.

i was bad to my body this weekend...too much dairy! and mcdonalds...eww. and my first creme egg of 2007!

mmm...yummy.

Sweet Action

So today started off crappy...I woke up with something in my eye. Still haven't gotten it out yet, but it hurt like a mofo! So I spent all of Anabaptist Beginnings crying, finally leaving the room to dig around my eye in the bathroom. My prof came out looking for me and asked me if I was okay, so I had to explain and felt dumb!
After class was sweet though! I played badminton with Caryn, Terrell and Mae. It was SO FUN! And painful, who knew I had those muscles? I hope to play again (maybe every Tuesday and Thursday?). I was nervous cuz I haven't played since gym in like grade 10, but I wasn't terrible. It was a fun workout and I really enjoyed getting some agression out on the birdie - and Mae apparently. I hit her in the face with it when I smashed it like 3 times. She must think I have a personal vendetta against her. Really Mae, I love you!
Then choir and computer apps, my eye is still driving me crazy. Especially when I lay down and close it...sleeping should be an adventure.
Well off to the books and hopefully some eye drops. Baker you rock my socks!

I am Happy

okay so my blog won't let me post when i'm on my computer...any advice? right now i am on baker's, but its very annoying not being able to comment or anything when i want to...

Best weekend EVER!
Pancakes.
Drama.
Friends.
Fun.
Tootsie Roll Pops.
Glenn, Mike and It Is To Laugh.
M&Ms.
Degrassi.
Men In Kilts.
Cold.
Taxis.
Spooning with Brynne.
Applebees.
Burgers!
Catching every bus.
New shirt.
Calling my mommy.
Terrell.
Ballroom dancing.
Cars.
Love.
High School Musical.

Great people. (Justin, Baker, Megan, Terrell, Caryn, Scott, Mae)

Happiness.
Plans.
Dancing.
Guitar.
Singing with Caryn.
Talking to Scott on MSN.
Going to bed
With a smile on my face.
I.
Love.
Life.

Freedom Writers

So the movie Freedom Writers came out yesterday! I cannot wait to see it, it looks upsetting, moving and amazing. I am pumped! And so many other people want to see it too...I think we should all go together. When does it start playing in Winnipeg? Cause I wanna go!

Also I just watched the lastest episode of Degrassi and totally cried, I cannot believe that they killed off my favorite character JT! I was so upset, and it happened so ridiculously... it was very sad. I felt like a loser sitting here crying, ha ha.

Yesterday I missed my mommy alot. During class I looked at Sheila teaching and Megan learning and I wondered what it would be like to have my mom teach me a class. I think it would be cool and I really wanted to go to the front of the class and hug her because I really missed my mom. Now I feel sad again. I think I'll call home tomorrow.

The Bra, The Bad, and the Ugly

So last night was fun! Brynne came over with measuring tape and we measured and then went bra shopping. I found 2 that I liked, and one of them was only like $6.00! So that was sweet! And finally I have a bra that fits. Turns out I'm now a 36C, even though thats not what we measured at all. Stupid abnormal boobs! Sorry Terrell for all the bra posting, it will probably cease now that I have ones that fit!

Then Brynne and I went to see The Prestige in cheap seats. It was interesting...and very weird. The ending was astounding, pure cinematic genious! But as a whole I don't think I really liked the movie. It was about two horrible people who were obsessed with ruining each other's lives, so it wasn't the happiest story line at all. I didn't want either of them to win, they were so lame. Second movie I've seen in a while where one character's lives is all about secrets - this does not work! Especially in a relationship! So please converse, and don't lie, thats all I ask of you!

Then we came back and watched The Last Kiss with a bunch of people. Worst. Movie. Ever. Nothing about it was enjoyable for me, AT ALL. I was assaulted in every sense - my ears heard too many f-words, my eyes saw waaay too much sex and nudity, and my head was spinning in complete confusion of why someone felt the need to make this movie. If you like Zach Braff or Rachel Bilson and intend to keep it that way, do not see it! It was horrible, so many bad things happened and it was so dumb! The entire movie I had my hands in the air yelling, what the heck! I actually cried when it was over because it was very upsetting and unsettling for me. I mean in the movie his gf is pregnant, and then he cheats on her. Thats one of the worst things I can imagine. How alone would she feel? Oh, it was horrid. And I refuze to like it just because Zach Braff made it as well.

Afterwards Brynne and I talked a while in Megan's room and then tried on clothes in mine. I stayed up too late thinking. But yeah, it was a fun evening despite TLK and all of its horridness.

Srozhdestvom Kristovym!

Merry Ukranian Christmas, all!

I miss eating lots of Baba food like we usually do. Instead I ate old chicken fingers in CMU's caf. Oh, week in review!

Today was good. Productive. Fun! And some things that have been bugging me were discussed and somewhat resolved...I guess we'll see in time. Ballroom dancing was frustrating but fun. I found out that I like to/am a good lead. Thanks Ian for giving me that opportunity to show off my skills.

Then it was Dave and snack and now studying and bed. Good times!

EDIT: So I really need to go bra shopping...I've lost some weight and I think they've shrunk! Figures, that thats the first place you lose it...I am a little nervous to go through the ordeal again. Anyone remember this?

Oh How the Years Go By

Who's pumped for 2007? Thats right its me baby! Ready to ring in the new year with two of my close friends and my darling parents. And a lot of food! New Year's is never really a super huge party anymore, but its still fun. Plus there's punch (eh Brynne?)!

Hmm...2006. What a big year for me! Went to Africa, held babies and orphans, tried to make a difference, swam with sharks, got attacked by b a b o o n s, swam in the ocean, hiked mountains, made new friends, g r e w in God, fell in love, chose a career, worked for 4 months, gained and lost a bunch of weight, got bangs, studied, cried, worshipped, d a n c e d, counselled, prayed, laughed a lot, and had a love/dislike relationship with life.

Overall a pretty good year, I'd say.

This past year has brought me so much and I am so thankful to have had it; I can only look forward to and feel ready to embrace what the coming year will bring. If its anything like this past year then I know at least one thing to be true - it is in God's hands, and I trust Him to continue to lead me along as He has thus far.

Change of Plans

After a frustrating and painful morning (liquid nitrogen, I hate you!) we cancelled our trip to see the movie. I can't believe its not playing yet! Ridic! Anyhoo, so because my foot hurt we decided to go tomorrow and have supper and go bowling instead of wasting money on a movie we don't want to see. So pumped! Bowling with Henk is always the funniest thing ever!

I went to Brandon today anyway, with my sister. She got her hair cut and I got some pictures printed ($10 worth, or 58 ha ha!) and I booked a hair appointment for myself for tomorrow. That is a necessity. I bought some pretty clothes from Giant Tiger as well. Brown ones.

After her hair cut we had supper at Joey's (yum!) and saw The Good Shepard with Scott. It was weird. And dark. And disturbing. And weird. And Matt Damon is a good actor, but yeah it was weird. But nice to see Scott! And then we talked about the movie practically the whole way home, and now here we are.

Home sweet home.

EDIT: I forgot to mention that yesterday afternoon KB and I pulled out our instruments from high school band - her trombone and my trumpet. I almost had an aneurysm. It was pretty hilarious! And fun, I played taps. Afterwards I has the sickest lip hickey ever, it was sweet!

Fun Times

So the past few days have been fun - Boxing Day with the Bryce clan and two crazy cousins. I was happy to have a tea party with Kiah, watch Cars with Elijah and that Tyler could come for a few days! I enjoy him, even though he kicks my butt at crokinole.

Went to Brynne's yesterday, saw her fam and her massive television. I want. LOL! It almost gave me a headache though! But we exchanged gifts and I got a sweet action shirt from her, I love it! It was fun, and she decided to spend the night and so we rented Stick It and Step Up after having supper at Choy's. Of course as soon as we got home I got a severe head ache, so I spent the night on the couch feeling nauseous and exhausted. But we watched both films, which were pretty good (Stick It was nothing like I thought it'd be - but still pretty good) even though I had a 15 minute nap between the two.

Today we woke up, ate, chilled, kept eating, talked for a few hours, watched Step Up again and then I took her home. It was really funny because I told a story and Brynne shot water out of her nose...ha ha! Oh Nargus!

Scary story!!! I was listening to my new Christina Aguilera CD, and the first song on the second disk has carnival music in it, and it scared me SO BAD. I hate clowns, and carnival-esque stuff, yikes I was like totally freaking out and shaking so Brynne made me change the song. Ug, I still feel all shook up *cue Elvis voice*.

Yup tomorrow I go to the doctor, hopefully get a wart removed (yahoo) and then off to Brandon with Henk, Brynne and Bakes. Life is good.

Glorious Impossible

so this song is basically defining my christmas this year. here it is being sung by the gaither vocal band - good stuff. hope you like it. i am not as in love with this version as i am of the one on our christmas in south africa video, but it is still great. how much do you love the dark-haired high tenor? i want to hug him!

Its Christmas Eve!

Today has been quite the day! First, there was church and it was a great service. It was a Christmas/Baptismal service. I definitly cried, Pastor baptised his son and they were both crying when he dunked him. Actually each of the three people that got baptised were crying, so that was nice because it showed that it meant so much to them. It was very happy and emotional. Plus a lot of people were home for Christmas so we got to see a whole bunch of people that I haven't seen in like a year.

Then we had lunch, read the Christmas story from Luke, sang "Joy to the World" and opened presents. I got some sweet stuff! I got Amanda Falk's CD, the movie Cars from Jordan, some sweet action socks, guitar strings, a Newsboys devotional book, Philip Yancy's new book about prayer, some scrapbooking stuff complete with some sweet action albums (so now I need to print pictures and get started on my OT albums) and last but not least, a knitted black toque from my sister - with a brim!! Oh baby!!!! What I have wanted for a long time and everyone says they will mock me for wearing it, but just you wait CMU, I will be wearing it when I get back! Ha ha! Putting it on ruined my hair though...

Anyhoo tonight is supper at Baba's (bring on the nylyshynky!) and fun family times ensuing after that. And tomorrow is Christmas day at Baba's, where more presents wait (which is absurd! I have already gotten so much). I am excited to see my aunt and uncle and eat too much!

Mostly though, people, I feel really excited about Jesus this Christmas, about the 'glorious impossible' that came to earth to die for all my sins and faults. Praise God, eh? I mean we are so undeserving, but He loves us all the same. Thats pretty sweet.

Merry Christmas!

roly poly annoying-oly!

i am really sick of feeling fat!

SO sick of it!

its gotten to the point where i feel uncomfortable in my own body; uncomfortable existing.

its not even an emotional feeling, its purely physical.

yuck! it makes me angry. and its not fully my fault.

i wish bran worked. grr.

--i am not always this negative. its just been a bad couple of days--

Shopped Out

So I spend a majority of my day in the mall. Ew.

I can't believe when I was 14 that was a hang out location of choice!

Christmas shopping was frustrating and hard, so needless to say I was in a bad mood.

Then I came home and had 4 e-mails: one each from Mike, Chaput, Dayna and Terrell respectively.

So now I am happy and full of homemade cookie. Yay!

BRYNNE COMES HOME TOMORROW! Thats happy!

Candlelight Service

Last night was the Candlelight Service at church.

I like candles.

And carols.

And Jesus.

So basically it was a good night.

Home Again, Home Again!

So I am now home! After a bio exam and the longest, frightening and most snow-filled drive home, I am back in the Strath Dot. Kristin and I ate and then headed to the church Christmas Concert, which was hilarious! Between Mike knocking down the nativity, Luke the shepard joining the angels and Mary and Joseph sprinting to Bethlehem, I laughed until I was sore. It was nice to sit back at watch the concert for once and not be in it.

I can honestly say that I was welcomed home with open arms. I think I got a hug from over half of the congregation and then some! So many people told me I looked good and my great aunt (Baba's sister) commented on how much weight I had lost, even encouraging me to eat more dainties and expressed concern that she could feel the bones in my fingers. LOL! It was funny and so nice to feel so loved.

After the concert I watched the Gaither Homecoming in South Africa video with my family - AMAZING. I loved it SO MUCH! SO many good songs and funny moments. I had chills like the whole time, so many moving songs (especially the Iaacs singing "Blessed Assurance"). PLUS!!!! They went to the school we went to and delivered shoe boxes! The one in Soweto that we painted and sang at! It was incredible to behold.

Today I slept in and hung out with the fam. I even ventured to SL to see Baba. I forgot how much I miss driving! Baba gave me a pretty bracelet and fed me too much. Tonight has been pretty chill - watched Montreal kill Pitsburg 6-3 (what a final 30 seconds!) and watched some AFV with the whole fam, including Jordan! I laughed too much and feel ill. Well soon I'll head off to bed so I can function at church tomorrow. Love to all!

AH! HENK CAME HOME TONIGHT! I will probably see him...tomorrow...

Homesick

So I realise this song is about someone dying, but it kinda sums up how I feel right now. So many people have left, and I just want to go home, not study/write an exam! So here is a great song by MercyMe to express myself.

You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times

And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you

But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry

Is how long must I wait to be with you

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways

The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know

But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same

Cause I'm still here so far away from home

I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

In Christ, there are no goodbyes

And in Christ, there is no end

So I'll hold onto Jesus with all that I have

To see you again

To see you again

And I close my eyes and I see your face

If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place

Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

Won't you give me strength to make it through somehow

I've never been more homesick than now

Canmates: The Pros and Cons

CON: They play loud, crappy music.

PRO: They never listen to country!

CON: Their sink is DISGUSTING!

PRO: Its their sink, and I have my own.

CON: They use toilet paper faster than anything.

PRO: hmm...I guess they buy more sometimes.

CON: They never unlock my door after they shower.

PRO: I get to hone in on my lock-picking skills.

CON: They don't empty the garbage.

PRO: They take out the recycling.

CON: Talking is sometimes awkward.

PRO: They are pretty nice.

CON: They do laundry by hand and leave the floor a wet mess.

PRO: They usually de-hair the shower.

wow making this list has made me realise how gross bathrooms are! ew! and that a two week break from them will be lovely and is much appreciated.

Pouting

Ok, so right now I am totally pouting.

I was listening to Barenaked Ladies and decided to look them up on Ticket Master b/c I knew they were coming to Winnipeg soon.

And they are!

On February 13! Great birthday gift!

Oh wait I have choir tour....

So now I pout.

I mean I'm really pumped for tour, but like, it does mean no reading week which sucks...sigh...

Divine Text Message

guys...God is so great....

i was just sitting here looking at my bib lit with dismay when my phone went off.

tyler had texted me!

it said, "janna we love you and are praying for you. you will do awesome.

you can do all things through Him who gives you strength."

and i never expressed any concern to him at all, and i was just feeling overwhelmed....

totally a God thing.

off to study now, i hope it goes well.

p.s. terrell's mom sent me a letter and my soul is very thrilled. :)

p.p.s. look guys, i have the cutest boyfriend alive! seriously!

too tired to function

so i've been up past three the last four nights in a row...

should probably sleep sooner tonight.

do you ever have a day where you think you'd find it totally satisfying to cry? that was me today. didn't cry though, shucks.

i burnt my tongue on hot chocolate tonight and it hurts. plus i have soy milk in my lungs!

inspiring song line of the day:

"I won't hate myself to be loved by you."
-Hedley

(whoooooooaaa, whooooooooaaaa) yeah its a good song.

i sound stupid. good night all!

Christmas Gala!

So last night was the CMU Christmas Gala. It was so fun! I wore my grad dress, which made me so happy. It didn't even feel too tight, which was sweet. Terrell dressed to match me and that was happy as well. I don't think we've ever had that many pictures taken together ever in my life! After food, a boring program, and many many pictures we headed to the Blaurock for the after-party that included a crazy awesome band and lots of Mennonite dancing!! Here are some pictures from last night.

who's hot? its me and t-rell!

dookhie and myself behind the trees.

kissing caryn!

pregnant with Jotham (mom he says hi and apologises by the way ha ha)

pooped from dancing.

Afterwards G, Terrell, Caryn and I hung out in G's apartment. It was fun! I felt weird after the night was over, however. Lately I've really sucked at dealing with fun things coming to an end. I get depressed and feel like crying. Maybe it happened as well because I had been looking forward to the gala for so long - I just want to go home now that its over. Unfortunately I have two exams coming up before then, ew. But tomorrow Bakes and I are going to house-sit for Alison's aunt while they are at Todd's funeral, so I should get some good study time in then.

Exploited

Has anyone heard the new Gwen Stefani song? I mean first she takes "If I Were A Rich Man" from Fiddler on the Roof and now she uses "The Lowly Goatherd" from the Sound of Music.

IS NOTHING SACRED?!?!?

I mean what will she sample next? "I'd Do Anything" from Oliver! ? "If I Only Had a Brain" from the Wizard of Oz? Perhaps she'll use something from Hello Dolly, or Jesus Christ Superstar. People, I will not be surprised. So watch out, your favorite musical may be exploited soon!

Random Fun Things

Last weekend at the mall I set off alarms everywhere I went because I didn't remove the 'Please remove after purchase" tag. Each store kept scanning my bag, but my pants kept setting it off. Finally in Shoppers, after setting off the alarm entering and leaving the store, the guy scanned my bag and I showed him that it was indeed my pants by going through the entrance again. He looked at me, tapped the counter and said, "hop up." So I sat on the scanner thing, wiggled my butt a few times and got off. No more setting off alarms for me! So funny! Everyone in the store was howling when I got up on that thing...maybe it was mostly Brynne...

You guys, God is awesome. I accomplished everything on my to do list today. That was exciting! Plus I even found time to watch curling with Baker! That was great, even though Ferbie lost...grr! Anyhoo, Bib Lt homework - check. Steal Baker and Terrell's cameras - check. See a movie with Brynne - check (Little Miss Sunshine...it was weird and good and sad and hilarious). Hang out with Terrell (?) - check! Even though it was only for like 15 minutes, those 15 minutes mean so much to me. I am happy for anytime spent with him. What can I say? Easy to please!

I should be sleeping so I can accomplish my to do list for tomorrow. I am going to fast and pray for all the students preparing for exams and for the Outtatown students that are preparing to return home for Christmas. It is a difficult time! I am looking forward to spending that time in prayer.

Goodnight my lovelies.

P.S. I quit hockey and feel great about it. This was the first Sunday in a month where I didn't feel stressed at all.

For Anyone Who Is:

don't you just love being in love?

We are so FRUSTRATING!

Oh no, the show that is currently on my TV just called Rebecca St. James a bonified rock star. Ew.

So the other night Caryn and I watched the Tyra Banks show, and it was about women with self esteem issues. It showed all these pretty, normal-sized, if anyhting skinny, women and there was tears and all just oblivious and seriously misguided about how they actually look. It was so SAD, I mean they think they are way fatter than they are and Tyra just kept telling them 'you are not fat, you're beautiful.'

Now what bugs me is that I, as a woman, also feels that way. Not always super fat and hideous, but not beautiful enough. Enough for what I'm not quite sure. The whole time I was thinking why can't we as women stop judging each other and stop hating ourselves and just realise that we are beautiful? Why shouldn't I be able to look in the mirror and think that I have value and am accepted the way I am instead of looking in the mirror and only seeing stomach fat, zits and a double chin? Why can't I look in the mirror and believe that I am a beautiful creation of God? And why is it so important to me to be beautiful by society's standards? To quote my favorite man Nathan Reiger, 'who the hell are they' to tell me what is beautiful, and that I am not?

I seriously think that we women are the whole reason that we feel pressured to look certain ways. Not just celebrities either, but women in general. We are the ones looking at each other and saying things like 'ooh, sausage in a casing' or 'hunny, don't try to fit 15 pounds into a 5 pound bag.' I myself am guilty of this...how to stop it all is probably impossible, and I don't know where to begin. I guess it begins with me and my attitude.

--happy eight months to me and terrell, whoo! ---

Kiwi

okay is it weird that this video totally made me cry?

-back to bio-

Wonderful

Wonderful, you ask? Yes, wonderful! I'll tell you whats wonderful in my life. My weekend was in every way wonderful. My parents came in for my sister's birthday and Terrell and I spent the night with them at her house. The instant I got in her house I started laughing and didn't stop until I got back to CMU. Firstly they picked us up at CMU and brought gifts - my grad dress (which I fit!) and food and a new laptop! With XP on it! So I was very excited about that. And then it was off to Kristin's, and she opened gifts. She got exciting things like towels and a Holy Candle...hee hee. Anyhoo, the night consisted of talking, eating, and laughing. And staying up too late. Then next day we got up and ate after nearly suffocating from the bacon smoke/grease in the air...Tyler ate all my chewy bacon, which I was a tad bitter about. Anyhoo, while we women did the dishes dad took Terrell to get his hair cut (yeah, he looks hot). It was fun to have some women chat in the kitchen - I love my mom. She is so full of wisdom, I feel really excited that I am at the age where I can learn so much from her. The boys came back and we went shopping. I got jeans (hallelujah!) and dad and Terrell bonded by talking hockey and buying bouncy balls.

After that we walked around the mall. Terrell and I had nothing pressing to buy so we walked around together and hung out in Chapters on the floor. That was so fun! Then we sat near Santa's display and people watched before we met up and had a beverage with the fam in the food court. Afterwards we met up with Tyler and went to the Old Spaghetti Factory, which was actually the funniest meal of my entire life. I had to run to the bathroom twice to keep from peeing my pants! The waiter smacking people on the head, the unusual bowls, mom dismissing the waiter when he offered us the bill, dad getting emotional about ice cream - so fun! Then we went back to Kristin's and Terrell read aloud the list of sexiest men alive, and we critiqued each one - I mean Nick Nolte? Patrick Swayzee? Ew! Terrell's head actually nearly exploded he laughed so hard. And then Tyler got too comfy with my mom...sigh. I could try to explain it all but it just won't be funny to you. All I know is that my head and stomach hurt like no other and I have never heard my dad laugh like that in my life. We watched Faulty Towers and could hardly laugh after all that.

Lunch at The Pancake House was quite fun as well - Terrell smoked a waitress and yeah, it was just funny. After my parents left I cried and went to Zach's for a Grey Cup party. It would've been more fun if I wasn't so tired/stressed about hockey...which was cancelled. Who knew? Later that evening I bawled like 4 times, I think the mixture of happiness, exhaustion, and sadness that the weekend of perfection was all over contributed. But I watched Untamed Heart with Caryn and we had a great talk and then I went to bed.

So yes, watching my boyfriend and my parents interact was wonderful; hanging out with them all one-on-one was wonderful; laughing so much was just wonderful. What a crazy awesome weekend!

my cats are dumb

so i was looking at pictures today, and i miss my two cats. they are so dumb! especially mo, well he poses for more pictures than mel who is camera-shy. so yeah, here are there in various stages of sleep and other things!

mozart on his favorite chair.
melody looking grumpy or sick...bad picture!how is this even comfortable? what a knob!

Poppies, Measles and Eyebrows

Today Aicha told me she liked my pin.
I said, "my poppy?"
And she said, "your what?"

And I then realised that not everyone knows what a poppy is. I guess it makes sense because she grew up in Africa and then moved to the States, but still. I never thought that someone wouldn't know what a poppy is. Wierd.

So I think Bakes has the measles - well I don't know what she's got but I like to call her Measles all the same.

Never pluck your eye brows when you first wake up - oh my word mine are now awful. Like awful - oh my word. Well I think so anyways.

Brynne just texted me and it scared me so bad I bit my tongue!

EDIT: GUESS WHO I JUST SAW? At choir practise? Ruth Wiwchar, my amazing conductor from WMYC and she remembered me, hugged me, and sang with me!!! I love her, it made my entire day!

Aggrivating Night

Okay, so last night I went to bed early, hoping to have a good, restful sleep so I could be ready for my 8:30 am class. That was until around 4:30 am when I thought I heard my phone. I didn't get out of bed, the person hung up. An hour later it rang again, and I couldn't find it in my dazed state. About five minutes later it rang AGAIN, and then I found it just as soon as the person hung up. So, I found my phone, absolutely SICK, I mean I thought someone had died, because who calls people at that hour? When I looked at it I did not recognise the number at all, and that was frustrating. I was up for two hours afterwards, waiting for it to ring again, worried that something terrible happened. Nothing. So by then it was 7:45, and I was exhausted so I went back to sleep and woke up at 9:00 - yeah definitely missed class. So Mr. 582-6159, whoever you are, I hope everything is okay and I hope that you had as restful of a morning as I had.

In other news, I stood in front of the entire choir today and named every single member of it, which was quite the feat - there is over 50 of us, and I didn't know a quarter of those names until Tuesday. Janet says I win a prize! I'm pumped.

Now enough procrastinating - back to my process journal for theatre.

An Awfully Big Adventure

So I was thinking about the movie Peter Pan (the 2003 version, if you haven't seen it go watch it immediately b/c it is beautiful and moving) and about the one line Peter says:

"To live would be an awfully big adventure."

I was dwelling on this while brushing my teeth. Living is an awfully big adventure! How many small risks do we take a day? Something as simple as sitting beside someone new in the caf or speaking up in class, to something as huge as changing career paths or telling someone how you really feel about them. I've just been thinking about my life, my adventure and where I am today compared to where I was even three months ago. People I am a university student - a difficult and sometimes overwhelming job, but also a satisfying and rewarding experience. I am a singer, a worship leader. I am a prayer warrior. I have friends, and we do fun things like have OC marathons or go bowling, and then pray for each other and have meaningful talks. I am in love, perhaps one of my greater adventures. What a funny thing, feeling as though you absolutely cannot live without another person in your life, and having them feel the same for you. And constantly looking towards the future together...it blows my mind. It rocks me somewhat that I am in my Britney Spears faze - "not a girl but not yet a woman." I cannot believe I just quoted that song, I am a loser. But yeah, I am in the point in my life where I'm not too old to do a whole lot and I'm not too young to do a whole lot. Where is this post going? What was the point of it again? Oh right, adventure. My life is crazy, and I can't believe its mine. Thank you for being a part of it.

Sorry for this random outburst of word-vomit.

So Thankful!

You guys, read this!

2000 PEOPLE! 2000!

Jaw-dropping.

i am delirious

So I think this week of soliderity is messing with my mind. I am SO TIRED right now, its ridic! I am thinking about the things I need to do this weekend and dreading it, due to sheer exhaustion. Which is silly, b/c on the weekend I'll be eating and functioning again, so I should have nothing to worry about, but I feel so tired...I plan on going to bed at like 10:00 tonight, that will be nice. In two hours I get to eat more lentils and rice, hoorah! It has been nice this week not eating any dairy or anything, my stomach feels nice and isn't bloated, plus I haven't taken any lactaid pills! Thats nice, but it also means unfortunately that I am lactose intolerant - dang. I won't give up sour cream, though, heck no! Never in my life, that and cream sauce, you will have to fight me to the death to keep me from that! I love being Ukranian. I am so hungry right now...but I won't eat, I am so close to finishing the week, I might as well just go all the way. Man I am tired, and this probably makes no sense...I'm out.

Much love, y'all.

Franklin Graham Festival

Man I have so much to say about it, but so little at the same time...hmm. I think I will wait until I can put pictures up on here. So yes, I will wait.

I will say that it was astounding seeing so many people turn to Christ! Amazing! And Newsboys, and okay I will post later!!
EDIT:
Here are some pictures for your enjoyment!

The huge sign in front of me...there was over 1000 people in the choir, it was sweet!
Me and my lovely friend Janelle managed to sit together - yay!
Franklin on the big screen. I don't think I really like his approach to get people to turn to Christ (ei decribing hell, condemnation, etc) but obviously he's doing some great work for the Lord and it is working - people are definitly coming to God by going to these events. I just hope that he remains sensitive to God's voice and that it is only God who gives him his words. I don't know how I would've felt if I wasn't a Christian. I thought it was great to have him in the city, hopefully touching many lives.
CASTING CROWNS! OH MY WORD! They were SO good!!
So was M. Dub, and Newsboys and Tree63. And Paul Brandt! So good live! I totally enjoyed him. And Terrell was so cute watching him, aww. Okay but the big story is that only ppl with wristbands could get into the pit for Newsboys and Tree63, and yet Janelle, Jessica, Terrell and I managed to get there. All we said was, "we're in the choir" and they let us go! Jesus wanted us to be there! It was sweet! I moshed like a tool, the Newsboys sang all these songs of theirs I knew, like Breakfast, Shine, He Reigns, and man it was SWEET! And he had so many great things to say, man! But yeah that was amazing. The worship this weekend ROCKED MY SOCKS. I have never worshiped God in that way before, I don't think. Thank you Tommy Walker!
All the people in the middle came down for alter call - so many souls were won for Jesus this weekend! Amazing! It was an astounding sight.
Terrell, Caryn and myself eating some canning curtesy of Baba - we missed a few meals at the festival and they sure hit the spot.

Of course I am fasting now for the week of solidarity - one cup of rice and a half a cup of lentils plus three slices of bread equals my daily quota of food. So I miss the canning...and I could go for a burger right now. Hmm...but yeah, the weekend was a little bit crazy and rushed but generally a success! Praise God for it all!

Unique or Unpopular?

HowManyOfMe.com

There are: 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Okay so I totally stole this from Allison Lennox's blog, but I was curious. Did you know that:

There are 14,998 people in the U.S. with the first name Janna.
Statistically its the 1,495th most popular first name. (tied with 85 other first names)
More than 99.9 percent of people with the first name Janna are female.

There are 4,859 people in the U.S. with your last name.
Statistically the 7,052nd most popular last name. (tied with 59 other last names)

I find this whole thing hilarious. I very very unique right now, whoo!

Find yours out and tell me how many of you there are!

Cycles

So lately all my school work has been about cycles:

In Bib Lit, we disuss the sin cycle in one of our textbooks.

In Bio, cellular respiration.

In choir we sing the same 3 songs over and over again.

In Psych we discuss sleep cycles. Who knew that we have four stages of sleep, and the average person goes through them in 90 minutes? And how you feel when you wake up is based on which cycle of sleep you woke up in. So when you nap for an hour, you can still feel tired because you woke up in your third or fourth cycle (the heavier ones). But when you nap for 3 hours, you'll feel refreshed. So last night I tested it. I stayed up an hour later then I would've liked to in order to sleep for around six hours so I'd wake up in the beginning of a cycle so it'd be easier to get up. Totally works. I am a little tired, but generally my energy has been a lot better today. I feel good. So rock on with the sleep cycle! Whoo!

EDIT: Terrell just came and said that we have a ride to choir practise tonight, so we're gonna be in the choir at the Franklin Graham festival this weekend! I am so excited!

Uh, Yeah, Hair...

So this week has been good...rainy, grey and thus making me feel drained, but alright so far. Plus I dyed Caryn's hair, and that was exciting, and last night Chaput dyed my hair! Red and black, whoo! Plus, as you can see - I got bangs! Whoa! Scary and exciting. At least she can help me style it...ha ha. Well I should go eat supper so later gaters!

Soy Good!

nothing makes me happier than a surprise-
especially when that surprise is chocolate
soy milk given to me by my bestest friend.
good ole bakes!

It's Snowing!

Happy Thanksgiving!

I have so many things that I'm thankful for and probably shouldn't try to list them, but here's an attempt:

that i can suck so often and God still loves me, that i am healthy in most ways, my amazing family and wonderful friends who stick by me through everything (even when i'm grumpy), last year's experience that i can carry with me forever, my awesome boyfriend who loves me unconditionally and always makes me feel beautiful, my eyes and ears that see and hear God speak in small and unusual ways, my hometown (I LOVE IT) and that i could spend the weekend here, that i have the opportunity to learn and to do so in a Christian environment, for the gift and power of prayer, for comfy beds, being able to sing, and for new mercies and joys that each day brings.

There are so many more, but I have to go set the table for supper.

Hope your weekend was blessed.

It's Skirt Day!

Happy Skirt Day, ladies!

-p.s. this was taken today is ash's room-

Tueday's End

ah, tuesday is almost over.

after 3 tests and an-almost doctor's appointment, i feel ready to fall down dead of exhaustion and stress.

i got an a- on my theatre perfromance! woot.
and bio was way easier than i thought.
and to the doctor on thursday.

but tonight, sleep.

ah, sweet rem cycle, how i missed thee.

EDIT: yay for curry for supper! and for two wonderful friend and my awesome boyfriend.

why is my room so cold?